“The dispute”: when children tell of the separation of their parents

Louise Bernard, with Alexis Patri 12:03 p.m., May 18, 2022

How do children relate to the separation of their parents?

What did they understand?

How were they notified?

And how do they cope with their parents rebuilding their lives?

These are all questions addressed by the documentary

, broadcast Wednesday evening on France 2. A touching and often funny film, thanks to the disarming sincerity of the children.

"It's always my mother who draws incomprehensible patterns, like 'my father always comes home late because he's with another girl'. While he always comes home late because he's either on the plane or on the train, or at the office. That's all!", says one of the children.

"Everyone knows it, but my mother says she doesn't want to know, that he betrayed her."

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Director Mohamed El Khatib filmed and interviewed these children for 2 years.

All are between seven and ten years old.

It all started with a theater project.

He had to create a play for children.

To get an idea of ​​the subject, he went to schools, to meet the children, to discover their concerns.

The subject that came up the most is the organization of family life when parents are separated.

This was the case for about half of the children encountered. 

After reflection, Mohamed El Khatib said to himself that the subject of separation was often dealt with through the prism of parents, shrinks, judges… And that children were rarely given the floor.

So that's what he did.

And these children surprised him.

Separated parents interviewed by children

"What struck me was the freedom and authenticity with which the children express themselves. Their speech is extremely simple and direct, in a language that is absolutely not formatted", explains to Europe 1 Mohamed El Khatib.

"I was also struck by their lucidity: how young children of seven, eight, nine years old feel absolutely everything and realize everything: when there is less tenderness between the parents, when there is no more of love, etc. They manage to detect all the warning signs of separation."

However, the parents are not totally absent from the documentary.

"The big shift in this movie was when the kids told me they were tired of talking all the time and now it was up to the parents to talk," says the director.

"Parents found themselves disconcerted in the face of intimate, indiscreet questions, but with which one cannot make a mockery. It is extremely touching to see the parents struggling to explain to the children what a separation is, the why we break up, how the love continues, how we rebuild our lives and how we care about how the children rebuild their lives."

The documentary

is broadcast Wednesday evening at 11 p.m. on France 2.