Beijing, September 9 (Zhongxin Net) -- Recently, the topic of "college students rubbing a banquet with 25 yuan is accused of being too little" has aroused heated discussions. "I want more than 100,1000 yuan for gifts for people I don't know here" "The seat may be 500 yuan, and 100 yuan is not enough"... Some netizens questioned this.
The Mid-Autumn Festival National Day holiday is coming, and it is the annual day when people get married, and wedding invitations are also coming as scheduled. Should I give it a gift? How much should I follow? What should I do if I can't get back the gift money that I went out? This "post-90s" and "post-00s" young people have something to say.
Photo by Wei Liang, reporter of China News Agency
"It's important to learn to say no"
Ten days before the November holiday, Yu Nuo (pseudonym) counted the wedding invitations she received and found that seven friends had invited her to the wedding. As a "post-00s" who have just joined the work, she feels helpless about the piles of invitations. She immediately posted a post on social platforms, with the title "8 friends get married during the 7-day National Day holiday, and the salary is directly hit on their card."
This post attracted many netizens with similar experiences to pour bitter water in the comment area, some ridiculed "November arrives, January is dry in vain", some complain that "I have to give gifts to colleagues just after joining the work", and some people are glad that "I have few good friends, so I don't need to give gifts".
Yu Nuo mentioned that as far as she is concerned, depending on the customs, but also on the distance, relatives with 2000,1000 yuan, friends with 200,<> yuan, and the relationship is ordinary and really cannot be shirked, <> yuan will be given.
In the past few days, Yu Nuo has been worried about whether to give gifts or not, "I don't want to give gifts to people with ordinary relationships, as for the relatively large amount of gift money I go out, it is all for the hearts of people close to me." Although "thin skin", in the face of the wedding invitations piled up during the November holiday, Yu Nuo felt that it was important to learn to refuse, and she decided to learn the rejection experience taught by netizens and push down a few invitations.
Zhou Xi (pseudonym) has similar ideas. Although he didn't really want to give gifts to people he didn't know, Zhou Xi still wrapped a 300 yuan red envelope according to local customs when his mother's friend's sister got married. She mentioned that the reason for the casual gift is to look at the relationship between the parents, if the relationship between the inviting person and the parents is not so close, the parents will not follow the gift, and she will not follow.
In Zhou Xi's view, giving gifts and money to each other is a way to maintain a continuous relationship, "Today you give me something, tomorrow I have to return it, essentially to maintain the connection between relatives, my parents' generation attaches more importance to this, they hope to achieve the confirmation and consolidation of kinship through equivalent exchange."
According to Zhou Xi's observation, compared to her elders, casual gifts are no longer so important to her and her peers. She believes that the way young people interact with each other has changed, so it is not necessary to be casual or stick to traditional wedding models.
"Witnessing happiness is more important than casual"
Although he is still in school, Han Han (pseudonym) has also talked to his parents about the topic of "whether to hold a wedding". She believes that holding weddings and receiving gifts is not only a traditional custom, but also an expectation of parents. "Everyone has to do a wedding, if you don't do it, you can't, or you don't want your parents to do it, because they want to take back the gift money that they went out before the wedding," Han Han said.
For Sunan (pseudonym), she hopes that the wedding will be an occasion for her friends to witness her happiness, rather than an opportunity to receive gifts. When she got married, Sunan invited good classmates and friends from junior high school to university. Sunan felt very happy with the arrival of her friends, she thought to herself, "As long as everyone comes."
At the wedding, Sunan received gift money from his parents, relatives and friends. She said that inviting these relatives and friends and receiving this part of the gift money are all based on the relationship of their parents, and these "are not under her control."
But Sunan didn't care about the amount of gift money she received, and what impressed her the most and liked was a gift from a good friend, and she saw her friend's intentions from this gift. "I don't even think the gift is important, just feel free. I hope that there will be no more gifts in the future, it is very troublesome to come and go, and I can't remember and don't like so many people's love. Sunan said.
For the upcoming wedding, Yu Nuo does not want to make a big deal, invite a group of people who are not acquainted, and do not expect to "return the book" to make up for the gift money that goes out with Eleven, and only wants to let good friends witness this important moment. She began to do her homework on social platforms, preparing to take a satisfactory set of wedding photos during the November holiday to leave a souvenir at the most beautiful age.
Expert: Young people should not follow the trend of wedding luxury
For wedding ceremonies, Gan Mantang, head of the Department of Sociology at the School of Humanities and Social Sciences of Fuzhou University, believes that this is a traditional custom and a way to promote interpersonal communication. At the same time, Gan Mantang also believes that "whether you don't give a gift or not, you should also look at the friendship, as an invitee, it is best not to invite people who do not have deep contacts with yourself to participate in the wedding, the wedding should be a ceremony witnessed by relatives and friends."
Gan Mantang pointed out that the wedding gift money has risen and become a burden for some young people, and one of the reasons for this phenomenon is the rising cost of weddings, "Take Fuzhou, in the past, a wedding table only cost 1000,4000 yuan, but now it costs 5000,<>-<>,<> yuan in the city." In essence, wedding gifts are not only to strengthen personal contacts, but also to support couples to hold weddings well and reduce their financial pressure, with the nature of "crowdfunding".
For the November holiday wedding, some young people "tighten their belts" with the phenomenon of gifts, Gan Mantang said that the number of gifts depends on their economic strength, and young people should not follow the luxury of weddings. "For example, now it is generally 500-600 yuan, then it does not have to be 1000,<> yuan, and it should not be compared with wedding gifts." Gan Mantang said. (End)