Hikikomori and Developmental Disabilities Necessary for Families October 29, 23:58
“Parents are badly raised.”
It is a word that has been harassed by mothers in their 70s who have children who are lonely.
However, the background was related to developmental disabilities that were not noticed by both parents and themselves. What was needed was an understanding of the family.
(Network reporter reporter Akihiko Kanno)
An NPO “Flat Community” that supports hikikomori parties and their families.
Although it is a 15-minute drive from Ube Airport in Yamaguchi Prefecture, many local NPOs are now receiving consultations from all over the country.
The representative is Toshie Yamane, a former psychiatric nurse.
On this day, I was consulted by a mother in her 60s who had been withdrawn from the beginning.
“Daughter is naturally laid back, so I think I could get a job and get married if I could move a little faster.” (Mother)
Mr. Yamane repeatedly asked questions about her daughter's life since childhood, as she unraveled her mind, as she continued to talk as if she had been confused.
The things that emerged from the interaction with the mother were that the daughter took a long time to prepare for going out and that it was not good at prioritizing things, both of which have characteristics that are often seen in people with developmental disabilities It was to be.
“I don't make a diagnosis, but from my experience, I feel that about 80% of people with developmental disabilities or people in the gray zone who can't make a diagnosis will go up.” )
The first step of support is family understanding
People with developmental disabilities often have a strong sense of sensation or hypersensitivity such as hearing, which may not be understood by the family.
Yamane says that there are many people who have been unable to communicate well with others and have been isolated from the surroundings.
Therefore, the NPO is focusing on study sessions that help families deepen their understanding by focusing on the problems behind the causes of developmental disabilities.
At the study meeting, we identify what kind of response the parent caused to the behavior caused by the characteristics of developmental disabilities.
And we will think about how we should respond.
Furthermore, sharing such experiences with parents' groups and sharing experiences will enable them to take the right action when similar situations occur.
“I think we have only a direct chance of getting caught up, such as bullying. For example, even if the characteristics of developmental disabilities are in the background, we can't get there. I believe that understanding will lead to the next step. ”(Mr. Yamane)
How are parents raised?
There are parents who have improved their relationships with children through these study sessions. Mr. Nakano (a pseudonym) that his 47-year-old son has been withdrawn for many years.
My son was unable to attend school at junior high school, and he was in a state of continuous withdrawal.
“I thought it was natural to go to school, so I blamed my children very much, and I pulled them out forcibly and took them on a taxi. I later realized that it was. "
It was the surrounding language that afflicted Mr. Nakano.
“Relatives told me that my parents were n’t good at raising them, and sometimes I blamed myself.”
Developmental disability and diagnosis Understanding suffering
The turning point was the story of another family I heard at an NPO study session. As I listened to the story of a parent with a child with developmental disabilities, I realized that I had thought of myself and decided to have my son go to the hospital. That was five years ago.
Diagnosis is "pervasive developmental disorder". My son was 42 at the time.
“I was relieved to realize that the cause of the stumbling block was because of developmental disabilities. So, I was able to understand the children's suffering for the first time and to get close to them.” (Nakano )
The less I blame my son, as a result, conversations were gradually created and my life changed. My son is now able to work.
“I think the child was actually the hardest. I think it was bad that I couldn't understand the suffering.” (Mr. Nakano)
Stay connected with human relationships
I was able to hear the story from the people who were saved by the understanding of their parents and others. Mr. Nishikawa, 38 years old.
After graduating from high school, I got a job, but I stumbled on a relationship and had been involved for about 15 years. He said he had lost confidence in himself who couldn't work well.
“I thought it would n’t work because I was selfish, I thought it would n’t be needed by anyone.” (Mr. Nishikawa)
Changes born to mothers
Nishikawa was diagnosed when he was 30 years old. A few years later, my mother went to an NPO study session.
Mr. Nishikawa felt that her mother had little affection for herself and felt lonely. However, learning about developmental disabilities at a study session has changed her mother.
“I was worried about being discharged from the hospital where I was hospitalized, but at that time my mother said,“ It ’s okay, ”and hugged me. That was a big thing for me and I felt like my mother had changed. Then I think my mother started thinking about me. "
Confident understanding of family and surroundings
By starting to have a relationship of trust with her mother, she became able to connect with Mr. Yamane, a supporter whom her mother had trusted.
Mr. Nishikawa, who gradually became able to have contact with society, can now work at the workplace three days a week and can also participate in NPO gatherings.
The people I met there understood that they were able to regain their confidence.
“I became able to get involved with people and I felt that I could live in this world. And I learned about developmental disabilities, so I did n’t think I ’d be bad. I've become familiar. "(Mr. Nishikawa)
Developmental disabilities are individual
Mr. Yamane who has been supporting a lot of people so far. He points out that the future society is required to consider developmental disabilities as individuality.
“I think there is a prejudice against developmental disabilities, and I feel like I don't want to accept that I or my family works. I think that it is necessary for people who are attracted to connect with society to make it a society that can be demonstrated. ''
I will tell you more about the withdrawal and developmental disorder in “Close-up Hyundai +” (10 pm) on October 30th.