Couples Divorces reinvent themselves (and increase) after the holidays
Couple How to survive the summer without getting divorced in the attempt
Well-being "You're going to miss the rice", you don't have children or a partner and other (heavy) social conditioning factors that we have had enough of
is a month of endings and beginnings, a cathartic month, a propitious month to reset the counter to zero.
At least in intentions.
Many transfer this 'clean slate' to love and decide to shelve couples that don't work out.
September is, then, the guillotine, the lace, the end.
These days we have seen two couples of 'celebrities' who have broken up,
Tamara Falcó-Íñigo Onieva
and Laura Escanes-Risto Mejide
, and other years we also saw
, among other celebrities, but beware that no one escapes the ferocity of 'September effect'.
It could be said that so many beaches, so many mountains and so many 'Lonely Planet' guides make love stories real scavengers.
The INE says, which has us all portrayed with its detailed statistics, that
last year there were 90,000
sentimental breakups, between separations and divorces.
It also says that most occur between
40 and 49 years.
The General Council of the Judiciary (CGPJ) also maintains that the number of divorces is higher in the third quarter of the year, specifically in September.
But what the hell happens in this month?
It is necessary to take into account an issue that is not very connected with emotions and yes, instead, with bureaucracies, windows and paperwork, and that is that August is a
judicially unworking month
, so divorce lawsuits accumulate.
But there are more reasons and they concern, of course, the heart.
The 'fault' is the vacation
, director of the Center for Clinical and Health Psychology in Valencia, explains: "Usually crises have been dragging on for a long time, but in summer, as we have less work stress and fewer worries, we focus more on how the relationship is going."
In other words,
makes us think, and thinking sometimes leads us to the conclusion that we want a change in our lives.
In addition, in summer "by spending more time together as a couple, there are
and the lack of communication that we have not faced or avoided during the year is also more present," he maintains.
So that 'touch makes love' may be yes, or it may be no.
It depends, like almost everything.
The psychologist Ana Villarrubia, for her part, insists that the day-to-day routine functions as a "rug under which everything is swept" and many couples arrive in September without that inertia by which they let themselves be dragged along at other times of the year.
who is the person
with whom we truly share our life. Many times, unfortunately,
we don't like what we see too much..."
, she affirms.
Summer is usually synonymous with stopping, taking stock, planning and projecting.
In summer you cannot not live together and, therefore,
if we have neglected the couple,
summer is also the ideal time to stop doing it, and try to redirect the dynamics of the relationship
before it is already too late
and only show the distance.
Tips for 'surviving' the summer
Despite the time to think and a more intense coexistence, all is not lost, far from it.
It is time, precisely, to take care of ourselves more and better, if perhaps during the rest of the year we have 'sinned' in that sense.
Logically, this is aimed at the amendable, because if things go 'badly', it is
better not to stretch the gum.
Sara Navarrete proposes these tips to get out of the summer months unscathed and not be the one who swells the CGPJ statistics:
Become aware and reflect
on what are the risk points that can cause the couple to explode to try to control them before they happen or take them into account in case they occur.
In this sense, "you need to have
," she says.
The reason is that just by talking we get a knot to come undone in us and we avoid drastic solutions.
In addition, we give the other time to react and put themselves in your place.
"In consultation we often see that the abandoned member of the couple is totally surprised by the breakup," she says.
Have a plan.
The psychologist gives an example: you have to talk to the other about what would happen if an infidelity occurs and, even, what exactly is an infidelity for them.
For one it may be a sexual relationship, but for another, a certain conversation, without contact in between, constitutes 'horns' like a cathedral.
Agreements must also be established, he recommends, about whether to have children and how we will act if they do.
"When we are well, we believe that we will not have differences, but whatever it is, it is better to talk about it before," she says.
Take action and reassess
The expert proposes, for example, one day a week to find a consensus space in the couple to analyze and see how the situation is, if someone needs to express their discontent and put the solution in common.
Conforms to The Trust Project criteria