«The only thing I asked when we started talking about giving Amparito adoption is that they find a family that loved her and that my girl was in the best hands. Those who could give him all the special care he requires and that I, because of my situation, cannot give him ».
Excited and with a lump in her throat that sometimes prevents her from speaking, Cati recounts the moment she decided to give her assent so that her daughter could be given up for adoption. Next to her, gently grabbing her hand as a sign of affection, is Ana, the kangaroo mother who has taken care of the little girl since she was born until she has found an adoptive family .
Since their arrival in the world, Amparo and her moms - the biological and the host - had to face different diagnoses that were not encouraging, which drew an uncertain future at the same time as complicated for the newborn.
«At birth she was not breathing and they had to take her immediately to the resuscitation room. When I saw her again, I had cables all over my body and my anguish was tremendous. Luckily, he was evolving for the best and, after 12 days admitted, he was discharged, ”explains Cati.
From the hospital she went to Ana's house, a kangaroo mother with a long career in the care of children with special needs, who three days after she was born took on the challenge of temporarily taking care of the child. First in the same hospital and then, where it has been his home until adoption .
«It was like a beautiful little doll. I have welcomed many children and from the first moment I noticed that it was difficult for her to suck the bottle and that she did not even claim the shots. She was a very absent child, like a little furniture, ”recalls Ana.
Slowly, very slowly, Amparo was evolving under his kangaroo mom's coat. The first smile took a long time to arrive, but it arrived. Just as the moment came when she managed to hold her head by herself or sit down without fearing she could fall. Despite her more than evident maturation delay, the girl was progressing and the link between her and Ana became bigger and stronger every day.
«The doctors told us that maybe he would never walk. But fortunately, thanks to his strength, his desire to fight and live and the help of physiotherapists, he was evolving favorably. And I was very comforted to see it. But at the same time I thought, can one day find a family for her?
Time was passing and when Ana least expected it, that day arrived. On the second floor of the Institut Mallorquí d'Afers Socials (IMAS) the Adoption phone rang and on the other side of the handset was Naomi. Mother of three children, the oldest of them with autism, called to ask about Amparo and find out if she was still in a situation of adoptability .
Each one by her side, both she and her husband had read a report in EL MUNDO, in which it was announced that the IMAS was looking for families to adopt two children with autism diagnostic guidance. His reaction soon arrived.
- Have you read it?
- Yes.
- And what do we call?
- Voucher!
Less than ten words were enough for Carlos and Naomi to decide to take the step. As parents of a child with autism spectrum disorder, they could not conceive that this was an obstacle for Amparo to find an adoptive family.
That they had three children - one of them with autism - and still wanted to adopt the baby, surprised the Adoption team. Little Amparo required a lot of attention and special care and we had to weigh very well if Carlos and Noemi's were the ideal family they were looking for. After assessing the request, they called the couple for a first interview.
As they were exceeding the established protocol, all those things that apparently could seem inconvenient became potentialities. Having a child with autism, Carlos and Naomi knew better than anyone else the needs of the girl and also the doors to call to alleviate them. The road that Amparo had to travel had already been taken before them with David and, therefore, could not have better guides. Besides, he would have in David the best mirror to look at; and in Marina and Miquel, two brothers who would understand and protect her better than anyone.
«Before giving the suitability to a family, we must assess it in depth to know if it has all the necessary capacities to take care of the child. We give them training, interviews, tests, we put videos on them and we explain everything about adoption. But in this case, we should also talk about Amparo's special needs and his identity, ”says María Luisa Servera, Adoption psychologist at IMAS.
Likewise, the technical team proposed to the couple to carry out an open adoption and that Amparo could continue to contact Cati - as regulated by law - and Ana, as it was the most beneficial for the girl. An approach that Naomi and Carlos understood and accepted.
After passing all the relevant assessments, the girl began the process of family adaptation. Although some months have passed, both María Luisa and Noemí still remember Amparo's first encounter with her three brothers, in the family home.
«In our house everything is spoken and we propose to our children the adoption of the girl with all naturalness. We told them that it seemed good that we would welcome a new sister in our family and everyone voted yes. Immediately they saw her wanted to take her and hug her. And Amparo ran from one side to another and the three, behind her, ”recalls smiling Naomi.
After that first contact with his brothers, the process of adaptation continued its course, gradually and naturally. At first, the girl spent a few hours in what would be her new home; then one night; then, a weekend ... The most important thing was that no one felt bad or forced and that, little by little, everyone was linked as a family.
«The girl did not speak, showed no interest in anything, had swallowing problems ... The prognosis they gave us was very bad and serious but when you have a child, it comes as it comes and you accept it and want as it is. Fortunately its evolution has been very good. Amparo has a promising future because tomorrow he can get where she wants. She is a fighter and you always have to leave the doors open and put no limits on anything, ”says Naomi convinced.
For the family, the arrival of Amparito was a real revolution. Aware of the child's special needs, they agreed that Carlos would stop working temporarily to facilitate his adaptation and focus on his care and that of his other three children.
Already as a member of the house, Amparo continues to maintain regular contact with his other two maternal references. Between them and Naomi there is a relationship of absolute respect; The three know that they all want the best for the girl.
«As an Adoption team, our mission is to preserve the alliance of all positive figures in the life of Amparo, in this case, of all their mothers. Since he was born he has had two mothers with whom he has established some fundamental emotional bonds for his first years of life and now he is part of a wonderful family, with an extraordinary ability to face their upbringing and offer everything they need to overcome day after day. day », emphasizes Servera.
Both Cati and Ana carry identical chains with a pendant in the shape of a puzzle piece, which has the name Amparo engraved. They were given by Naomi, who in turn sports another chain with the names of her four children: David, Marina, Miquel and Amparo. And it is that in the puzzle of life that little by little the girl is building, in one way or another, her three mothers will always be present: Cati, Ana and Naomi.
SEARCH FOR ORIGINS
«Amparito has been fortunate to have three moms who, above all, love her. Each of them will have a sense and continuity in their life. She can continue to maintain a relationship with the biological mother , with the welcoming mother and will always have her mother by her side. All of them are going to mean something important at every moment of his life and that is perfect for an adopted child, ”argues the psychologist.
Since 2007, the right of adopted persons to search and know their origins is legally recognized. An option that Amparo will not need to resort to thanks to the generosity and compression of both his birth mother and his adoptive family.
«Many adopted people want to know their origins, even from childhood. If you give an adopted child the opportunity to grow up knowing his story, knowing the reasons why his biological mother has not been able to take care of him and even allow him to put a face on him, you avoid the emergence of ghosts and fears of ignorance and it is very much Easier to elaborate your identity. Hopefully the majority of adoptions could be open, although for this there must be some very special circumstances that allow consolidating an integrative adoption model, in which the best interests of the child prevail above all ”, concludes María Luisa Servera.
Worth it
M. ANTONIA CANTALLOPS
«Journalist, today we have interviewed a family that wants to adopt Amparito. They have come because they read history in THE WORLD ».
It had only been a week since the publication of the report on the Esperanza program in which we made known the need to find adoptive families for Amparo and Gabriel, two children with autism spectrum disorder, when I received this message from María Luisa Servera, psychologist at Adoption team of the Institut Mallorquí d'Afers Socials.
Although there was still the process of valuation always essential to know if that family was ideal for the girl, it was amazing to feel how our journalistic work could contribute to Adoptions finding parents for Amparo. That, somehow, that story could mark the path that would unite, as it happened months later, to those parents with their daughter.
Today, in EL MUNDO we publish a report that is very special for us: that of the three moms for Amparo. A story full of generosity and hope, in which we have had the privilege of participating by contributing from this platform our small and modest grain of sand.
A story that has reached our soul and that we also feel a little ours. In it, its protagonists give us a true lesson of life, greatness and altruism, in addition to making it clear that in our society there are still people with a tenacity and an extraordinary sensitivity towards those who need it most. People who, without a doubt, have arrived to make this world a better place.
Thank you very much to all who once helped us to spread the report. To the three mothers of Amparo: thank you for having wanted to share with us and the readers of this newspaper your outcome. A happy ending that could not have been written without her: María Luisa Servera.
Serverita, thank you once again for trusting me again and giving me not only to be able to tell this beautiful story, but also to become part of it and imbue it with its magic. That you do in Adoptions every time you offer a second chance at life - and to find a family - to all those children who, like Amparo, have the right to feel children and loved ones by parents who know, want and can take care of them as they are deserve Just for this, dedicating yourself to journalism is worth it.
According to the criteria of The Trust Project
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