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Few pickles are as bloody as those that happen in the trenches of breeding. This exaggeration wants to force a little smile and pull humor, a necessary antidote to cool the debates that are generated when a baby comes into the world (even before).

No one doubts about the care that a child needs, but it is the 'how' they should be dispensed that generates discrepancies. The hot spots, of course, are childbirth and epidural, breastfeeding, sleep, transportation... Whatever a mother does about it (especially them), there is always someone on the prowl ready to give an opinion, that is, to qualify, that is, to censor. When you least expect it, there it is: a review fresh out of the oven.

Parenting models have been changing over time and in recent years the so-called 'attachment parenting' or 'respectful' has acquired special predicament, on which the journalist, mother and writer specialized in parenting issuesEva Millet (Barcelona, 1968) has just published a critic 'Mammalian Mothers' (Plataforma Editorial). She wants to debunk myths about this philosophy that, she says, is becoming the pattern of motherhood to follow.

He is criticizing the model of attachment parenting. What a trickle is going to fall. It is not the first time they tell me and for something it will be. But I think it's a necessary book and I hope the grandmothers buy it and give it to their daughters. All I've done is debunk myths about it based on exhaustive documentation. Attachment is natural and spontaneous: it is not achieved by being attached to the baby all day nor are there tricks to achieve it. It is not necessary to breastfeed, or coalesce, or respond immediately to all their needs, or carry to achieve it. Attachment parenting is a lifestyle with no scientific basis. The problem is that this current has appropriated the term 'attachment'. How has this appropriation occurred? The attachment theory is from psychologist John Bowlby and holds that an emotional attachment should be established during the first six months of a baby's life with a caregiver. But then came other figures, such as pediatrician William Sears, who transformed this theory into attachment parenting, a way of life without more and that has no scientific basis. Also involved were the obstetrician Grantly Dick-Read, champion of painless childbirth, and the architects of the influential Milk League: seven housewives from Illinois, fervent Christians, who between them numbered more than fifty children. If those 'checks' of, portage, co-sleeping, etc. are not met, is attachment at risk? Science says no. Attachment is natural and spontaneous. It should not be 'manufactured'. Children are attached to their mothers even in cases of maternal abuse. And when they are teenagers, for example, they will be up to your bun anyway, even if you have fulfilled all that. Secure attachment is achieved by responding to needs in a sensible, affective and appropriate way. There is a lot of confusion. This kind of parenting, there will be nothing wrong either, right? Whoever does well, great, but generates a lot of guilt to those who do not. That is the problem, which is being erected in the hegemonic model in media and social networks, very crushing, and what I do is mark a red line. Not because you don't breastfeed you are a worse mother. I am not at all against breastfeeding, but against the obligation to breastfeed. And the same with the rest. Always the fault... At first, in addition, it is a very delicate moment because you are very vulnerable and you should not feel guilty about giving birth with an epidural, if breastfeeding does not work or because, simply, you do not want to be with the baby all day. If mothers are fine, babies will be fine. Your child will love you regardless of how you gave birth, fed, and transported. I address those mothers who are insecure or feel guilty. Precisely, one of the chapters of the book is called 'The mothers... Are they okay? This model is within the so-called 'intensive motherhood', described by Sharon Hays [American sociologist]. In it, all the time and energy is invested in raising the child, which is the absolute center and the role of the father is minimal. The data says that the pressures of 'natural', added to not sleeping, being hooked on the baby, feeling guilty if the boob does not work, etc., cause stress, dissatisfaction and guilt. There are studies that link not parenting but this style itself to mental health problems, such as depression. She is also the author of the successful 'Hiperpaternidad' (Pataforma Editorial, 2016), a book in whichHe had the profile of a type of father who is obsessively involved in his role "to the point of exhaustion". I was one of the first to talk about hyperparents and intensive parenting. This model is tinged as alternative, but it is a form of hypermaternity that gives a preponderant role to the mother. It promises you better, special, healthier, kinder, more attached children to you... What they do is compare between children, but all children are special to their parents. On this issue (as on others) feminism is divided. The 'attachment parenting' movement is anti-feminist. It is against the feminism of equality, the classic, and they denounce that this is a way of sending women home, home. One of them was the philosopher Elisabeth Badinter, who considered it a new form of slavery. I am in favour of parity and involving parents. Not all the responsibility for parenting should be on the mothers. It is criticized that paternity leave cannot be transferred to mothers. I think it's fantastic that they have 16 weeks. And I also think the casualties should be longer. Every woman and every couple has to decide what they want to do. There are women who want to dedicate themselves exclusively to their children and if it feels good, go ahead. It also debunks myths about sleep. Another melon. One of the pillars of 'attachment parenting' is respected sleep and the demonization of sleep training methods. They say they are harmful to them, but there is scientific evidence that denies it, because sleep is not only beneficial for the well-being of families, but for them. But this lifestyle prescribes something else. Yes, boob, co-sleeping and patience until the child decides to sleep. It is very strong. For them the child is at the center and the rest is almost child abuse. I have done what I could, but I have been clear about some things such as that in my family we were going to sleep. I followed the Estivill method, which was a book that was even given away. They called me a Nazi, but my children are healthy and don't hate me. Now no one recognizes that he does. The book is still selling, but now it is taboo and is bought in secret. Sleep is vital. It is a human right. It makes me funny that there is zero tolerance with a sleep coach but no empathy for women who have not slept for four or six years. That is torture.What myth has struck you down the most? The benefits of breastfeeding. There is a disconnect between the data and what is created. There is a tremendous demonization of the bottle, a fundamental instrument for the liberation of women and that has brought many children forward. One of the things that is said is that bottle-fed babies will be obese and less intelligent people. So much so that I collect a testimony from a woman who felt, when giving a bottle to her daughter, that she gave her bleach. You contradict studies linking formula to those 'effects'. The problem is that these reports are not made randomly. In the first world, breastfeeding is more typical of the middle and upper classes, so it is logical that they have better school and health indicators. There are many campaigns for activism, but it is not as fundamental as it is believed. The worst of all this is the confrontation between mothers.

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