Gifts are important, but children are more concerned about the company of their parents. Photo by Li Bo, all-media reporter of Guangzhou Daily
"June 1st" International Children's Day is coming, many parents hope to give their children an unforgettable holiday, gifts naturally become the first choice of parents. The reporter interviewed a number of parents to explore what gifts this "June Day" parent prepared for their children, and through the colorful gifts, what kind of parenting views did parents reflect? The reporter also interviewed a number of child education experts and psychological experts to provide parents with "gift choice difficulties" with tips to choose gifts that are more suitable for their children's growth.
Text/Guangzhou Daily all-media reporter Yang Chaolu
Picking gifts: Fitting is hard but important
Last weekend, Mr. Wang had not had an easy time. In order to choose a favorite June Day gift for his daughter, Mr. Wang spent the whole weekend in major toy stores and shopping malls. "Although I usually buy toys for my children, it is difficult to choose a suitable gift during the holidays." Mr. Wang finally chose to give the child a children's microscope, so that the child can feel the diversity of organisms and explore the mysteries of cells in the microscopic and grand world of the microscope. "The child was very happy to see the microscope, held the supporting toy specimen for a long time, and took the initiative to explain it to me. I think this edutainment gift of 'June Day' is very suitable. ”
Due to work reasons, Ms. Wu can only accompany her children on weekends when she commutes between Guangzhou and Zhuhai every week. As early as last week, she chose gifts for her children: her 4-year-old daughter is a toy piano, and her 1-year-old son is a toy car. "The toy piano is what my daughter mentioned before, taking advantage of the holiday to fulfill her wishes. The son's gift came from noticing that he seemed to like cars all this time. ”
In the interview, some parents said that they give gifts to their children almost every day, so they do not deliberately create a festive atmosphere, and for their children, as long as they basically follow their hearts and are happy, it is every day to live "June Day".
In addition to physical gifts, many parents choose to "accompany" this gift. On May Day, Mr. Chen originally promised to take his children to Beijing, but his temporary job was put on hold. This "June Day" Mr. Chen plans to accompany his children to Beijing on weekends to see the Forbidden City tour of the Great Wall, "Children's Day, we want to leave a good memory for our children and let him have a happy childhood." ”
Mr. Zhong and his wife are a "Guangpiu couple", and their children in their hometown for the fifth year have been brought by their grandparents in their hometown, and they concentrate on making money in Guangzhou. Talking about the "June Day" gift for his children, Mr. Zhong said that he has been away all these years, except for his daughter's birthday and New Year's Eve, he rarely thinks of giving gifts to his children. "This year, I plan to bring my daughter to Guangzhou to play during the summer vacation and use companionship as a gift." Mr. Zhong revealed that they also plan to put down roots in Guangzhou so that their daughter can study and live in a larger city in the future. "I think this is also our 'June Day' gift to our daughter."
Behind the Gift: Changes in Parents' View of Parenting
A small gift is not only the embellishment of a child's beautiful childhood, but also the parents' hope for the happy growth of their children, and also contains the expectation of children's "flower growth". "This actually reflects that after the current social material conditions are greatly enriched, parents' views on parenting have changed, parents are paying more and more attention to the happy growth of children, and they are more enlightened and willing to work hard in the process of cultivating and educating children." Ha Yingmin, a family education expert in Guangzhou, told reporters that "gift selection difficulty" is also a manifestation of parents' attempts to show how to make their children feel loved through the medium of gifts.
"Children are very simple, although gifts are a small embellishment and small surprise in life, but what children care about most is that parents are willing to spend time with their children, parents hear the needs of children, pay attention to children's preferences or fulfill their commitments to children." Over the years, Ha Yingmin has interviewed many parents and children, and he said that in addition to ritual gifts, the gifts that children need most are parents to accompany their children to grow together. "Children will also enjoy it if parents can accompany their children to learn a new skill, or if they can experience something new with their children. Because behind these are the good memories and common growth of parents and children. ”
Gift Guide: Clear Needs + Love Matters
How to give a child a suitable gift? Wang Yuzhi, a family education instructor and national second-level psychological counselor, said that gifts are a medium for establishing relationships between others and themselves, and the process of giving by parents is actually a process for children to learn to care for others, understand others, and harvest friendship and happiness.
Wang Yuzhi introduced that when parents give gifts to their children, they can first start from the psychological needs of their children, and obtain the real needs of their children through communication and paying attention to their children's demands. Secondly, gifts do not have to be purchased ready-made, but can also be achieved by making them together, a process that allows children to understand the effort behind each gift, thereby inspiring gratitude in children. Finally, in the process of giving gifts, parents and children should learn to express blessings and gratitude to each other, so that children know how to cherish each other and tolerate each other more through the form of gifts.
The reporter learned that "June Day" is approaching, and some kindergartens have launched the "children's gift exchange" activity, allowing children to give gifts to each other, aiming to let them know how to share and be grateful. However, some parents are worried that giving gifts will deliberately create a festive atmosphere for their children and develop the bad habit of comparing children. Lu Xue, a national second-level psychological counselor, told reporters that in kindergarten, children will pursue the same status and rights as classmates, and if they refuse children's requests, it will cause children's rights and needs to be threatened, and it is also not conducive to children and parents to establish an attachment relationship, which will cause children to have conflicts that both want to be close to and want to resist with their parents. "Parents don't have to worry too much, in the process of giving gifts, through education, let children understand that gifts are also a way to express likes and gratitude, so as to establish correct values for children."