Mª José, the woman who became a taxi driver to take care of her son: "In the cleaning company I was running, I did not see him and he went through a rebellious stage"

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María José is 32 years old and has a five-year-old son who raises without a father. His blood family is in Chile, although here he has a chosen one who does not lag behind at all. One Tuesday at nine o'clock at night he is driving a taxi, and we ask him how he manages with the child. "He is with the Yayos," he says, referring to those who act as such. It is already known that conciliation is grandparents.

Before I worked in a cleaning contract in the City of Arganda. Fair pay and changing schedules: "I was on a run. Maybe they would put me seven hours, but in the afternoon. I couldn't see my son, who has gone through a bit of a rebellious stage." For him, he says, he risked changing and for two weeks he feels that he has won the lottery: "I have very good conditions and I can organize. I work from 7 in the morning and at 5 I pick up the child from school. Today I had tutoring with his teacher and that's why I'm making up the day at this time," he explains.

Yesterday was the National Day of Conciliation and Co-responsibility, an issue that brings millions of families in Spain upside down. According to a study by Infojobs, from last year to this year, the data has worsened. 35% of the employed population claims to have facilities to reconcile, seven points less than the previous year. Flexible working hours, teleworking and intensive working hours, they say, are the reasons for this ease.

Marisa Cruzado, one of the promoters of the SFS Awards, which recognize the health care, flexibility and sustainability of companies and which are now celebrating their 19th edition, explains that teleworking is transforming the work model in its times and spaces: "The lines between personal and professional life are blurring and the levels of absenteeism and requests for reduced working hours are being reduced", Says. "Now, it's easier to go to the doctor with the kids or pick them up from school, and the flexibility of working at home means that it no longer compensates for losing salary with a reduction for childcare."

However, teleworking, he continues, has brought other consequences, such as the elimination of flexible remuneration measures, such as restaurant checks, or the physiotherapy service in the office that some companies have.

Reconcile without grandparents, how?

Carolina is a journalist, a profession without hours and not very compatible to raise children. When hers were young, she and her husband juggled because neither had grandparents nearby. Horror. "For us, the neighbors and the parents of the school have been fundamental. I asked them for favors and I did them too. So we were able to pull without kangaroos." And, beware, thanks also to the fact that she worked as a freelancer from home for a while: "I got up before anyone else and went to bed very late to connect when they were asleep." Now it is her husband who takes care of the children and she who goes to a newsroom every day.

It is not the most frequent. Conciliation continues to be mostly a women's issue and, in fact, on many occasions, it is incorporated into feminist demands, assuming de facto that it is their responsibility. According to the Ministry of Inclusion, Social Security and Migration, in 2022 70% of family care leave was requested by women. And, again according to the Infojobs study, they are the ones who most demand measures to reconcile their companies: reduced working hours (53% compared to 2% of men) and leave (40% 'female' versus 2% 'male').

The consequences are, according to 'The cost of conciliation 2022', prepared by the association Malas Madres, very eloquent: 57% of women with children claim to have assumed a labor cost, either economic (salary reduction for adjusting their working day) or professional, by renouncing to assume certain responsibilities.

3% of men take 16 weeks of paternity leave

Still from 'What to expect when you're waiting'.

Since 2021, paternity and maternity leave lasts the same, 16 weeks. Of these, six are compulsory and after birth. The report reveals that more men do not know the duration of this leave and that, eye, compared to 42% of women who take the four months, only 3% of men do.

There are sectors more complicated than others to reconcile. David is a civil guard and works in a Citizen Security post. With relatives four hours away, he doesn't have it easy: "It's practically impossible. I depend totally on my wife to be able to take my daughter to the nursery."

The fundamental problem, he says, is that "there are no fixed work shifts, nor work cadences, as in the National Police or other emergency services. Even if you ask for a reduced working day, they don't guarantee you a schedule either." "We know the shifts we are going to have the following month with only one week in advance, but there are changes at any time (mornings in the afternoon or evenings), even three days in advance, so you can not make fixed plans to reconcile," he complains.

The 'terror' of any parent is that the child wakes up with a fever or that, horror, the phone rings and is from school. For David and his wife there is no plan B: "The solution to stay at home would have to be to ask for leave. Either that or my wife stays at home," because although she has six days of private business, "you have to request them 72 hours in advance." "So if the girl has a bad night or has a fever in the nursery there is no option," he concludes.

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• Articles Mar Muñiz