EUROPE 1 ACCOMPANES YOU
The complicity that one has with a friend can sometimes slip towards the sentiment in love. But to start a story with a person already known for a long time may also be destabilizing, as the relationship is redefined completely at all. At the microphone of Mélanie Gomez, in the show Sans Rendez-Vous , on Europe 1, the sexologist and psychoanalyst Catherine White assures: friendship and love are not incompatible.
The question of Capucine, 29
"My best friend and I have had a relationship since the age of 15. Today, he talks to me about love and desire, I think I can say the same, but I'm afraid of breaking our friendship by acting out with him, what do you think? "
Catherine Blanc's answer
"By definition, this will be the end of friendship in the sense that we enter into a love story, but not the end of friendship in the sense that we would necessarily lose something. other experiences, you can be both in love and friend.
Often, what we are afraid of in friendship stories that can turn into love stories is to see that love fail and thus lose what we both built, as 'friends. Even if a relationship fails at some point, it remains strong from what it has already enriched, including the attempt to love one another physically.
Can we easily go from friendship to love?
We can have someone close to us who is really a friend, and then one day to see him quite differently. One discovers it physically after having considered it without body and without sex, simply like a 'good buddy'. Suddenly, he appears to us as being sexed. If this feeling is reciprocal, it would be a pity to deprive oneself. This is the story of When Harry meets Sally .
However, it can be difficult to switch from one to the other, especially if you know each other for a long time. There are codes that have settled, friendly codes, and codes of love - unless it is from the beginning of a love friendship that is hidden by modesty and finally sees the day - , is not always easy. The relationship may struggle to find sexual momentum precisely because it is cluttered with friendly codes.
If this love story goes wrong, is it possible to go back?
We will never completely reverse. The memory of this failed adventure will remain. But we can have fun: we tried, we went to the end, and finally it did not work.
The situation is more delicate when one of the partners is really in love, and the other goes to the evidence of an impossibility of love or sex. He wants to put the distance back where the other would not want it anymore. "