“A return to oneself”: yes, loneliness can be beneficial for our happiness

Yanis Darras 6:45 p.m., January 23, 2023

And if spending time at home, going to the cinema or to a restaurant alone, was a little guilty pleasure that some people refuse?

On the occasion of World Solitude Day this Monday, January 23, in the program

 Virginie Megglé, psychoanalyst, highlights the benefits of loneliness on our happiness and explains how to get rid of the "sudden" effect that part of the population can feel.

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"Because loneliness has a bad press. It's almost something shameful", explains at the microphone of Europe 1, the author of

, published by Eyrolles.

For the latter, sometimes, "the gaze of others can weigh on lonely people, and thus make their loneliness more difficult to live with than the fact of being alone". 

"It's as if we don't take the time to sleep"

“However, we really have an interest” in spending time only with ourselves, underlines the psychoanalyst.

"We have a solitude that is almost anthological. After all, we are born alone and we die alone," she notes.

"So indeed, loneliness is a difficult feeling sometimes. But learning to live well (with) is still an additional positive condition to then be well with others", believes Virginie Megglé. 

"And then, loneliness reflects the need to take care of yourself. Because loneliness is also ultimately the fact of knowing how to live your intimacy well," adds the psychoanalyst.

And to add: "If you don't take time for yourself, it's as if you don't take time to sleep". 

Accept rejections

"And indeed, if one has neglected one's solitude in favor of sharing with the community, I find that there is something almost healthy, if one can say so, about this return to oneself. A return to oneself that does not is not cut off from the world, but which exists just to recharge, so that it can then be better in communication with the world", adds Virginie Megglé.

But according to a study published on Monday, nearly 11 million French people feel alone.

Worse, 80% of them say they suffer from it.

So, to remedy this and learn to tame her loneliness, or even appreciate it, Virginie Megglé calls for consulting professionals in “psychotherapy or psychoanalysis”.

"These are spaces today of intimacy which allow to know each other", she assures.

"And then, you also have to dare to set foot in the world again, even if it means being refused. And if that's the case, then you have to take the time to repair yourself and accept it", in order to be able to move forward, concludes the psychoanalyst.