The feminine pleasure is still full of mystery. Terms such as masturbation are not part of the daily language between friends or in family conversations - something that does happen with men -, and it grows up thinking that, in sexual relations, we must satisfy the couple leaving aside our pleasure without even knowing how to reach it.

Reality proves it ... This story begins with the gift of a vibrator and a publication about it on a social network. Within a few seconds, Lyona, a Catalan illustrator, had hundreds of messages on her screen with questions such as: "Do you masturbate?", "Do you think that if I have never had an orgasm I can have it?", "And can you Do you have a partner?

These types of questions, sent by his followers, left him stunned and led him to question the misinformation and stereotypes that exist among women around sex. The result is the book Sex-Oh! My sexual revolution (Ed. Random Comics), a compilation of vignettes and reflections that have a clear message: learn to fully enjoy sexuality without fear or prejudice.

"One reason why women don't have orgasms is because nobody has taught us to have them," Marta Puig explains in her pages, real name of this illustrator who, in her work, delves into the need to speak naturally of this practice and, above all, of "knowing our body and not feeling guilty of masturbating." In fact, according to a study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior only 65% ​​of straight women, and only 18% with penetration.

In line with this idea, sexologist Diana Fernández Saro , a member of the State Association of Sexology Professionals (AEPS), says that women have been programmed to suppress pleasure: «From girls we receive messages about how we expect them to Let's behave: 'Girls do not feel that way, cover yourself, do not touch yourself (the vulva or the clitoris)', limiting sexuality to the reproductive function, separating it from pleasure and framing our relationships in fear and penetration. Those that are unmarked are heavily penalized, qualifying them with labels ».

One reason why women don't have orgasms is because nobody has taught us to have them

Marta Puig

The sexologist and couple therapist of the Spanish Association of Specialists in Sexology (AES) Marina Castro thinks similar: that «the woman has been educated only for the danger of sex focused on protection, to avoid an unwanted pregnancy or illness and the responsibility that this does not happen rests with them, with which the woman does not see sex as a positive aspect in her life ». In his opinion, what should be done is "to have more knowledge about oneself, about one's own right to pleasure and how it works."

The first step is to meet us. "If you do not know how you are done, if you have not looked at yourself, maybe you do not even know where the clitoris is and you are touching where it does not touch," says Lyona, so he also advises to look at us with a mirror, meet and mark our Erogenous zones, accept as we are and be aware that each body has a "brutal" potential to have pleasure.

«We have been told that our partner has to give us pleasure, that doing it on our own is selfish. Changing this thinking and taking responsibility for our own pleasure improves both individual and couple experiences, ”says Fernández Saro.

You have to be creative and be encouraged to have a vibrator. And yes, it is compatible with a couple. The sexologist at the Plátanomelón erotic shop, Mónica Branni , points out that “we should not feel threatened by erotic toys or think that if the couple uses it, it is because you do not meet sexually speaking. On the contrary, complementing sexual relations as a couple with toys enhances complicity and can be a cause of greater pleasure for both.

And the pleasure is in the whole body. In the pages of Sex-Oh! You can read tips to get the best out of every inch of the skin, and even areas that we had never imagined as erogenous. "Once a boy licked my hamstring (the back of my knees) and I had an orgasm that surprised me greatly, which shows that there are nerve endings that are connected to the clitoris and that give a lot of pleasure," Lyona concludes.

The clitoris is the center of everything

The twentieth century began when Sigmund Freud claimed that women who enjoyed the clitoris were immature and neurotic. Until 1960, it was unknown that it was the center of female sexuality. Then, an investigation by William H. Masters and Virginia E. Johnson concluded that all women are potentially multi-orgasmic and that the woman is able to return to orgasm immediately after an orgasmic experience. And yet, today, not everyone gets it.

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