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There is no secret formula for lasting love.

The world of relationships is lived today with more

uncertainty

than economic crises.

Especially since social media has made

changing partners

as easy as pressing the 'next' button.

Nobody believes movies anymore because even Disney has banished the myth of romantic love.

However, there are hunches that continue to move the world and in summer our emotions come to the surface.

"Our body begins to generate greater amounts of

serotonin, dopamine and endorphins

, which on a psychological level make us feel greater well-being and pleasure," explains Isabel Aranda, health psychologist and

Clinical Content Officer

.

For this reason, when we meet someone at this time of year, we start the relationship with great desire, enthusiasm and we live it with an

intensity that seems even fictitious

, reaching the

idealization

of the other person, explains the TherapyChat clinical content team led by the expert.

"This illusory enchantment will increase our initial way of feeling emotions, making everything seem much more magical. However, it

will gradually fade

as we approach the reality of our routine and everyday life."

In that return to reality,

doubts and insecurities

will appear , predicts Aranda.

"The fact that the worries, overwhelm and work stress of the day to day return are going to cause changes in our mood and in our energy, which will also affect our romance and take away time and energy to maintain the initial rhythm" .

KEEP THE SPARK

The only way to understand each other is to communicate and be honest.

The ideal would be

to live in the present moment.

Without pretentions.

As naturally and honestly as possible so that we are not disappointed if our partner does not meet the standards that we ourselves had imposed at the beginning of the relationship.

"When the summer ends, our life circumstances change and keeping the spark with our partner can become a complicated process. It is important to accept that

even if the context changes, it does not mean that our relationship has to change too

, we simply have to learn to adapt it and continue with the same desire for it to work", asserts the psychologist.

These are the strategies that Isabel Aranda recommends so as not to lose the magic:

  • Avoid monotony

    : settling into a relationship helps to dilute that spark.

    That is why it is important to continue giving surprises to the couple, dedicating time to taking care of the relationship without taking everything for granted.

    It is necessary to build it every day and not think that this person will always be with us no matter what happens.

  • Maintain a positive state of mind:

    laughing and having a good time with our partner will be a primary factor in keeping the relationship alive, causing a feeling of well-being and pleasure.

  • Make plans continuously

    : when we spend time with our partner, quality matters more than quantity.

    For this reason, it is recommended to go to places that interest both parties and that allow the creation of common memories outside of the routine.

  • Create common spaces

    : make sure you have small moments that are just the two of you, in which romance prevails and desire is kept alive.

  • Letting go

    : in a life where routine is part of our daily lives, it is important to be cognitively flexible and always be open to trying new things to continue with the magic and freedom that we felt during the vacation period.

  • Incorporate in the social and family environment

    : introducing our partner within our close circles will make them become part of our lives completely and this will offer us new opportunities to create memories and share moments together, as well as more opportunities to spend quality time together.

LOVE AT A DISTANCE

Summer is usually a perfect time to start a relationship, indicates this team of psychologists from TherapyChat, since

there is more free time and in general greater openness

to try new experiences.

When social networks are criticized because love seems to be a showcase of feelings in Zygmunt Bauman's liquid modern society, we must also recognize its role in

maintaining a relationship at a distance.

"It is a quite feasible option thanks to the constant communication provided by

new technologies"

.

But, how can we know if there is compatibility after the summer?

The psychologist Aranda provides the keys.

  • Having vital projects in common

    : being physically separated does not mean that common projects cannot be created.

    It is important to set dates to make long-term plans together, talk about a restaurant you want to go to eat on a romantic date or even make plans at the same time, such as watching a series or a movie, to generate a sense of normalized relationship in where the distance is noticed as little as possible.

  • Having a date for a next meeting

    : knowing that there is already a day in which to see each other again makes it easier for our minds to better deal with the distance.

    The tangible reward of a reunion will provide us with the necessary illusion to be able to overcome the sadness and frustration that we can feel when we are far from the person we love.

  • Good communication

    : Apart from communicating through text messages, it is important to hear the person's voice or see them to feel that they are closer to us.

    Making video calls will help keep the other person up to date with our lives despite the distance, always respecting the other's spaces and understanding that it is not necessary to talk every day.

  • Sharing emotions

    : being open and honest with our partner will help to create more stable bonds, to get to know each other better and will favor the union between the two.

    You have to try to always be sincere, clear and have a positive attitude.

  • Trust our partner

    : trust is a key factor that must be worked on in order to maintain a love at a distance.

    Not seeing the other person in our day to day life can cause the appearance of jealousy or fear that our partner will go with another person.

    It is important to understand that we are facing an irrational thought and that, if we are in love with our partner and our partner feels the same way about us, we do not have to be afraid.

MORE COMMUNICATIVE AND EMPATHIC

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Having

good communication will promote trust in the couple

.

If we learn to improve the capacity for empathy, we will be able to have a higher quality relationship, since closer and stronger affective ties will be generated, proposes the team of psychologists.

"In general, you have to keep in mind that

each relationship is a world and that each person is different

and that the only way to understand each other is to communicate and share emotions and thoughts, always

respecting and accepting

the other."

  • Avoid judging

    the other.

  • Listen

    without minimizing your problems.

  • Validate

    the way you feel.

  • Identify and express what we feel

    and think;

    understand and accept that it does not have to be the same as the other person thinks or feels.

  • Express

    clearly

    what we want and expect and listen to what our partner wants.

  • Know how to give in on occasions and use

    assertiveness

    when necessary.

  • Speak

    calmly

    and in a slow tone of voice.

  • Be honest

    and expose our concerns and fears in order to seek joint solutions.

Conforms to The Trust Project criteria

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