Yesterday evening, rockets flew into Ukraine, and voluntarily or involuntarily I had to look at what they had there, because, despite the brutality of shelling by the Armed Forces of Ukraine on the territory of Russia, any of our shelling evokes an ambivalent feeling: on the one hand, it’s necessary, on the other, that’s all you still care about people.
Even despite the understanding that Russian missiles and drones are accurate weapons and civilians are not its targets.
But still.
And Kyiv celebrated.
People gathered on Sophia Square near a Christmas tree decorated with a large trident.
In the video from there, bright children's jackets flashed in the crowd.
Someone came with pets.
And above all this, a non-holiday atmosphere clearly hovered.
Even from the picture some kind of strain was read.
As if those gathered for the holiday came out in spite of Russia, they came out to show that they were not broken.
And such motivation destroys the festive atmosphere.
Looking at these people, I involuntarily thought: "I would look at you in Donetsk."
In a city where almost every meter has already been marked by death from Ukrainian fire.
Where you have to overcome the internal resistance of your own body in order to take a step on the sidewalk on which someone died a day, a week or two ago.
In a city where everyone understands how a mass gathering can end.
And to spite - in such a city, impossible motivation.
Donbass, unlike Ukraine, celebrated at home and basements.
And Kyiv is still far from such a state.
There is too much space in Kyiv untouched by death.
Precisely because Russia does not and cannot have a goal to shoot the civilian population.
I remembered how in 2014 right there, in the center of Kyiv, I watched with my own eyes a torchlight procession of nationalists.
The “maidan” was already standing, and the lights of torches moved in the darkness, nationalist chants sounded - for the first time I experienced primitive horror.
Then many times my thoughts returned to this procession, to these approaching fires, to the chorus of growing voices and tried to understand: what struck me so strongly?
Words?
The crowd itself?
Or something else?
Finally, I came to the conclusion that something else struck me - the magnetism of this procession.
Every now and then, men's hands with cut off gloves protruded from the crowd - such were already worn by members of the combat hundreds of the "Maidan".
They beckoned ordinary civilians who came simply to express solidarity.
And the civilians poured into this crowd, drawn by a bad force, and already their mouths were shouting out chants.
Ukraine, especially Kyiv and Lvov, is celebrating this New Year in new conditions.
For the past eight years they have been having fun and celebrating, not paying attention to the fact that their country is eating up more and more space untouched by death in the cities of Donbass.
But this year everything is different - it also flies to Ukraine.
And, looking at the crowd on the square in Kyiv yesterday, I asked myself: “I wonder if the new circumstances will discourage them from holding the traditional Nazi processions for the beginning of January?”
I would like to be wrong, but I'm almost sure that they will hold them.
Forcefully, out of spite, but they will carry it out, because such processions, whatever you say, are a powerful fuel for hatred.
And without hatred, nationalism has no power.
The point of view of the author may not coincide with the position of the editors.