TESTIMONIAL EUROPE 1
Christelle is in love with her psychologist, with whom she has been following therapy for almost a year. She does not dare tell him, for fear of compromising this therapy, and losing the "thin link" that unites them. She told her story at the microphone of Olivier Delacroix, in the Free Antenna, on Europe 1.
"It is a strong affection, which I describe as a feeling of love.I am aware that it is a subject that can lend to smile.To fall in love with his shrink is the cliché.But it is quite heavy to to wear is a real sorrow.
I talked to my friends, people who are very present to me. I do not denigrate them at all but I think that I was not really taken seriously. I think my friends are very, very, very afraid that I will take a big wall. While there is no wall to take, because I expect nothing. There is no other way out than a 'professional' relationship. But I think that my friends, knowing me very attached to this person, say to themselves 'Well, that's it, it will morfler'. But sometimes, I would like to be able to talk about it more seriously, as we could talk about another sentence.
It is true that I tend, often, to be a bit troublemaker and it serves me. And precisely, it is the irony of fate. The things that touch me, that pain me: I tend to let them pass in a tone of humor. So maybe at the beginning, actually, when I started talking to my friends, I had to make jokes. But there were still times when I said 'but thin, yes, I have a heart ache, I'm not good. I hurt because I love, I love someone and it will never succeed and it makes me sad.
Heard on europe1:
At first, I did not care, I just wanted and needed to be listened to, to be helped
It is not at all love at first sight. That's where I'm trying to argue. My feelings are sincere, it's not just a fad. No, when I met this therapist, I did not say, 'oh, what a beautiful woman' seeing her for the first time. At first, I did not care, I just wanted and need to be listened to, to be helped. It has been about four months. She helped me a lot. I did not see the woman at all. Well, it could have been a man, a giraffe, a goat, I do not care. And as this person sent me positive things, reassured me, I started to look at her differently. And there, I saw the woman. Yes, and that's when I started to be troubled. And here it is complicated.
Nevertheless, Christelle does not want to talk to her about it, for fear of putting an end, definitively, to their relationship.
I'll never do it, no. Because from a professional point of view, I think I would have to go to a colleague. She's a very good therapist for me. She is a good therapist who uses super therapy. And I would not want to lose that. And I do not want to lose the thin connection I have with this woman, because it's nice to see her, beyond the therapeutic side. It would mean no longer seeing her at all. So it is out of the question for me to talk about it. This is the irony of fate, because it is the person who would probably be the best person to understand.
Do not these feelings spoil the therapy?
On several occasions, I surprised myself. I already let go a little bit of what she was saying. Yet, I am in great control. I'm very careful what I do. I do not want her to be able to detect anything.
Thank God, we do not often address the theme of love, my relationships. Except that, very recently, the theme has arrived on the carpet. The last session was a little chaotic. Because here, I stammered, I tried to avoid some stuff, I took my feet in the carpet.
I am not a masochist. I think that even if it would break my heart, I would have to make the decision to stop.
Christelle is certain of this: she does not fit into the classic framework of "transfer".
"At first, I have no problems with my love, when I went to see her, and even today, it was not the subject of our interviews at all. deceives me completely, in all good faith, because I really think I have made the difference between the therapist and the woman.
I'm not doing any film at all, far from it. I have my feet on the ground. But there is still a connivance. We're joking a little together. Always without any familiarity, but there is still a small relationship between us. That's why I saw a little woman and not just the therapist. When I'm about to take a joke, we have a look, she said to me 'Well, I know, you'll say nonsense, tell me the opposite'. There is some connivance between us.
Three years ago, I saw a psychiatrist for almost the same problems. I will be very frank with you. This woman, she rents in a room, everyone turns around. Men, women, straight, giraffe. But never did I say to myself, 'Well, that woman ...'