"No regrets, we will divorce after the New Year's Eve dinner"
People who choose to get divorced after the Spring Festival
Divorce together after the year?
Long queues at the divorce offices of civil affairs bureaus in many places?
Recently, a number of videos circulated on the Internet show that the divorce registration offices of civil affairs bureaus in some areas are "exploding" after the Spring Festival, and there are even rumors that divorce teams in some areas line up at the gate of civil affairs bureaus.
At present, some of the above videos have been officially refuted.
The reporter also learned from the marriage registries of civil affairs bureaus in many places that due to the lack of business during the Chinese New Year, the number of divorces in some areas has indeed increased after the new year, but there is no "long queue". No rise, even more marriages than divorces...
The gradual increase in the divorce rate in the past 20 years is no longer a new thing. The reporter found that from 2003 to 2019, the crude divorce rate (the ratio of the annual number of divorces to the total population, usually expressed in per thousand) in China has risen sharply. Registration logarithms nearly quadrupled during this period.
Although it is not really a trend to choose to divorce after the year, some people in the team that handles divorce after the year admit frankly that the reason for making an appointment for divorce after the year is to have a New Year’s Eve dinner with the children and both parents, and not to stay behind. Last regret.
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Is there a wave of divorce after the festival?
The Civil Affairs Bureau of many places responded:
The number of divorces has not risen sharply
On January 28, a man in Fuyang, Anhui Province posted a video circulating on the Internet, showing that only two couples got married in the Civil Affairs Bureau of Yingshang County, Fuyang, but the divorce line was lined up outside the Civil Affairs Bureau.
For a while, the topic of divorce after the year sparked heated discussions on the Internet.
But soon, the Civil Affairs Bureau of Yingshang County issued a rumor refuting statement on January 30, calling the content of the short video a rumor.
The statement explained that the content of the video was shot at the marriage registration window on the first floor, and the people queuing up were all people who went through marriage registration, while the divorce registration window was on the second floor.
Coincidentally, another netizen also recently released a video of a long queue at the entrance of the divorce room of the Civil Affairs Bureau of Poyang County, Shangrao, Jiangxi Province.
According to this, a staff member of the Civil Affairs Bureau of Shangrao, Jiangxi Province told reporters that the specific situation in the video is being verified, but judging from the marriage registration data of the Civil Affairs Bureau, the divorce business volume is not much different from that of a year ago.
Is the divorce peak after the year real?
The reporter learned about the relevant situation from the marriage registration offices of civil affairs bureaus in many places.
On the whole, several Civil Affairs Bureau staff said: "The number of people going through marriages and divorces has indeed increased after the year, but the overall situation is still in a stable period."
On January 31, a staff member of the Marriage Registration Office of the Civil Affairs Bureau of a certain district in Jinan City told the reporter: "Based on the working hours of that morning, there were 5 couples applying for divorce and 3 couples applying for marriage. It is in a normal state, and there is no so-called peak period of marriage and divorce.”
However, Ms. Wu, a citizen of Yangzhou, told the reporter: "I went through the divorce procedures on the third day after the new year. There was indeed a queue, but there was no long queue." The previous appointment date and the number of people were full, and the appointment happened to be the third day after the year.
Ms. Wu told reporters that she went to the local Civil Affairs Bureau to go through the divorce procedures around 10:00 am that day, and the queuing time did not exceed 1 hour.
"There may be queues because there are no business operations during the Chinese New Year, so they are all handled after the new year, and the number of people will naturally increase."
An operator at the Marriage Registration Office of the Civil Affairs Bureau of a district in Hangzhou also gave the same answer.
"Although there are no recent detailed statistics, the number of divorces and marriages will generally increase after the new year." The operator explained that this is because the Civil Affairs Bureau does not handle business during the Chinese New Year, resulting in a backlog of marriage and divorce applications.
This is a normal phenomenon, there is no obvious sharp increase, and it is still in a stable period.
In addition, the reporter also called multiple marriage registries in Haidian District, Beijing, and Heping District, Tianjin. The staff in the above-mentioned areas all said that there was no significant increase in the number of people going through divorce after the festival.
Among them, the Zhengzhou Civil Affairs Bureau in Henan Province pointed out that the number of divorce applications in the Civil Affairs Bureau did not increase sharply after the year, but the number of people who came to get married increased a lot.
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Practitioners in the marriage service industry:
Which house to go to for the New Year, how to share housework, etc.
adult divorce pusher
Although it is a coincidence that Ms. Wu filed for divorce after the year.
But there are also some people who deliberately choose to go through divorce procedures after the end of the year in order to have the last reunion dinner.
"We originally negotiated to divorce at the end of December in 2022, but we wanted to take the children to have the last reunion dinner on both sides, so we decided on the date of divorce after the next year."
Ms. Liang, 39 years old, went through divorce procedures in Wuxi on the afternoon of January 31.
She told reporters that she finished the process that morning, and there was no long queue.
But when she talked about her divorce, Ms. Liang still choked up.
Ms. Liang, who has been married for nearly 10 years, has a daughter with her ex-husband: "Although the child is only 6 years old, she already knows the meaning of divorce and behaves very sad." Although the child was finally raised by Ms. Ms. Liang also saw it.
In order to make up for the lack of children and explain to both parents face to face, Ms. Liang finally agreed with her ex-husband to choose the date of divorce in the next year.
During the Chinese New Year, Ms. Liang and her ex-husband took their daughters to have reunion dinners at her husband's house and her mother's house respectively, and expressed their gratitude to their parents.
In Ms. Liang's opinion: "There is no deep hatred between our husband and wife when we go to divorce, it's just a disagreement." And this last reunion dinner was also Ms. Liang's unwillingness to leave regrets for herself and her family.
"Actually, the number of people who consult for divorce during the Chinese New Year and apply for divorce after the year will indeed increase." Mr. Huang, the head of a marriage rescue and service center, said in an interview with reporters that since the establishment of his company in the past three years , he can clearly feel that the company's business volume is relatively large at the end of each year and the beginning of the year.
According to Mr. Huang, the marriage rescue and service center he runs includes helping couples reshape their marriage and solve various problems encountered in marriage.
"Judging from the cases we have encountered, problems during the Chinese New Year, especially when it comes to where to spend the New Year, getting along with the elders during the Chinese New Year, sharing housework during the Spring Festival, etc., can all become the driving force behind the breakdown of marriages."
In Mr. Huang's memory, a man once proposed that he wanted to take his wife back to his in-law's house in the village to celebrate the New Year. During the Chinese New Year, his wife had to undertake a lot of housework, and finally his wife thought about divorce.
According to Mr. Huang, due to the customs of his hometown, the man had brought his wife back to his in-laws’ home many times for the New Year’s Eve, and he could not return to his natal home until the second day of the New Year’s Day.
And this also caused dissatisfaction with his wife for many years.
In addition, the family banquets during the Chinese New Year are also taken care of by the wife and mother-in-law. Over time, the wife has complaints.
Under Mr. Huang's persuasion, the man's marriage did not break down in the end.
However, there are also some couples who failed to get together due to various complicated things during the Spring Festival. Even after the divorce cooling-off period, they finally chose to divorce after the Chinese New Year.
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Sociology Specialist:
avoid impulsive divorce
Relevant social services need to be institutionalized
The rising divorce rate is no longer a new topic.
Since 2003, the divorce rate in my country has been on the rise.
The reporter combed through the rough divorce rate data released by the National Bureau of Statistics in the past 10 years and found that from 2003 to 2019, the national divorce rate has increased significantly, but since 2020, the divorce rate has dropped significantly.
Statistics over the years show that in 2003, the national divorce registration reached 1.33 million couples, and the crude divorce rate was 1.05‰, and has been on the rise since then; by 2016, the divorce registration had risen to 4,158,200 couples, and the national crude divorce rate had reached above 3.00‰ for the first time; until In 2019, divorce registrations reached 4.7006 million couples, and the national crude divorce rate rose to 3.36‰, the highest divorce rate in the past 10 years.
From 2003 to 2019, why did my country's divorce rate continue to rise in the past 16 years?
Wen Jun, dean and professor of the School of Social Development at East China Normal University, told reporters that there are several reasons behind this.
First, from a macro perspective, due to the accelerated pace of social change and transformation, which has impacted on the traditional division of labor between husband and wife and family structure, more and more women are on the job, their social status is improved, and their economic subordination is reduced. The family stability in the past is also broken immediately, which increases the possibility of divorce to a certain extent;
Second, from a micro perspective, the liberation of people's minds brought about by social progress has changed their understanding of traditional marriage. Divorce is no longer considered a bad behavior, and more people dare to pursue personal happiness. Marriage says no, thus increasing the likelihood of divorce.
In Wen Jun's view, behind the high divorce rate, it also reflects the crux of my country's social organization, interpersonal mutual assistance network construction, and community public service level.
"Especially the impulsive divorce of young people, in addition to administrative intervention, we still lack effective social services to resolve it, and the excellent solutions provided by social organizations and even emotional counseling and counseling are still insufficient.
However, the reporter also noticed that after 2019, the divorce rate in my country has gradually gone downhill.
By 2020, divorce registrations will drop from over 4.7 million to 4.339 million, and the crude divorce rate will drop to 3.09‰; in 2021, it will drop to 2.8393 million, and the crude divorce rate will drop to 2.01‰.
In this regard, in Wen Jun's view, the decline in divorce data after 2019 is in line with the law of social development.
"Our country's divorce rate has fallen after 16 years of rising, indicating that it has reached its peak and has begun to transition to a stable state." In addition, Wen Jun said that the setting of the divorce cooling-off period has also contributed to the decline in the divorce rate in recent years to a certain extent. soil".
In Wen Jun’s view, in order to avoid the phenomenon of impulsive divorce after the end of the year, socialized services in various regions should keep up, and gradually institutionalize community emotional mobilization, marriage counseling, community adjustment, and psychological and emotional construction. building.
Chengdu Commercial Daily-Red Star News reporter Yang Yuqi Wu Yang