Isabel Preysler and Tamara, Carolina de Mónaco and Carlota, Cayetana de Alba and Eugenia... Is the way of loving inherited?

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The

that Mario Vargas Llosa and Isabel Preysler have served us is the one that we were already following step by step with Tamara Falcó and Íñigo Onieva.

Identical plot, development and outcome, until Tamara forgave the unfaithful Íñigo Onieva and returned with him.

The characters vary and the touch of genius that the Nobel Prize gives it with the mention of Madame Bovary, the female figure created by Gustave Flaubert in the 19th century that always fascinated him.

There was a time when mother and daughter found themselves at the same point: singleness after the disappointment in love and the illusion of finding arms, new or old, following a kind of natural course.

Is the way of loving inherited?

according to the theories developed by the British psychoanalyst John Bowlby about the baby's attachment to the mother.

It would be a survival and protection instinct that evolves to form bonds with others for the rest of our lives.

the ways of loving

Depending on the type of parenting, we love

After Bowlby, many authors have been inspired by his ideas to advance the complex science of love.

In fact, one of the best-selling books in the world is 'Ways to love.

The new science of adult attachment and how it can help you find love and keep it'.

It was published in 2010, but it is still unstoppable.

Its authors, psychiatrist Amir Levine and psychologist Rachel Heller, are not gurus, but firm believers that it is time to stop self-sabotaging our love lives.

"Life," they say, "is too short to date an asshole."

Levin and Heller insist on attachment theory to explain why we love as we love and want who we want.

Why does the torment of a possible abandonment and the fear of loneliness lead some people to chain romances without pause?

And why do others, who get rashes from commitment, end up spinning one-night stands?

Our romantic style

we receive in the first years of life.

If instead of attachment we had a distant relationship, we will develop an anxious way of wanting, continually seeking protection.

Or, on the contrary, we will become distrustful and avoid love.

famous examples

The newspaper library reveals very eloquent traits in the biographies of the most famous women in the world.

This is the case of

Mother and daughter have had a fast-paced life marked by an atypical childhood, a youth full of romance, emotional instability, love ups and downs and the same courageous attitude to allow themselves to start over.

Melanie has had three weddings and Tippi four.

The last one, with the veterinarian Martin Dinnes, ended, at almost 80 years of age, due to disagreements in the way of loving animals.

The matriarch marked an intense style of wanting that Melanie continued.

The relationship between her granddaughter Dakota Johnson and singer Chris Martin still endures today, despite the secrecy that characterizes the young actress.

Melanie Griffith and her mother, fellow actress Tippi Hedren.Gtres

Magnetic resonance imaging confirms that an affectionate bond with the mother during the first three years of life favors the development of the hippocampus, a crucial region in processes such as memory, learning, and managing emotions.

Bruce D Perry, a psychiatrist at Texas Children's Hospital, achieved the first images in which the difference, at three years of life, between a brain deprived of maternal emotions and that of a lovingly raised baby was appreciated with shocking clarity.

The first, significantly smaller, showed enlarged ventricles and cortical atrophy.

His findings have been backed up by subsequent research.

The case of Ghislaine Maxwell

During the trial against Ghislaine, the youngest daughter of tycoon Robert Maxwell, accused of recruiting underage women for the sexual predator Jeffrey Epstein, a detail emerged in her inexcusable, but decisive biography.

Despite being her father's favourite, her mother, Elisabeth, ignored her first babblings and was unable to hold out her hand when she wanted to start walking.

She was born two days before the accident that left her brother Michael in a coma and until her death six years later, her mother did not leave her bed.

In her memories, Elisabeth remembers her daughter screaming when she was only three years old:

From there, she grew capricious and without limits.

It is an extreme and exceptional case.

The normal thing, as Levine and Heller observe, is

One in four people do so in a period of four years and evolves into a secure attachment, with warm, balanced and empathetic relationships in terms of feelings, desires and needs.

It is the healthiest attachment and the one that poses less conflict in the relationship.

Isabel Preysler and her second daughter, Tamara Falcó.Gtres

However, the need to feel safe and loved is not a dysfunction.

Even from this predisposition to repeat the pattern, the authors suggest that

learning to love from a position of strength, security and dignity to enjoy a healthy relationship and know happiness.

Carolina-Carlota, Cayetana-Eugenia...

Carolina de Monaco and her daughter Carlota Casiraghi represent inherited elegance, a sense of discipline, beauty and a savoir faire that evokes the glamor of Grace Kelly.

Both chose

and, despite the differences between them, now enjoy a moment of serenity.

It is the same cycle that Princess Grace followed, with a long love affair with movie stars until she became the idolized princess.

Finally, we can mention Cayetana de Alba and Eugenia Martínez de Irujo, the aristocrats hooked on life and love.

There has never been a lack of men around her because of that outpouring of joy and sympathy and they have overcome disappointments

always madly and letting themselves be carried away by their hearts, never by bickering.

According to the criteria of The Trust Project

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