Snail slime cream for Carolina de Monaco, the Boyfriend pillow for the Princess of Asturias and other Kings gifts for the royals

• Jennifer Lopez and other 'celebs' who have abandoned (temporarily or permanently) social networks

• Another annus horribilis for the Windsors: from the death of Elizabeth II to the non-stop show of Harry and Meghan

Members of royal families have some

that they endure with admirable fortitude: virtually unlimited wealth, a devoted kingdom that showers them with reverence, and attendants at their every whim.

Financed, some of them, by taxpayers and with dizzying family fortunes, they don't have to look for life.

But that's not why they stop thanking for some gifts.

The idea is, of course, to leave your mark by offering

because life is more interesting when the surprising assails it.

While everyone is humming Mariah Carey's 'All I Want for Christmas Is You' for the umpteenth time, it's stimulating to get away from the crowd, always so predictable, and entrust oneself to wit without forgetting glamour.

The dumber the better

On the occasion of the 150th anniversary of the London Underground, the

was given a subway card by her Windsor grandchildren, in case she ever wanted to make a little getaway without her driver and in secret.

The family was also not left behind when, under the Christmas tree,

found an adorable garden gnome, a plastic angel and a cute book entitled 'Your Arms Remind Me of Pork Luncheon Meat'. pork).

The wild-faced Windsors let their hair down at the traditional gift exchange in Sandringham's Red Room (it's actually painted green), which is the only time they can tolerate mistaking wit for

They are usually joke gifts, 'the sillier, the better' (the dumber, the better).

The key to success is extravagance.

In 1981, on her first Christmas in Sandringham,

who was unaware of this facet of her in-laws, was embarrassed when

was given a cushion that farted and Granny, the Queen Mother, another one sprinkled with itching powder.

crochet poppy

Camila

who was born a commoner and has ended up wearing the crown of an Empire, would be excited about any little detail that would confirm that she does not live in a dream but in an improbable reality.

Something like a sweatshirt -before she was queen she was a fan of casual style- with the initials HRH (Her Royal Highness) stamped on her chest.

I found it for €37.72 at QuotesTeesStore with a heavyweight fabric rich in cotton and manufactured in decent working conditions according to WRAP (responsible accredited production) standards.

To make a batch it would be nice to add a Veterans Day poppy, crochet would be more original.

Camilla, Queen Consort of England.Gtres

Knowing his hygienist scruples when it comes to shaking hands with crowds,

would appreciate a bottle of liquid hand soap without rinsing.

Aesop's Geranium Leaf ($10 at Nordstrom) smells luxurious and kills bacteria while moisturizing skin.

Meghan Markle never travels without that hand sanitizer.

And who are we to doubt the good judgment of the duchess?

The power of love

William and Kate,

polite as they are, receive the presents with expressive smiles.

The gifts are as varied as his official tours and can be as embarrassing as the King of Bahrain's superferolitic watches, which did not go down well with human rights advocates.

What Kate could really use would be a plastic tiara to get used to the weight of her crown.

The multicolored Princess Unique model costs €5.29 on Amazon.

A real luxury at an affordable price.

To complete the lot, Jo Malone London's Orange Blossom

(75 euros at Nordstrom), which was the scent of her wedding to William.

In times of uncertainty, she comforts herself by taking refuge in good memories.

Kate Middleton, Princess of Wales.Gtres

Since William is a homebody guy, what could be used in the movies are The Starling Loafer slippers, which work as pleasant loafers and say goodbye to plantar fasciitis and heel spurs.

At Birdies you can find them for €95 with the claim 'The slipper of kings'.

That William and Kate are a couple in love is obvious, but they do not express it with the enthusiasm of Harry and Meghan, who in their Netflix series leave Romeo and Juliet up to the mud.

For this reason, in order not to lose sight of his brother, William could use 'The power of love', the book of sermons by Bishop Michael Curry (€12 on Amazon), which includes not only the sermon of the Sussexes' wedding in 2018, but several others designed to 'uplift and inspire'.

Or so it says on the cover.

Washing caps and black sheep sweater

Before getting married,

liked to do the Indian thing the most, now he enjoys shooting poisoned arrows at his own tribe.

Since, in the absence of a crown, it is common to see him wearing a baseball cap, a cap washing machine would do great (yes, I didn't know that either, but caps can be washed).

Shark Tank

sells a holder that works on the top rack of any dishwasher to keep caps from losing their shape.

The Ballcap Buddy model sells for €13.75 for a pack of two and is completely reusable.

The Dukes of Sussex, Harry and Meghan.Gtres

Expats have a tendency to melancholy over the lost territories of the soul, so to round out the lot, Harry would appreciate the

(€149 on Amazon).

If the doors have been closed to you, building a replica of the majestic royal residence could be an option.

And a revenge.

Since he deserted the family, he has to pack his bags to go from the Mint to the Mecca.

We Big Bang Theory fans remember seeing Sheldon Cooper wear a BoxLegend V2 Shirt folding board which helps a lot.

On Amazon for €16.99.

For her part,

would appreciate a bouquet of plastic flowers to save herself the work of having to cut roses from her garden at the mansion in Montecito (California). At Justoyou ten artificial roses for €15.99 (1.60 each).

You don't have to have seen her series on Netflix to know that the Duchess of Sussex is so clever that when events overwhelm her, she pretends that she is the one causing them.

For the sequel to her docuseries it would suit her like a glove to appear in

(£295 on the Rowing Blazers website).

In the

for £39 you can find half-pint china teacups that would remind the Sussexes of the life they gave up.

To fill them up, nothing like Royal Blend tea (50 teabags for £9 at Fortnum & Mason).

To accompany the infusion, a loaf of homemade banana bread.

In other words, let them do it by themselves.

Charlene, the happiness of seducing

The sad countenance of

makes you want to tell her a joke or give her something that will make her smile, a glint in her eyes, I don't know, something that will reconcile her with the job of living and the swimmer will jump back in to the joie de vivre pool, splash!

Gift him what?

Well, the Uvex visor helmet to accompany Alberto on his bobsleigh.

I found it on Amazon for €159.95.

Charlene, the wife of Prince Albert of Monaco.Gtres

Albert of Monaco

is the only sovereign to have been to the North Pole and South Pole, and Charlene would have to bundle up to follow him.

She would love the Napapijri K Skidoo coat.

In red, of course: the white of the snow will complete an impromptu Monaco flag!

For only €250.

And to complete the lot, a little reading: Nadine de Rothschild's definitive manual, to become

and not make any mistakes at official dinners.

It is entitled 'The happiness of seducing, the art of succeeding' and it costs €22.50.

Snail slime and juggling balls

His sister- in-law

He will turn 66 on January 23 and has ended up being as respectable as a statue that does not flake off time, that great corrupter.

Yaya of seven grandchildren, he has made a flag of his wrinkles.

But neither is it a matter of the former 'Europe's sweetheart' letting down her guard.

That's why I can't think of a better gift than the latest anti age discovery.

The idea of ​​getting snail slime all over your face can be repulsive and give you goosebumps, but even so this K-beauty ingredient (Korean cosmetics) is the best of the best.

There are hundreds of creams and masks with snail extract, but my primary dermatologist recommends LadyKin's Affinic which, in addition to its lovely packaging, leaves your skin feeling soft and hydrated.

Just a little goes a long way.

I found it on Amazon for €19.99.

Princess Caroline of Monaco.Gtres

His eldest daughter,

as well as a style icon, is the intellectual Grimaldi.

She is a journalist, philosopher, filmmaker and editor, she spends her time between readings.

She doesn't lack anything, but she doesn't have time to spare.

She would be infinitely grateful if they gave her a month of free time and a pen to read at arm's length, underlining and refuting in the classic margins of philosophy for glasses.

A categorical principle would be to give him Kant's 'Critique of Pure Reason';

Hegel's 'Phenomenology of Spirit', and Joyce's 'Ulysses' in the original English version.

The pack of these three must-haves for eggheads costs €21.68 on Amazon.

Her aunt

has not given up her passion for the circus, not the media one, of course, but the real one, the one with jugglers, trapeze artists, elephants and clowns.

She misses her old tours with the circus.

No problem, get a free set of juggling balls in the colors of Monaco for €4.95 each.

For other future queens

Leonor, Princess of Asturias.Gtres

As happened to her father with his girlfriends,

our preppy Princess of Asturias, is going to complicate her life with the scrutiny of her boyfriends.

Let's not beat around the bush, what you are going to need is the polyester Boyfriend pillow.

This clever take on the traditional pillow looks like a men's button-down shirt with an arm.

Ideal for snuggling.

Quirky, right? But who cares.

On Amazon from €35.56.

Amalia from the Netherlands

has just turned 20 and is a lover of peace and quiet.

The perfect present?

Vibes Hi-Fidelity Earplugs, the case comes with three different silicone tips so you can fit them to your ear (on Amazon for €23.98).

That and a personalized sonnet.

Ingrid from Norway

belongs to her status as much as to the air of Generation Z's time, and is therefore ecologist, sporty and suitably fashionista.

She has a talent for photography and enjoys soccer, skiing, kickboxing, and surfing as much as she likes playing the piano.

Total, that she does not spread the day.

She needs an alarm clock.

For €29.99 you can find a digital one on Amazon with a music box and a revolving Christmas tree.

That and a stuffed moose.

With gifts like these, for once the princesses will not feel burdened since they cannot receive gifts of great value, lest they be accused of bribery.

According to the criteria of The Trust Project

Know more