How does sadness help us to be happier?

Feelings of sadness paint a delicate expression on the face, making people around you immediately discover your grief.Grief is manifested by body posture and tone of voice that serves as a distress call or a mechanism for demanding social support.

Knowing how to deal with these basic feelings will improve the mood of others, as they will be good help of great value to them.

In a report in the Spanish newspaper El Pais, writer Andres Massa said it was easy to detect the symptoms of grief through language, in which case phrases such as "do not be sad" are the worst phrases that can be said to someone.

Sadness is good for our health
Isolation at home and refusing to meet anyone who helps the immune system regain strength. According to psychologist Christina Wood, "The moment of sadness is a very perfect opportunity to think about the possible mistakes a person has made and how he was responsible for what happened."

Sadness comes when a person loses his or her health or youth, situations that make us resort to looking at the good things we still have. If we face this situation with a positive mood, sadness may help us to be happier. A person who has not experienced a period of great sadness cannot feel as happy.

One has the right to be sad
If something is to be avoided, it is to tell a sad person what to do. It is a phrase that must be avoided "Do not be sad", because it is most harmful to him.

According to psychologist Christina Wood, "this phrase generates more pressure and tension in the person, because one has the right to grieve, and when told to say it reduces respect, which would be a nuisance and frustration and generate more despair." .

The reaction may be strong and unpleasant, and may lead to greater suffering. The implicit message, "Don't be sad," seems to mean that even though you have something to cause sadness, this is your fault. The power of words pushes towards unnecessary guilt.

It is convenient to understand everyone who says, "Don't be sad," because, according to the psychiatrist, "we don't want to see someone we love that hurts. If I see my daughter crying it will be painful for me, that's why I tell her not to be sad. In other cases, it is learning to accept what is normal and what will happen before urging people to be more positive. "

Learn from your childhood
If you want to learn how to treat yourself and others well, think of your childhood. Of course, you'll find situations like this in your memory, because you had a fight with your best friend, for example, and your parents can't think of anything other than telling you "you'll win more friends," not "don't be sad."

Wood recommends that you begin to normalize grief at home, because it is good to bring your grief to your children to help you, because it will teach them emotional intelligence.It is better to replace the words "Do not grieve" with a more detailed and effective strategy suitable for all ages.

Children should be allowed to express their feelings and what has happened to them, a task where hugs play an important role. It is helpful to show compassion for the person and make them feel that those around them understand them, even when they are unable to put themselves in their place.

It is important to make your child feel that you do not refuse his grief by telling him some personal stories, or by admitting that you are unable to understand his pain but that you should be on his side. Once you succeed, ask him what he intends to do and how he can help him, and the proposals should be in question.

Try changing your language
Humans speak so much of their nature, that even the most conservative and silent person in the world is never silent. Talk to the sad person with a low voice so that no one else can hear you. In the same way that you should empathize with others when you help, you have to empathize with yourself, a difficult task.

Those who seek perfection and are influenced by the unrealistic notion that they can reach an objective that does not exist in reality are those who have a closer relationship with sadness and have the ability to correct the harmful statements in their internal dialogue.

"A lot of people don't realize how to talk. It's a problem of education, because of the words our parents told us, or because of their personality: if your internal dialogue is full of requirements, sooner or later it will lead to sadness," Wood said.

Learn to change vocabulary
The need to change the vocabulary and replace "I must" with "I like" or "I prefer" with "I feel like", because it is different. Instead of saying I have to go to the gym because I gained more weight, it would be better to say, "I'm going to the gym because I want to take care of myself," the psychiatrist said.

This is what psychologists call positive self-instruction that makes a person happier, energetic and better physically. "We can all train ourselves to do this, but the first thing to be aware of is that many people don't realize how to talk and always compare themselves to others," she said, forgetting that no one is perfect.