The bride price "cools" and "reduces the burden" for love

Hold a group wedding that is "no more than a bride price than happiness", carry out a publicity on the theme of "resisting high-priced bride price and advocating a civilized new style", distribute proposals to newcomers, sign a letter of commitment to change customs and customs, and train rural women cadres to become "new matchmakers" who advocate frugal marriage... Recently, many places have issued initiatives and organized activities to resist high-priced bride price.

In the past five years, Document No. 5 of the Central Committee has repeatedly named "high-priced bride price", and from the central to the local level, actively promoted the construction of experimental areas for marriage custom reform, "low bride price" and "zero bride price" have quietly become the trend, high-priced bride price has been curbed to a certain extent, the burden of expenditure on the masses in marriage has been significantly reduced, and abandoning the bad custom of marriage is becoming the consensus and action of more people.

The high-priced "gift" changes the taste

After the Spring Festival this year, Mr. Wang, who came from the rural areas of the central region, was a little anxious: he was urged to marry by his family when he was over 30 years old.

"In my hometown, I am indeed an older youth, but now it is not so easy to find a partner and get married." Mr. Wang said frankly that in the local area, the man plans to get married, and generally has to prepare a house, a car, and a bride price. The amount of the bride price is roughly 20,<> yuan, and all of them add up to at least <>.<> million yuan.

Mr. Wang calculated an account: he earned more than 6000,<> yuan a month from part-time work and saved <>,<> or <>,<> yuan a year. If you only work on your own, it is difficult to save up for this fee in the short term.

Xiao Liu, who was born in a county town in the north, faces similar troubles as Mr. Wang. In Xiao Liu's hometown, the bride price is also around 20,<> yuan, but many local families have a psychology of comparison. "For the man, if anyone has a small bride price, it is very faceless; For the woman, the higher the bride price, the more powerful the girl she will marry. Xiao Wang said that it is based on this psychology that it is not uncommon for the bride price to exceed the "market".

For a long time, the bride price in some places remained high, and there was even a strange phenomenon that the more remote the mountainous area, the higher the bride price. In some areas, the sayings "thousands of purples, thousands of reds and one green" and "three pounds and three taels" are also popular: the former refers to 1,5 1000 yuan bills, 100,1 50 yuan bills and 100 <> yuan bill; The latter refers to a <> yuan bill of three pounds and three taels.

The high price of the bride price changes the taste of the "gift". "As a long-standing wedding etiquette in China's history, the bride price has a certain degree of rationality, but the 'high price' is obviously beyond people's ability to bear." Zhao Hao, a lecturer at the Department of Sociology of Southeast University, pointed out that the high-priced bride price is likely to make some rural families "poor due to marriage" and "return to poverty due to marriage", which in turn will lead to family disputes and intergenerational conflicts.

"It's a vulgarity, it's disrespectful to people, and it's inherently contrary to traditional weddings." Peng Lin, a professor at the School of Humanities of Tsinghua University, believes that the "gift" of "wedding" is to make people have respect for marriage and take marriage seriously. "Weddings are serious business, and the high price of the bride price dilutes this meaning."

Why is the high-priced bride price difficult to treat? Wu Haiying, vice president of the All-China Women's Federation, said that the primary problem lies in ideology, "Some people think that 'the bride price is a sign of a daughter's worth, and if the bride price is less, it will make people laugh.'" The data also supports this view. According to the survey, 54.2% of people believe that "good face and following the crowd" is the first reason for asking for a high bride price.

The "more men than women" of marriageable young people in rural areas further raised the bride price. Wei Sanzhong, branch secretary of Weijia Village, Lanfang Town, Gao'an City, Yichun City, Jiangxi Province, introduced that there are many girls who marry into the city, but few in the village. At present, about seventy percent of the marriageable young people in the village are young men, facing a certain problem of "difficulty in marrying a wife".

Wu Haiying pointed out that marriage agents such as "matchmakers" "take a cut" of the bride price also contributed to the increase in the amount of bride price. The reporter learned that in order to earn intermediary fees, some professional matchmakers encouraged the woman's parents to ask for "clothing purchase fees", "divorce money", "vegetable water money", etc., and took 10% or more from the high-priced bride price.

"Low" and "zero" should be promoted

Not long ago, the No. 2023 document of the Central Committee in 5 was released, which proposed to "solidly carry out special governance of prominent problems in key areas such as high-priced bride price and large-scale management". This is the fourth time in five years that the Central Document No. 4 has named a "high-priced bride price."

In Quannan County, Jiangxi Province, Lin Taijin, secretary of the party branch of Yushe Village, recently spread the news of the "zero bride price" for marriage, which moved many young people who were afraid of marriage late because of the high bride price.

"He has repeatedly said at the village customs change propaganda meeting that he supports the 'zero bride price', and this time he has set a good example for the villagers with practical actions!" The villagers said.

"My lover and I have been in love for two years, and we both believe that it is the greatest happiness to be able to live our little life together." Lin Taijin said.

"Parents want their children to be happy." Lin Taijin's mother-in-law said that marrying her daughter with a "zero bride price" is also to hope that the younger couple will not bear debts because of face, travel lightly, and create a happy and beautiful life with their own hands.

Speaking of the recent new style of marriage customs, Wang Ke and Wang Jing, villagers of Fucun, Xiangyuan County, Shanxi Province, have a deep experience. They were the first "zero bride price" couple in the village.

In 2017, due to his father's serious illness, Wang Ke's family spent all his savings and owed a foreign debt. When the couple was preparing to get married in 2019, it coincided with the county's vigorous promotion of changing customs.

"In the past, it was very common for women to ask for a bride price of more than 100,000 yuan." Wang Jing said, but now rural women, like men, have jobs and can earn money, and the good relationship between the two cannot be exchanged for a bride price. After marriage, the two went to the county to work hard, and now they not only paid off their debts, but also had a lot of savings.

In recent years, in accordance with the spirit of the central government, all localities have gradually become a new trend in the "high limit", "low bride price" and "zero bride price" of bride price, and the governance has achieved certain results.

In Hejian City, Hebei Province, from April 2021 to January this year, a total of 4,1 newlywries were registered in the city, of which "low bride price" and "zero bride price" accounted for 4726%, and the average cost of each marriage was 88,7 yuan to 15,<> yuan less than before;

In Dingxi City, Gansu Province, since June 2022, 6% of the dowry price of the dowry has been controlled within 70,5 yuan, with an average of 4,9 yuan, down 10.9% from before;

In Liangshan Yi Autonomous Prefecture, Sichuan Province, within nine months of the implementation of the regulations on changing customs and customs, 9 bride prices of more than 10,528 yuan were stopped, and the bride price was reduced from an average of 30,10 yuan to less than <>,<> yuan.

Ningling County, Henan Province advocates that the bride price should not be higher than 3,6 yuan; Jingyuan County, Ningxia, clearly does not exceed 1,3 yuan in bride price, and it is decreasing year by year; Yangzhuang Town, Yishui County, Shandong Province, advocates no or less bride price, generally not exceeding <>,<> yuan; Pingxiang City, Jiangxi Province recommends that the bride price not exceed <>,<> yuan...

Many places also carry out various forms of activities to "cool" the high-priced bride price and "reduce the burden" of love. Qi County, Henan Province has held new fashion group weddings for many years. A couple who have participated in a group wedding said: "Our marriage does not have the trouble of high-priced bride price, nor the tedious details, some are white heads and thin water for the rest of their lives." ”

Dongtai City, Jiangsu Province, has firmly grasped key groups of people, established three systems: premarital honest government talks, filing reports on handling marriage matters, and investigating and handling unhealthy practices in handling marriage matters in violation of regulations, and guiding party-member cadres to take the lead in making weddings new, simple, and honest.

Build a civilized rural style together

Zhang Pan, a villager in Dahuaishu Village, Jintai District, Baoji City, Shaanxi Province, still remembers that he was worried about the bride price. According to custom, the amount of the bride price is generally between 12,15 yuan and 6,<> yuan. Later, thanks to the mediation and persuasion of the local red and white council, the bride price was reduced to <>,<> yuan.

The continuous implementation of the policy has curbed high-priced bride price in some areas, and the cost of marriage has also been greatly reduced, but high-priced bride price still exists to varying degrees in some places. How to establish a long-term mechanism to control high-priced bride price?

Jin Xiaoyi, a professor at the School of Public Policy and Management of Xi'an Jiaotong University, believes that the governance of high-priced bride price should be comprehensive, starting from the prescribed policies of wedding banquets and bride price, and also working hard to promote family harmony, protect women's rights and interests, and establish a correct concept of struggle and love.

Wu Haiying said that it is necessary to extensively carry out publicity and education on changing customs and customs, cultivate a group of family models around the masses who consciously resist high-priced bride price, and vigorously publicize the concept of marriage and love of "happiness without bride price" and "common struggle after marriage", so as to form a strong public opinion atmosphere for resisting high-priced bride price. She also suggested the development of specific binding standards and encouraged the introduction of relevant local regulations where conditions permit.

"The situation in the countryside is very complex and cannot be generalized, and extensive and in-depth research is needed." Zhao Hao said that the "sky-high bride price" is either related to the imbalance of the ratio of men and women in the village, or is closely related to the elderly, "We can only really solve it if we find the specific reasons for the prevalence of high-priced bride price in each region."

"In economically underdeveloped areas, there are relatively few economic resources, and the bride price plays multiple roles such as family economic security." Ma Chunhua, an associate researcher at the Institute of Sociology of the Chinese Academy of Social Sciences, pointed out that it is necessary to pay attention to the economic logic behind the high-priced bride price, and suggested that the gap between urban and rural areas should be further narrowed, and the equalization of public services such as pension, employment and medical and health care should be promoted to reduce the economic burden of families.

"It is necessary to optimize service measures and improve relevant incentive mechanisms." Wu Haiying suggested: build a public welfare matchmaking platform to provide free matchmaking services for unmarried men and women; Improve the incentive mechanism for wedding and new style courtesy, and provide warm-hearted support services such as group weddings, free physical examinations, and guaranteed loans for those with "low bride price" and "zero bride price"; Support village committees to continue to make good use of governance methods such as "red and black lists" and "points supermarkets" to stimulate villagers to participate in the endogenous motivation of rural style and civilization construction.

"Controlling high-priced bride price requires the return of the moral spirit of traditional weddings in China." Peng Lin believes that the prevalence of high-priced bride price reflects the lack of spiritual culture in some families. He believes that with the comprehensive advancement of the rural revitalization strategy and people's greater awareness and understanding of China's excellent marriage and family culture, the bad customs of marriage such as high-priced bride price will eventually be comprehensively and effectively curbed. (People's Daily Overseas Edition, Shi Zhipeng)