The country's first visually impaired vocal music graduate, Zhang Chen will return to Anqing Special Education School to continue to be a special education teacher
She "sees" the color of life with music
Zhang Chen graduated with a master's degree.
Her world has been without day and night, light and color for 22 years.
Previously, she was admitted to the 2020-level subject teaching (music) major of the School of Music of Anqing Normal University with the first grades in the first and re-examinations, becoming the first visually impaired graduate student in Anhui Province to pass the national postgraduate admissions examination. The first visually impaired graduate student majoring in vocal music in music teaching.
The past two years have been like an "interlude" for Zhang Chen.
Previously, she was a music teacher at Anqing Special Education School, where she will return after graduation with better teaching concepts, updated teaching methods, and the country's first master's diploma in vocal music for the visually impaired.
For her, the meaning of this diploma is far from a certificate or a master's hat. It is an ideal, a struggle, and a paving stone.
She hopes that the students will know that the visually impaired are not limited to learning Tuina, special schools, and that an undergraduate degree is not their ceiling.
They can jump out of their own limitations, out of society's vision, and strive for a better future for themselves.
The following is Zhang Chen's self-report.
"Look" in a different way
The roles of "student" and "teacher" are intertwined in my life and footnote each other.
When I came to Anqing Special Education School at the age of 13, I was experiencing the first "big earthquake" in my life.
I have amblyopia since childhood, and my vision is only about 0.3, but I can still write and read.
One day in the sixth grade of elementary school, I had retinal detachment due to congestion in the fundus of my eyes.
Walking on the way to school, my eyes suddenly became blurred, like a big fog, and there was only a silhouette of the people and things in front of me.
This continued for three days, and even the outline was gone.
My first thought was not what I would do with my life, but how my parents would take it if they knew about it.
I tried to hide it from them, but as soon as I got home that night, they found out immediately and wanted to take me to Shanghai for surgery.
We went by plane and found the best hospital and the best doctor in the country at that time.
But the operation was unsuccessful.
The retina was attached, but my vision did not recover in the slightest. Since then, I have lost my sense of light, and I can no longer distinguish between day and night.
I used to be a very lively child, but all of a sudden, I felt that my hands and feet were tied and I couldn't go anywhere.
To go anywhere, to do anything, you must turn to others.
I started to get scared, and there was a feeling that there was no way out in life.
At the only special education school in the city at the time, I met my future homeroom teacher.
This teacher has a great influence on me.
I remember a detail, he never said "touch the book", but "read the book".
Maybe he didn't even realize the difference, but to me, the touch of the event was indescribable.
I felt blind at the time, and I have lost the word "see" ever since.
But what he has always conveyed to us is this notion: "You're just looking in a different form, in a different medium."
Another thing that changed my life was music.
I have been fond of music since I was a child, especially musical.
My parents later said that when I was a child, I was a very noisy child, and I couldn’t coax me, but when the music was played, I was quiet.
When I was over a year old, I began to imitate singing. It is said that the tone and rhythm of the imitation were accurate.
When I was just blind, I was irritable every day. Once, I heard Debussy's "Moonlight" by chance. It was like a big gentle hand, and it calmed me down at once.
At that time, there was no music teacher in the special education school, and I regularly went to the provincial capital to study music.
Once every two weeks, from Anqing to Hefei, it takes 4 hours by bus, and 8 hours back and forth.
I was excited inside, even though learning the piano became difficult for me.
From this sound span to another sound, I have to touch one by one to find the feeling and distance between the sound and the sound.
Others can play while reading the score. I have to memorize the score completely, find the relationship between each chord on the piano, note by note, and then put my two hands together and align the positions one measure by one.
This process is repeated countless times before a complete piece can be played.
My vocal music enlightenment teacher also had a great influence on me.
She made me appreciate the "sense of color" that music brings.
When I first saw her, she was singing a song called "Teach Me How to Miss Her", and I remember one line very clearly: "There are some clouds in the sky, and there are some breezes on the ground." When she sang this sentence , It seems that there is really wind blowing in front of me, clouds are floating in the sky, and my hair is flying little by little.
I just realized that music can open another door for me.
After a few vocal lessons, I won the silver medal in the National Campus Singer Competition, which I competed with ordinary students.
This gave me a lot of confidence.
In 2002, before the second year of junior high school, the dean of the school knew that I had a speciality in music, and he told me that you can go to university in the future. The music major of Changchun University is for students with disabilities.
I went, but I didn’t think I could pass the test, I just tried to see what the test was.
The result was very unexpected. I was admitted, and I also took the first place in the country at that time.
"It's about equality"
After graduation, I returned to my alma mater, Anqing Special Education School, and became a music teacher.
I'm visually impaired, I know what my students need, I know what their expectations and desires are.
Influenced by the vocal music teacher at that time, I think that the visually impaired people have been closed to the "door" of vision for a long time, but they have developed strong hearing and memory skills.
My music class can be based on hearing, supplemented by other senses, connected to form a kind of synaesthesia, so as to better experience the world through music.
Some students have never seen the world at all, they don't understand what color is.
But sometimes, they tell me, "This music makes me feel white." I ask, how do you feel?
He said, "You told me that white is pure and holy. I think that's what this piece of music feels like." It surprised me a lot.
Children are imaginative.
Some said that this piece of music reminded them of lollipops, and some said that the prelude to that song made them feel the green of grass, the crystal clear dew.
Even if they don't become musicians in the future, at least they can feel the beauty in life. I think this is the most important thing.
He can't see, but he can get some compensation from elsewhere, knowing that the world is colorful.
Later, I found out that there are many visually impaired children who like music.
Not content with just taking music lessons, I formed an after-school choir.
In the beginning, there were only seven classmates in the choir, seven girls.
One day, a student sang "Seven Colors of Light".
After singing, she suddenly said that there are seven colors of seven-color light, and each of us is one color.
I said that there are seven notes in music, and each of you is one note.
"Colorful Spin", this is the name of our choir.
Later, our choir continued to grow and began to participate in some activities.
One year, a local chorus competition was held, and after fighting for it, we also participated.
The students are very excited and want to get a good grade.
At that time, they sang almost all the time except in class.
Sing in the cafeteria, sing in the toilet, sing while running.
They really did it, and in the game, they sang really well too.
But what I didn't expect was that our school didn't report the score at the end of the game.
We only got a special award after all the schools received the awards.
The feeling of that moment is really hard to describe.
I thought my students didn't understand, but they all did.
A very young child came to me and asked, "Teacher, what is a special award? Are we doing poorly?" Before I could answer, another student asked again, "Teacher, does it matter whether we sing well or not?" Well, the results are the same, only special prizes?"
This question made my heart so heavy that I couldn't answer it.
Then, the third kid asked me, "Teacher, if that's the case, why are we still competing?"
I can understand them very well, because I came here too.
I have participated in various competitions and won various awards since I was a child. What I hate the most is this kind of "special award".
What does this represent?
Really can't tell.
I can't deny the organizer's kindness, but what we need is not such kindness, what we need is an equal opportunity to participate.
I can only tell them, please believe me, next time there is such a competition, I promise you that there will be no special prizes, okay?
It took us a year to prepare for the second game.
On the eve of the game, I found the relevant person in charge and hoped to be able to score according to our original level.
What kind of award is given.
Even if you really sing badly, you can have no award, but don't want a special award, can you?
They agreed.
We went to the chorus competition again.
This time, no matter from emotional expression or technical level, my students performed very well, got the highest score and won the first prize.
This is a very big encouragement for them, because they know that hard work can be recognized, it turns out that this is equality.
Step out of your "comfort zone"
However, being a teacher also encounters a situation of powerlessness.
I have a student, she is very strong, she wants to study music, and then she will be admitted to university.
I taught her to play the piano and taught her to sing.
I told her, go read, read more, there must be no harm.
But one day, her parents came to me and yelled at me as soon as they met: "Who asked you to teach her music? What's the use of studying music? Can you eat it?" , hurry up and make money, and find someone to marry later.
I'm a particularly inept person when it comes to dealing with these issues, I don't know what to do at all, and I can't say anything.
I'm thinking, am I really wrong?
How exactly should I guide these students?
What is the essence of education?
I let them learn more knowledge and have more opportunities to further their studies.
Maybe in the eyes of many people, I am unrealistic because I cannot make money.
But if the visually impaired has always been like this, if there is no other possibility other than doing massage, I feel too sad.
Where is our hope?
But my heart tells me that there may be a lot of criticism, a lot of hurt, but it should still be done.
Fortunately, there is a sequel to this story.
Around 2019, the parents of this student may have seen that the child was really persistent, and they were not so opposed to her learning music, and gradually acquiesced.
She came back to me and went on to study music.
Now, she is going to go to college and want to major in music.
She has more options now than when I was in college.
In 2020, I have been working for 14 years.
I found that my students felt that for visually impaired people, undergraduate education should be the ceiling, and they never thought about whether they could go further.
I was wondering if I could be a pioneer and let them see greater possibilities in themselves.
It was also during that period that I felt strongly that I seemed to be exporting all the time.
I hope to have a systematic study and improvement, so as to bring better teaching concepts and updated teaching methods to students.
Over the years, we have also seen the institutional environment improving.
According to the white paper "Equality, Participation and Sharing: 70 Years of Protection of the Rights and Interests of Persons with Disabilities in New China", in 2017, inclusive education was written into the "Regulations on the Education of Persons with Disabilities" for the first time.
Documents such as "China's Education Modernization 2035" and the "Second Phase of Special Education Improvement Plan (2017-2020)" propose to comprehensively promote inclusive education, so that those with disabilities can return to the mainstream and learn together with ordinary students.
I can't settle for being in the "comfort zone" of special education, I'm going to jump out and take exams and go to graduate school with regular students.
I was preparing for the exam while working, and that was the hardest time.
My alarm is set for 4:45 and I get up at about 5.
I would take a politics class while washing up and go to work listening to it.
My home is very close to the school. Go downstairs, turn a corner, and walk a few steps to the campus. I can go there by myself.
After I get to the office, usually around 5:30, I will learn English for a while.
At 7:00, it is time to start preparing for lessons.
Even the 10-minute break between classes is strictly planned and can be used to memorize two words or read a question.
My classroom is on the 5th floor, my office is on the 2nd floor, and on that stretch, I'll review what I've seen in the morning.
At noon, I went to the cafeteria to buy food. I always listened to the class while eating. After eating, I started to study professional courses.
At that time, I very much wanted to have a whole block of time, and I was always afraid that things would not be finished.
Especially in the sprint stage, the study materials on political and current affairs will not come out until more than ten days before the exam.
I couldn't see it, so my husband read the material to me and recorded it with audio.
I have to copy the material bit by bit in Braille before I can start reviewing it.
At that time, I was always anxious, not knowing if I would finish my studies.
return to special education
This road is very difficult, but in the end, I was admitted.
I chose to major in vocal music because I thought of that teacher.
Years have passed, and I still clearly remember the day when I first felt the flow of colors from music, and how I lived a wider life ever since.
Now that I'm graduating, time flies by so fast.
Looking back on these two years, I really feel very warm and have gained a lot.
I still remember that during the re-examination, during the epidemic period, we could only take the exam online.
A teacher from Anqing Normal University came to my house specially to debug the equipment for me.
After the rankings were released, the school leaders personally sent me an admission notice to congratulate me on being admitted.
I am very happy that the process is the same as that of ordinary students except that the test paper is in Braille.
When the results are announced, my name is with all the candidates.
Before that, Anqing Normal University had never admitted a visually impaired graduate student. I was the first one, but I was integrated into all the students without any barriers or barriers.
I took classes every day, sang, and also participated in competitions and won some awards.
Walking on the campus, the wind blows softly on me, these times are so precious.
After graduation, I will return to Anqing Special Education School and continue to be a special education teacher.
My husband used to work at the Dalian Training Base for Guide Dogs in China and was a dog trainer. We met because of the guide dog "Fighter".
In the second year of my enrollment, he was also admitted to the special education major of Anqing Normal University.
After getting to know me, he seemed to have a "sense of mission" for special education and felt that more people needed to pay attention to and engage in the cause of special education.
Anqing Special Education School currently has nearly 70 teachers, including me, about one-tenth of them are people with special disabilities.
Back when I was a student in a special education school, everything started from the self.
But after becoming a teacher, the focus is on what students need.
What they need, in fact, is just like all ordinary people, to live, to study, to pursue dreams, to fall in love, they need complete equality, and they need to no longer be regarded as "trouble" and "different".
It's not easy, but I believe that as long as you keep going, you will come to that day.
Beijing News reporter Xu Yang