"Rather dying"... Why some people prefer to spend Christmas alone

• The writing of "20 Minutes" accompanies you during the end of year celebrations.

  Big questions, small questions, real worries?

  We answer you.

• In this episode, we look at the “voluntary solitary Christmas”.

  Readers of

  20 Minutes

  have responded to our call for testimonials and explain why they love to spend New Year's Eve or December 25 away from sequins and Uncle René.

• The testimonies of Patrick, Sabine or Jean-Claude contrast with the experience of Alain Mathiot, president of SOS Amitié, who knows how difficult the holiday season is for isolated people “who do not fit into the “family” box.

  »

“Better to die than celebrate Christmas for the umpteenth time with these people who pretend to get along and who, in the end, I don't really like.

As far as she can remember, the author of these lines had never met a friend who hated the end of year celebrations as much as Patrick*.

For this 39-year-old divorcee, Christmas is quite simply the meeting point for "great dripping feelings", "a shitty party during which you eat too much, you drink too much and you yell at each other".

So to avoid a December 25

version , Patrick has chosen for ten years not to give any sign of life from December 23 to 26.

And like this Parisian, 20% of French people (25% for city dwellers)* will spend Christmas alone this year.

If "many did not wish to experience this loneliness during the holiday season", according to Alain Mathiot, president of SOS Amitié since 2017, some have knowingly chosen to ignore Christmas.

“The fact remains that SOS Friendship often receives phone calls from people who say they have chosen their solitude, who say that it is better to be alone than in bad company, and who call us anyway…”, smiles Alain Mathiot.

Do not see "those we avoided all the rest of the year"

Pierre is apparently not one of them.

And the specter of a Christmas spent alone slumped on the sofa in front of the TV does not give birth to Sabine any embryo of depression.

“I like to spend Christmas alone so that I no longer have to say blessings in the hope that my brother-in-law does not choose me as a Turkish head all evening”, balances this Internet user who responded to our call for testimonials.

So what will Sabine do on December 25?

She will read a few magazines in her pajamas, rather delighted to be able to avoid seeing her niece "drink in one evening more than Poland's alcohol consumption in four months".

Access to this content has been blocked to respect your choice of consent

By clicking on "

", you accept the deposit of cookies by external services and will thus have access to the content of our partners

I ACCEPT

And to better remunerate 20 Minutes, do not hesitate to accept all cookies, even for one day only, via our "I accept for today" button in the banner below.

More information on the Cookie Management Policy page.

via GIPHY

Like Sabine or Patrick, there are many of our Internet users who prefer to be alone at Christmas rather than “impose the stress” of the family meal or see “those we avoided all the rest of the year” again.

Among them, Jean-Claude who says he "already dried up mother-in-law's Christmas dinner" and then felt "a huge moment of serenity".

“Twenty hours, a casual outfit and a little aperitif while reading or tinkering.

Then, a good TV set with half a bottle of wine in front of an old film, varying the positions on the sofa.

Such will be the Christmas of Pierre, who is "one of those for whom living alone is a luxury" and who has been spending New Year's Eve alone for twenty years, by choice.

The "too long family meals, those who want to sing, those who don't, those who drink and end up wanting to sing", very little for the one who every year declines "politely and without any guilt" the invitation of his children.

Christmas in Japan, "in a bar surrounded by strangers"

Are you the type to take out the tree in mid-June and see in these “anti-Christmas” unconscious people that you absolutely must enlist with great blows of

?

Abstain, unhappy ones, because these "anti" have the merry solo Christmas.

In order to avoid “the toxic excitement of the end of year celebrations”, some have even chosen to go far away, “without telling anyone”.

“Christmas is all about the cries of children and political debates.

For the joy and joy, we will come back”, testifies Tony who will visit Rome this year.

In sentimental rupture, Jennifer “had no desire to spend the holidays with the family” and chose to travel alone for the first time in her life.

This repentant “Christmas addict” will even dare to take off for Hungary during the holiday season which she has “always adored”.

On Cassandre's program, who has been celebrating Christmas alone for three years already?

Movies on TV, a walk or a trip, like last year in Japan, "with noodles and whiskey in a bar surrounded by strangers" with whom she "had a good laugh".

And if she "had the means", Ginette would do like Cassandre, she would go "alone to the end of the world" to cut with this "too much of everything" which makes her feel "nauseous".

Access to this content has been blocked to respect your choice of consent

By clicking on "

", you accept the deposit of cookies by external services and will thus have access to the content of our partners

I ACCEPT

“Too bad if I pass for the obscure uncle, the depressive cousin”

Indeed, let's not forget our readers who, like Ginette, would like to draw a line under the “calibrated and approved happiness” of Christmas.

“Confronted with the happiness of others, it is not uncommon to choose to avoid Christmas when we do not fit, for example, in the “family” box, analyzes Alain Mathiot.

Although our lines are now saturated all year round, I must admit that in our sixty years of existence, we have noted in the past an increase in calls in the month of August and during Christmas, during these major periods which impose to build social ties.

Singles, parents at odds with their children are those who will often choose not to celebrate Christmas, but they are also those who are overcome with regret and call SOS Amitié.

»

No regrets, no guilt at Clémence.

It may have taken some time, but today our reader “assumes” that she wants to save herself the Christmas marathon.

“To chain evening, meal, and alarm clock at 7 am for the children, another meal and a departure in stride to return to work on the 26th, it was no longer a pleasure.

I save time, money, energy and avoid an often disappointing evening”, announces the one who will celebrate Christmas “in front of the integral of Sissi, hidden under a plaid”.

“It took a few arguments, but today my mother understood” 

“For a few years, my mother cried, tried to make me change my mind.

She almost succeeded, explains Patrick.

And then, I said to myself that I had to find the courage to be myself.

Too bad if I pass for the obscure uncle, the depressive cousin.

“After a few failures, the almost quadra finally managed to make his mother understand that Christmas did not make him happy.

“It took a few arguments, big discussions but today she knows that, wherever I am, I am happier without the family.

» 

Claire has managed to make Christmas "a day like any other" which she tries to spend "indulging herself, selfishly, without any guilt".

Since she spent Christmas alone, this reader of

seems happy to no longer “have to find the gift that will please, have to be with the family, have to party”.

As for Gabrielle, who in a long response nicely shared with us the wonderful memories of her Christmases of yesteryear, she just hopes for one thing: that her "bright Christmas peace is not spoiled by noisy neighbors who believe in their duty" not to "leave her alone that day".

Surely there must be a word for Christmas phobia, and if that word existed, Anne would have used it.

The one who “does not like Christmas” however did not manage to avoid this year “the test of the boring meal and the orgy of tasteless gifts” and this, “in order not to get angry with his family”.

We therefore wish good luck to Anne, hoping that she will find the courage to do like Pierre next year.

A Pierre, 80, who asked his family to “do without him” this year and who will have the final word: “Quiet.

I will go to bed early.

I won't have a hangover.

I will do what I want.

The peace.

»

* In order not to get angry with his family, the friend preferred the assumed name.

* Figures from an OpinionWay survey, provided by the SOS Amitié association.

* Odoxa/Le Parisien survey - December 2016

• Christmas

• Video

• Testimony

• Company