Everything we do, from the way we communicate to the relationship we have with our surroundings, influences -even shapes- the behavior of our children.

That is why it is important to observe the situations that we live with them from a new perspective, question them and guide ourselves towards happiness.

Happy children are confident people who do more good than harm;

they respect themselves and others;

they like themselves;

they are positive... They have been educated with care, empathy and common sense by parents who know how to balance parenting and their personal life, without having to make too many sacrifices.

Parent advisor

Magda Gomes Dias

, well known in Portugal for her

Mum's the boss

platform and as founder of the Escola da Parentalidade e Educação Positivas, publishes in Spain her book

Happy Children

(La Esfera), a guide to improve the authority of parents and children's self-esteem, and offers us 14 precepts to apply daily that help to have a better relationship with children and enjoy them.

  • prevent behaviors.

    Don't ask for cooperation only when you need it: work on the relationship at all times so that cooperation comes naturally.

    I am not going to deny that it is difficult at first, but as soon as you reap the fruits of that relationship, everything will be much easier and simpler.

    I guarantee it!

  • Set limits with empathy.

    This means you don't have to yell, pout, or use phrases like, "Do you want to see me get up and get mad at you?"

  • Observe our children and understand their way of being.

    No two children are the same and there is no single way to educate.

    Be aware of what your child needs in terms of the educational guidance you are providing.

  • Respect our children.

    It seems obvious, but many times we are the first to disrespect them.

    Like us, they also have the right to be angry, hysterical, disconsolate, happy... It's about feelings and not behaviors.

  • Be nice.

    The next time we deal with a less easy situation, let's imagine that we are in the shoes of our child.

    How would we like to be treated in that situation?

    This will surely help you when you take action.

  • Be clear and specific in what we say.

    Give alternatives.

  • You don't need many rules.

    When a rule is clear, it is implicit what still can or cannot happen.

    It is very important that we can find (together or not) alternatives, because they are the ones that will reorient the child.

  • Be firm and consistent.

    If it is established that, when they get home, everyone takes off their shoes, then, let's do the same and when the smallest one forgets to do it, it is essential that we not act as if we had not seen it.

    Just say, "John, the shoes!"

    and point towards the entrance.

    The little one will understand what he has to do.

  • The first rule of positive parenting says: happy parents = happy children.

    Have you traveled by plane?

    One of the rules, in case of depressurization of the cabin, is that, first, we put on our oxygen mask and then that of our children.

    Why?

    Because if we are not well, we will not be able to give our best.

    The same thing happens with the education of our children, to avoid tantrums and to feel satisfied in a general way.

    Having time for ourselves is decisive to be able to manage all this.

  • The bond

    is the quality of the relationship between parents and children and the positive relationship is built on it.

    Throughout the book I will discuss the importance of this point.

    With a strong bond everything becomes much easier.

  • Proactive parenting.

    It is a parenting that knows that a child's development takes place in phases and that, therefore, adapts to that evolution and responds preventively to events.

  • Empathetic leadership.

    A leader is one who models behaviors, who makes the face match the mask and who knows exactly what his role is: to educate, guide, guide and demonstrate, making the child discover the best of himself.

  • Impose discipline without punishing.

    When educated from respect, preventing and accompanying, there is no room for punishment.

    Punishment is a power game.

    So how does a child learn?

    Just talking?

    Of course not!

    In life, there are consequences and the child learns a lot from them.

  • Highlight what we want.

    While it is true that positive speech is fashionable, it is also true that it is very positive.

    It represents a true revolution in terms of the way of thinking.

    • Conforms to The Trust Project criteria

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