When does a love break stop hurting?

ABBA already said: "Breaking up is never easy".

There are no universal rules, nor an emergency manual to cling to in order to try to relieve pain, because everyone feels it in their own way.

"

There is no exact time. Rather, it is a subjective time, which depends on each one and how each one experiences it. But perhaps the time reference in which it is expected to be processed is between

If it exceeds a year, or a year and a half, it begins to be a

, something that lasts too long and begins to harm a person If the bond is built by many years and a coexistence with children has developed, it will not be proportional, but it will surely require more time", explains Sebastián Girona, a psychologist specializing in couple bonds.

The phases to overcome that pain are, according to Girona, the same ones that occur in a duel.

"In fact, when we end a relationship, we need to mourn that bond and affection. From that point of view, we go through these stages:

, when we think we don't deserve it or synonymous with denying what happened;

versus to the separation that goes hand in hand with denial;

, being hurt by what we are losing; and, finally, the last station on this path is

, accepting that I have separated".

This is, he warns, "a theoretical numbering, but all these stages can be mixed, it is not a linear path. Perhaps we go to station 2, we return to 3, and then to 1, and so on until, in each phase, comply with what I have to do according to what has happened to me and what I feel".

But how long does it take to heal?

It is still subjective and, as I said before, each person experiences it in a different way. It implies a time, a process that takes a few weeks or months, or even a little more, but, in any case, the key is in

that we discussed before, completing a cycle with respect to denial, anger, sadness and acceptance.When

, with what it means to go through each of them, we will begin to heal and close the process of duel".

Turning the page,

although complicated and painful, is essential.

"It is something essential because it takes us out of the vital pause in which we find ourselves, of being immobile in the face of what happened. It makes

. For this, yes, it is essential that we respect time natural we need for this to happen.

And that, how do you know?

"It feels; there comes a time when we feel and we realize that we can turn the page."

And, even if it is a momentary consolation,

is not a good idea.

"Maintaining contact makes it more difficult, although, many times, when we share children, a job or some situation that makes us have to see our ex, we have no other choice. But it makes it more complicated, because the

it continues to feed and that means that the memory cannot be weakened, because we continue to keep it alive".

ABBA already said it: "Breaking up is never easy" (and it always hurts).

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