Shakira, deluxe greengrocer

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• The girls at the Santa Monica dormitory defend being called whores because it is a tradition.

  Ablation too, and we are not going to respect it for that reason

Fair play.

Shakira is accused of violating this sacrosanct sports principle for the lyrics of the song from session #53 of Bizarrap that she has dedicated to her ex-partner,

and her new churri,

(whom she compares to a

we don't know grace or not that he has done such a thing to Renault) and not precisely to call them pretty.

To reproach, and to make it clear that this song is not fantasy, it even refers to the lack of support that he supposedly received from the footballer when the Treasury told him, look pretty, pay me what you owe me (14.5 million euros specifically, according to the judge), that you have forgotten to make the personal income tax between 2012 and 2014.

In any case, as we have already written about the above, this happens and the earth splits in two, more or less like in Armageddon, with humanity having access to social networks and therefore the possibility of expressing an opinion even on what she doesn't know nor does she sound divided into two irreconcilable worlds: in favor of Shakira for taking revenge by taking advantage of her vocal qualities (personally I appreciate that she has abandoned the path of the desperate gurgle);

against Shakira for her lack of elegance, for abusing her position of power -Piqué doesn't sing, or was he?

- and for behaving like a spiteful wolf -"spite, oah, crazy", Rosalía would say-, something apparently intolerable.

Because let's not forget what a woman should be above all since donkeys bray and elephants trumpet:

Because the opposite is to be a greengrocer, come on, shout to the four winds the benefits that adorn your genre and the defects that dirty that of your competition.

It doesn't matter if your cucumbers are better.

Or if the people in the front post are covered in cyanide.

Here the important thing is not to be noticed;

to be without being;

leave other people's cucumbers alone.

We women take this discretion thing so screwed to the marrow that, oh, how many of us still keep locked up today even their most serious personal problems, the greatest humiliations, because making them public is "in bad taste", if not a sovereign betrayal.

In order not to tarnish the image of the 'enemy', we are sometimes even willing to eat the cucumber with cyanide.

And sometimes we even die from poisoning.

No melodrama.

The fact is that being discreet is so well seen that they even congratulate us when we keep our composure at a funeral instead of bursting into tears... being widows.

To put the above to the test, it is enough to trace how many news items (and yes, including some published in Yo Dona, and yes, I do not deny it, some signed by me) use the adjective 'discreet' in the title as a positive feature of the protagonist.

Come on, let me blow myself up a bit: Machi Martín, the discreet businesswoman who takes to the jet in her luxury planes, Lady Susan, the discreet and confident lady-in-waiting of the British court, Carmen Ballesteros, the discreet daughter who takes over the legacy from his father Seve... Long live the discreet, down with the greengrocers.

To me, personally, Shakira singing what she thinks to Piqué seems great to me, it is not only a question of freedom of expression, but of

on the intimate from the discretion to which it has been subjected for centuries for women.

The songs serve, among other things, for people to feel identified with them, and I have no doubt that in this rabid musical theme many feel reflected and, yes, also 'revenged'.

And another thing: pointing to Shakira as a classic jilted woman who loses her temper is idiotic.

Her musical 'revenge' was not invented by her.

This same summer

dedicated not one but two vengeful songs to his ex,

In one of them, 'This is a Song for Miss Hedy Lamarr', in collaboration with the legendary

he reviews the trial and recounts how he lived through it in a very painful way.

In the other, 'Sad Motherfuckin' Parade' she is happy with her ex: "You've been sitting there, like a dog with an itch that has lasted seven years."

We

don't even talk about

Last year she posted a song 'dedicated' to her ex-wife,

where she directly describes herself murdering her.

Yes, to the mother of her three daughters.

also

dedicated

a beautiful song entitled 'Eazy' to

and her partner

her children and her desire for revenge against the then newly released boyfriend of her ex-wife.

Although for high-end greengrocers, my favorite, Two-legged Rat, corrido that the immense

secretly dedicated (well, not her, the composer,

to the former president of Mexico

Although everyone believed that it was addressed to the singer's ex-husband (and she herself gave the song all her energy, surely thinking of him)

"Filthy rat, creeping animal, waste of life, ill-fated eyesore, subhuman, specter from hell, cursed vermin, how much damage have you done me!"

Learn, Shakira, and long live the vegetables.

Meanwhile, on a planet far away, Piqué...

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• Gerard Piqué