It seemed like an ordinary day, where everything settled and hung in the air. Xu Rongsheng "ran out of tricks" and decided to send his 15-year-old and visually impaired son Xu Guanglin back to a special education school to learn massage.

A year or two ago, Xu Guanglin was a "wizard" with high hopes from Go teachers. In 2016, he was discovered by a local Go teacher in Anshan, Liaoning Province. By groping on a specially made chessboard, he won all nine sets in November 2017 at the Liaoning Province Go Tournament, against all able-bodied people.

After making his mark in the competition, some Go players helped him, and Xu Guanglin accompanied his father to "go south" to Beijing to study. But after four bumpy years, Xu Rongsheng unfortunately suffered from a cerebral infarction, and the father and son returned to their hometown of Anshan. The son was left alone, less interested in playing chess, and his father no longer urged him to practice.

Once, discovering the child's Go talent, this ordinary family seemed to "win the lottery" and was very happy, but what the lottery can pay is only a distant prospect, and his success still needs a long time to train. In this process, Xu Rongsheng gradually became confused.

This is a story about carrying hope, and when a heavy hope "falls" on the head of an ordinary family, they will experience a long period of vertigo.

Burst into the jungle

Now, Xu Rongsheng is ashamed to talk about his original expectations, and in early 2018, when he first arrived in Beijing, he saw some propaganda posters mentioning the champion of the century, "two or three hundred thousand a game per game" - in some top Go tournaments, the champion can receive two or three hundred thousand in prize money. As if he saw a new door open, he said to his son, "You have won the championship, <>,<> is enough for us to live." ”

He imagined that his son would win the world championship, he would become the father of the champion, somewhat inferior, unable to speak, dragging down the champion. Just think about it once in a while, though. At the beginning, Xu Guanglin improved rapidly, maybe he couldn't win an opponent today, but he could win tomorrow, and he was happy to see it.

In their first few months in Beijing, they settled at a Go school on the outskirts of Beijing. Principal Xiao Xiaolan feels that Xu Guanglin's chess power is good, and it is very "not easy", especially by touching the special chess pieces to play, the surface of the white is smooth, there is a bulge on the top of the sunspot, others can understand the situation at a glance, this child has to touch more to understand. She rented a house in order to run a school, and directly allocated it to her father and son.

The blind chess board used by Xu Guanglin has a smooth surface of the white child and a bulge on the face of the black child. Unless otherwise noted, the pictures in this article were taken by surging news reporter Ge Mingning

She considered the future on his behalf very practically - because of his disability, Xu Guanglin may not be able to give people a big lesson in Go in the future, but he can take small lessons, he plays slowly, and the fee may only be lower. When she turns back, she can introduce a few students and send him to his debut.

Within a few months, Xu Guanglin rushed to the amateur fourth dan again, and the teacher who could compete with him on the chessboard became difficult to find. Xiao Xiaolan's school is for beginners, and some teachers can't teach, but invite people from the industry to temporarily come to one-on-one lessons, Xiao Xiaolan said: "It costs a few hundred yuan." ”

Xu Rongsheng only has a total of more than 10,000 yuan in savings, in order to accompany his children to learn chess, he has long quit his job, the expenses of the two going out, the old mother in her seventies took out a little from her retirement salary, and one of Xu Rongsheng's brothers subsidized a little. When I first arrived in Beijing, I was impressed by the high price of Beijing meat: "A box of meat also costs 20 yuan." "I only eat once a week, and the living expenses of the father and son are controlled at several hundred yuan a month.

In order to find "free" opponents, Xu Guanglin would go to the occasional amateur chess league in Beijing. In the Beijing Go circle, a chess player told Xu Rongsheng that he was going to Fujian to set up a chess academy and could equip Xu Guanglin with a regular Go teacher. Xu Rongsheng took his son with him.

After going to Fujian, for a month or two, the chess player did not implement Xu Guanglin's Go lessons, and only took the child to play with some local celebrities a few times. Xu Rongsheng understood, quarreled with the chess player, and returned to Anshan. The hometown is the old house where he lives with his mother and son, and the wiring of electric lights in the house hangs outside, drawing several arcs in the air. The son grew taller, passing by those lines, and the top of his head always touched, and the line swayed.

The wires in the home draw arcs in the air.

The son is the little "hope" that sprouted in Xu Rongsheng's life. At that time, Xu Guanglin was studying in a special education school, and a Go teacher offered to help him bring his children for a period of time after school ended at 3 p.m.; This was convenient for him, he was a bus driver, left work late, divorced, and was worried that he could not find someone to pick up his children. He once hired a "idle" person who was drinking at a neighbor's house to help pick him up, but the "idle" person drank too much and forgot a few times. Xu Guanglin quickly rose to prominence in the Go teacher's class.

While rejoicing, Xu Rongsheng was enveloped with a nameless anxiety, "I have a short temper. That's how he always explains. On the way to learn chess, my son sometimes lost his temper with him, knowing that this was not good, but it was difficult to change. This feeling also tormented him. Part of the "emergency" may have existed earlier - the son's eye disease began in kindergarten, and the son always jumped forward watching TV, and did not explain anything, Xu Rongsheng would hit him angrily.

Talking about this top-notch child, several teachers recalled his father's urgency for his son to show his head.

Xu Guanglin's first Go teacher, Chen Tianjun, remembers that Xu Rongsheng initially urged him to send his son to a local children's competition in Anshan. He stopped him, saying that the child had to go directly to the competition in Liaoning Province to show his face.

When she arrived in Beijing, Xiao Xiaolan also reminded all the way that children are the age to concentrate on learning, and some competitions outside are not at a high level, so don't spend energy to participate.

In 2021, Xu Guanglin followed professional chess player Gui Wenbo to learn chess, Gui Wenbo described that Go teaching focuses on practical battles, will participate in some events, he led the team over, as soon as the children lost, the accompanying parents exuded an atmosphere of chagrin, which also had Xu Rongsheng's share. Xu Guanglin lost a few sets, and he heard Xu Rongsheng next to him: "Why did you lose again?" Still can't learn? ”

After bold imagination

Xu Guanglin suffers from retinal detachment. When he was a child, he could still watch a little, he didn't like to watch cartoons, and the few films he was interested in were watched over and over, and the plot was recited backwards. He didn't like to do it very much, and the neighbor's grandmother gave a transformer-like thing, tinkered with it twice and threw it aside. He was once able to play with the neighbor's good-eyed children, but it seems that there is a girl who always complains to Xu Rongsheng, saying that Xu Guanglin can't see and "makes trouble." Xu Rongsheng stopped letting him out. There is no homework in special education school, and he stays after school.

Xu Rongsheng said that he had worked the night shift for a period of time, and the child was even more uncomfortable, and Xu Rongsheng tried to entrust him to a neighbor on the ground floor, and he would cry at night, and he must wait for his father to return.

At the beginning, his son quarreled and asked him to buy a blind chess board, Xu Rongsheng just wanted to buy a toy for his son, and specially asked someone to buy it back from Japan, spending more than a thousand yuan.

He found that Xu Guanglin could play against himself tirelessly.

At that time, Xu Rongsheng knew that the only way out for blind people was massage, and he thought about giving his son a façade and not letting him work for others; He felt that massage was "to serve people", but he couldn't think of any other way out. So, when he discovered that his son's life had other possibilities, he was very excited.

Xu Guanglin's first Go teacher, Chen Tianjun, is a person who wants to get things done. He is a native of Anshan, said that he has always liked chess, and he has never left his chess book since he was in high school, and later studied engineering, met the reform of Angang, and became a Go coach "going to the sea" to "cultivate the Go population".

Chen Tianjun enthusiastically plunged in for a few years to study how to teach Go. Xingtou, who was teaching chess, passed by the gate of the special education school one day, remembered the Japanese-style blind chess he had seen in the information, decided to teach it, and made some effort to get the principal of the special education school to accept him, and then groped for the path, first let the blind children touch the vertical line, diagonal, and feel the different spacing.

Chen Tianjun contacted the families of several disabled children with stronger comprehension and offered to teach them chess at no charge. Xu Rongsheng also said that if Chen Tianjun had not offered to be free: "We don't necessarily go." ”

Chen Tianjun took care of this child very much and wanted to help him enter the professional world of Go. At that time, he took Xu Guanglin to participate in the Liaoning Province Go Finalization Tournament, in order to prevent the opponent from falling too lightly, he asked Xu Guanglin to put his hands on both sides of the chess board, feel the vibration, and asked to video the whole game to prevent some people from secretly falling behind.

He once felt that Xu Guanglin had already walked on an avenue, and it was unlikely that there would be any mistakes.

Xu Guanglin emerged faster than the average amateur chess player, and he was third in the 2018 World Go Championship for the Visually Impaired Limited.

Xu Guanglin's most proud chess so far was a match in Japan, where the opponent made a mistake in the first half, allowing him to maintain his advantage all the way to the end. Although he later had some opportunities to play against masters, went to Ge Yuhong Go Dojo (hereinafter referred to as "Ge Dao"), and fought to the first echelon of the entire dojo, the memories are still anchored at that point.

But he has never been very good at being watched. The reporter asked, if Go was just a hobby rather than a competition, would it be better? He nodded.

In the second half of 2018, "Ge Dao" proposed a tuition waiver, so the father and son returned to Beijing from Anshan. "Ge Dao" is very suitable for Xu Guanglin, and there are some classmates of the same age as him. In addition to attending classes, the dojo plays against each other every day, and if you don't advance, you can retreat, and if you win, you can meet stronger opponents. Xu Guanglin goes up a lot, but there are still some excellent classmates, and he can't get down very well.

Xu Guanglin gradually found that "it is difficult to be a champion", he had a dream of becoming a champion, became an amateur at the age of ten, and he said to the TV camera that he "wants to be Ke Jie"; Xu Rongsheng was also intermittently disappointed. Once upon a time, Chen Tianjun told both the child and him that with Xu Guanglin's chess power, it was not so difficult to win a world championship in a disabled competition - this statement may have been deeply engraved in his mind.

Around 2019, Xu Rongsheng tried to enter the China Disabled Persons' Federation and wanted to ask his son if he could participate in the National Paralympic Games and whether there was any such project. The security guard did not let him in the door, so he made a phone call in the security room, registered his appeal, and let him go.

But by the beginning of 2021, the people of "Ge Dao" proposed that learning chess should start charging.

Xu Rongsheng once wanted to bargain with them, saying that he and his son could leave the dojo to find another place to live, and whether he could continue to let his son learn chess for free, but the dojo people refused. He felt very aggrieved, asked people to communicate, said that he could study again, and finally the research disappeared. He also tried to "relieve the siege" of the dojo, saying that the epidemic was difficult to start school at that time, and the dojo itself might be choked.

He gradually accepted to learn chess as if saving money with his children, saving a little is a little, and wherever the chess power rises, it is where; The rest are beyond his ability, and thinking about it over there will only make him sad. But he also said that as long as there are teachers who may accept him and there is a glimmer of hope, he must seize it vigorously.

Repeatedly interrupted chess games

Determined that "Ge Dao" would not take in his son again, Xu Rongsheng took the initiative to call Gui Wenbo, a professional chess player he met with his son in the competition, and asked if the other party could teach his son.

Gui Wenbo said that Xu Guanglin could be taught, not tuition.




































When Xu Guanglin followed Chen Tianjun to learn chess, a teacher Li from a special education school came to help, Chen Tianjun taught in class, and Teacher Li played chess for Xu Guanglin at the bottom. She modestly told the reporter that she only knew some common sense, but seeing Chen Tianjun put on a conventional way, "Sansan" and "Tianyuan" (the name of some points), she could instantly put it on Xu Guanglin.

In contrast, Xu Rongsheng said that he was "dizzy" when he saw Go and was not interested.

In fact, he is not interested in cooking, he learned it now after coming to Beijing. He couldn't bother to peruse the recipes on the Internet: "What a few grams, do you want this and that, which whole?" He thinks that stewed dishes are more convenient than stir-frying, with fewer steps, and sometimes he orders instant noodles, quick-frozen dumplings and the like.

In four years in Beijing, they haven't been to any sights. A long time ago, he took his son to Beijing to see his eyes and went to Wangfujing, which was also a very frustrating experience - food was too expensive.

Xu Rongsheng did not have many friends in Anshan, and after going to Beijing, he took his children to participate in the amateur league to meet some Go enthusiasts, and they would bring Xu Guanglin some food and find a way for his future. Xu Rongsheng will find someone to ask for help when he encounters some troubles in life, but generally does not chat. "We earn less money and have a poor level of education." He said bluntly.

He sometimes sighs and says that in his early years, he went to work honestly and did not think about doing a deal, even setting up a barbecue stall.

Mother Ren Fangmei laughed on the side: "Do business? You don't have that brain. At home, she casually verbally hit her son, saying that he would do nothing.

In order to let Xu Guanglin change the environment, Bao Yu had considered letting him live directly at home, but this child was too untalkative and afraid that he would not adapt well.

Playing blind chess, even with a special board as an aid, requires excellent memory. Bao Yu was fascinated by this, he described that when concentrating on local battles, he had to remember the situation in other parts firmly, put it in the depths of his mind, and transfer the war zone and then transfer it; It is like grasping the chasing light on the stage, shining to the protagonist for a while, and shining to the group performance for a while. Moreover, like the blind man in a martial arts novel, he may be more attractive than the protagonist, because he removed such important senses and played well, isn't it very accomplished, isn't it particularly "cool"?

Bao Yu admits that he thought quite simple at first, Xu Guanglin learned chess well, and some Go institutions both fancy his talent and do a good deed, and provide him with a job in the future. But later, Bao Yu took Xu Guanglin to do a live broadcast of Go, and found that he still performed blind chess alone with higher traffic - society is not so interested in a blind amateur chess player who has not yet grown up.

He still hopes that Xu Guanglin can rely on this happiness to bear the indifference of society. The priority is to let Xu Guanglin continue to practice chess. While chatting, Bao Yu said, "Let me give him a call." ”

He said to Xu Guanglin on the phone: "You are only fifteen or six years old this year, and there are still many years, you don't need to be too anxious." Bao encouraged him that although he is now in some trouble learning chess and participating in competitions, his life is very long, and he has to practice chess hard.

This time, Bao Yu still called Xu Rongsheng's phone according to his habit. The father and son on the other end of the phone just listened in silence. It was like kicking a ball in the night, Bao Yu's words did not know where to go, and there was no sound of landing.

"Lonely child, you are the grace of creation"

"Shall I send you another computer?" Bao Yu proposed on the phone.

This is the solution he came up with. Some of the better Go AI engines need to be charged, and Bao Yu has previously opened permissions. These big engines need a better graphics card, and it is better for him to have an idle computer, which is sent to Xu Guanglin.

What made Bao Yu distressed was that he couldn't guess the young man's thoughts. He believes that Xu Guanglin likes Go because he can get entangled in difficult dead and alive problems, and if he doesn't like it, it's hard to imagine how to do it; And although Xu Guanglin plays slowly, but in fact, he has a good sense of chess, this thing is difficult to say, like a talented player running with the ball, no need to make a effort, but like the ball laughing, entangled him, refusing to leave.

But regardless of the wins and losses and right and wrong in Go, Xu Guanglin seems to have little interest in the "play" part. Bao likes to create dead and alive problems - just like math lovers not only like to do problems, but also like to solve problems, creating a problem like building a maze is an art. He tried to create with Xu Guanglin, but Xu Guanglin did not respond very much. Bao also tried to tell him to treat artificial intelligence as a master who could be tricked, such as opening at any time and playing with it in a variety of ways. These suggestions were thrown out one by one and not adopted.

Bao Yu sighed, on the chessboard, everyone was afraid of danger, afraid of the unknown, perhaps especially the invisible people; But he thinks that for these people who have an inconvenient life, Go is a good supplement, so that when their range of motion is limited, their minds are not limited.

He also thought optimistically that maybe Xu Guanglin's life was more stable and his mentality was calm, but he could make a breakthrough.

Xu Rongsheng was using his brain to find a visible way out, for example, he thought about sending his child to a blind amateur chess player in Wuhan - Xu Guanglin's chess friend for many years, who was better than him at first, and then gradually failed him, but Xu Guanglin still liked to play chess with him. Chess players sometimes say in WeChat that "I can't play chess with you, I'm ready to give people a massage". Xu Rongsheng felt that maybe this chess friend would be good to his son and take care of him, but the problem was that his health was not good and he might not be able to go to Wuhan.

Some people have mentioned that Xu Guanglin can develop abroad in the future, and the level of foreign Go is low and he needs a teacher; Xu Rongsheng also remembered it in his heart, and silently denied it.

"He can't live without people." He couldn't imagine how the two of them would live abroad.

For Xu Rongsheng's various "cowardly formations", Xiao Xiaolan once said something heavy: "It's not that Guanglin can't do without you, it's that you can't do without Guanglin, you leave him, I don't know what to do." ”

Now, Xu Guanglin may be happy to stop in his hometown and return to his starting point. On March 3, he returned to the special education school away from five years, quietly as usual, without comment, and was picked up and told by his father. When a visually impaired student enters the classroom and says, "Good morning," the other person isn't sure where he is. He said, "What about the back. I couldn't hide the smile on my face anymore.

He hasn't seen these classmates since he left the special education school. Xu Rongsheng said that last year, blind chess friends in Wuhan gave him a mobile phone, and he set up a group of blind classmates. Xu Guanglin also really wants to have a class reunion. Xu Rongsheng ridiculed his son and said, "How can blind people gather, you eat a round table, can it be that a bunch of parents sit next to you to serve you dishes?" Or do you guys one donburi per person? ”

It was Xu Guanglin's mother who took him to massage city to play with a blind classmate who had graduated, and his mother helped him change a new battery for this mobile phone. She usually lives in another city and occasionally visits him.

The day before, the reporter asked Xu Guanglin, do you want to go back to Beijing to learn chess? He said, thinking. Between teachers and classmates, he missed his classmates more.

The next day, he came back from school, seemingly in a bad mood. The reporter asked him again: "Want to stay here?" ”

"Stay here." He said.

In addition to the classmates he met while learning Go, his good memories of Beijing also include the "Xinmu Cinema" that a young documentary director introduced to him, which is a public welfare project to "broadcast" movies for blind people. Xu Rongsheng said that his son likes to go very much and always goes. At the beginning of the movie, the narrator tells all the dragon logo and patch advertisements displayed on the screen. With your eyes closed, language opens the imagination and describes something grand: the wilderness, the herds of cattle and sheep in the wilderness, the blue sky. The people on the screen chase and fight, the light and shadow flicker fiercely, knowing that this is a long conflict. The grudge on the screen is not over.

Volunteer Shi Jia told reporters that the shy young viewer Xu Guanglin was one of the most active group friends in their viewing group, always urging them to send out new activity times. Xu Guanglin told reporters that he watched "Inception" three times. And Shi Jia said that offline activities will not show the same movie repeatedly. He must be watching movies with the mini program of a public welfare organization, watching it again and again.

In the cinema, Xu Guanglin met a very large guide dog, liked it very much, and played with it for a long time. Xu Guanglin likes small animals, used to live in Xiao Xiaolan's place, always played with her dog, and was two side herders with good tempers; Xu Rongsheng also likes dogs. However, Grandma Ren Fangmei refused to let her raise, saying that she could not take care of it.

They asked. Dog owners say there are too few guide dogs to queue up if needed. You have to wait for three years.

The Paper Reporter Ge Mingning Intern Guo Sihang Lin Junjun