China News Agency, Beijing, January 25th: When the Spring Festival becomes a "marriage reminder festival", how will young people returning home spend it?
Author Ma Shuisha Hao Lingyu
"We are urged to marry every festive season", and the Spring Festival is the "peak season" for marriage urges.
For Mr. Chen, who has been working in Beijing for five years, parents urging marriage is a "repertoire" every time he returns to his hometown for the New Year.
"In the past two years, I was worried about the epidemic and didn't go home for the New Year. It was too late for my family to urge the marriage. After returning home this year, the parents not only urged themselves, but also mobilized relatives from all walks of life to take turns. They especially like to bring in married peers. At the dinner table, the meaning of "precepts and deeds" and "marriage has many advantages" is obvious."
In the Spring Festival of the Year of the Rabbit after the adjustment of the epidemic prevention and control policy, many young people returned to their hometowns to reunite with their families. At the same time, they also felt more anxious about being urged to marry face to face. The Spring Festival has become a "marriage reminder festival" for many young people.
"The pressure to urge marriage is the greatest during the Chinese New Year. When I visited relatives on the afternoon of the second day of the Chinese New Year, I was 'prompted' at least three times." Ms. Xu, 25, told reporters.
During the Spring Festival, the topic of urging marriage has been on the hot search list on social media many times, which has aroused the resonance of many netizens, such as "I was urged to marry for a few days after I went home", "In the past, the circle of friends during the New Year used to complain about relatives and ask about grades, but now During the Chinese New Year, the elders are always worrying about urging marriage"...the elders have various ways to urge marriage, and the young people rack their brains to think of counter-urging marriage coups, and both sides have unspeakable helplessness.
In recent years, the number of first-time marriages in China has been declining year after year.
The "China Statistical Yearbook 2022" shows that the number of first marriages (that is, first marriages) in China in 2021 will be 11.578 million, a decrease of 708,000 from 2020.
In terms of age, according to the "China Census Yearbook-2020", the average age of first marriage in China in 2020 is 28.67 years old, nearly 4 years later than the average age of first marriage in 2010 (24.89 years old).
Peng Ze, an expert invited by the Hunan Provincial Health Commission, said that currently, the global marriage rate generally shows a continuous downward trend. The low marriage rate of the marriageable population is in sharp contrast to the high marriage expectations of parents for their children.
Parents' expectations for their children's marriage and love stem from long-term life experience and cultural beliefs, such as the concept of marriage and love that "boys should marry when they graduate, and girls should marry when they graduate", which prompts parents to have higher expectations for their children's marriage and love.
"This is different from the actual situation of contemporary youth, so urging marriage has become a hot topic at present."
Faced with many pressures to get married, Mr. Chen told reporters that working and living in a big city is stressful, and he needs to buy a house to get married and start a family. However, the help parents can provide is limited.
"I understand that the original intention of parents must be for the good of their children, but life and work will inevitably be affected after marriage. Parents may not fully understand the pressure young people are facing now. I would like to consider getting married two years later."
Experts pointed out that unlike the acquaintance society in third- and fourth-tier cities, big cities have a fast pace of work, narrow social circles, high cost of living, and young people are now more cautious in choosing a partner. "Getting out of the single" has become a common problem for many people.
At the same time, many people have achieved self-sufficiency in material life and spiritual world outside the family through their own efforts. Coupled with inclusive social concepts and an increasingly perfect security system, in the eyes of many young people, marriage has become a matter of choice, not a choice. A must.
In the face of intergenerational differences in the concept of marriage and love, Zhang Jing, a lawyer at Beijing Lianggao Law Firm and an expert in marriage and family law, advised children not to let the topic of marriage urging become a minefield, "just one point".
Children living outside can find ways to let their parents understand their current working and living environment, and narrow the cognitive gap between the two generations about each other's living conditions.
In the final analysis, marriage is for young people to live their own lives, and choosing the right life partner is the correct view of marriage.
Since Ms. Xu graduated from university and officially started working, her family has introduced partners to her one after another. At first she showed strong resistance, but after communication, her parents rarely urged her to get married.
Ms. Xu's mother said that she just thinks that when the child reaches the marriageable age, he can consider getting married instead of forcing her to think more from her daughter's point of view.
"Not every fish is in the same sea. As long as the child is happy, it doesn't matter if she is married or single. Respect the child's ideas, provided that she lives a fulfilling life and is not alone." (End)