Learn to identify and break a toxic friendship

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Friendship is one of the feelings that we value the most, along with the love of family.

The luck of finding good friends is a guarantee of joy and well-being that requires mutual care.

They are the ones who give us the support we need in difficult times and help us grow as people.

There is a reason why it is said that

...

However, there are times when friendships not only do not bring anything positive, but also become a source of stress and discomfort.

If it has happened to you, forget it: it was not a good relationship but a

.

When a relationship begins to take this drift, the other person ceases to be a refuge for us, a safe place, and becomes unstable and suffering.

Sometimes the feelings behind that bond are envy, selfishness, emotional dependency,

...

bad influences

Sometimes toxic friendships are revealed when a close person encourages you to do things that can harm you, that is, what is known as a bad influence.

These 'friends' do not represent an outlet, or a consolation for our problems, but they cause or favor them.

Thus, they try to influence the other to carry out acts that will

, work, the authorities, etc.

From

, an online psychological care platform, they explain that a

consists of a bond in which the limits of the other person are not respected, an attempt is made to manipulate the other or turn them into a reservoir of complaints.

In them, humiliation and affective indifference become daily bread.

is also one of the

most visible warning signs.

They are not jokes, nor are they advice that one party directs to the other in a constructive way, but subtle observations that disapprove of your behavior or your opinions, piercing your self-esteem little by little, without big fights.

The result is an

that generates enormous discomfort and saps the energy and enthusiasm of those who have to deal with the toxic person.

Toxic friendships are more frequent than we think and, in fact, sometimes

can behave in a

way in a relationship.

One of the characteristics of these relationships is that they take root without us realizing it due to the emotional bond that ties us to that other person.

While in the eyes of others

, from within it is very difficult to recognize it.

And when we do, we are left devastated, frustrated, and with low self-

This is the reason that some people are not able to

How to get out of a toxic friendship?

• Detecting

  a toxic relationship is the first step to put a stop to all the discomfort that it generates in us.

  And for this, there is nothing as effective as listening to what our emotions reveal.

  Do you continually get angry with that other person?

  Do you feel guilty in her company?

  Do you feel like it controls the relationship and doesn't allow you to be authentic?

  So, you are probably facing a toxic friendship, they detail from

  TherapyChat

  .

  If in addition, they continue, you notice that you always prioritize their needs instead of yours and you feel pressured to do things that you do not like

  just to please them

  It's probably not a healthy relationship.

  However, the determining factor to identify if you have a toxic friendship is to analyze how exhausting the idea of ​​spending time with that person is for you.

  If after each meeting,

  you feel overwhelmed

  , it is very likely that you are dealing with a

  toxic person.

  Once you are aware of this reality, then you will be ready to take the next step:

• Learn to deal with it.

  At this point, it's critical to accept that toxic people

  don't tend to change easily

  , so instead of focusing your efforts on asking your friend to behave differently,

  tell them how you feel

  .

  Telling him how he makes you feel can be a good way to put the relationship in perspective and get him to commit to changing his attitudes.

• It is recommended that you build a kind of protective shield to stay away from that negative influence and also set limits on your bond.

• And, if you still feel that the relationship with that other person is not working and that all your energy is lacking, perhaps the solution is

  to distance yourself.

Adolescence, stage of strong ties

In adolescence, the bonds established between peers are usually very

.

"The idea of ​​pleasing and the desire to belong can cause adolescents to allow behaviors towards them in which they can be instrumentalized, poorly cared for or not respected," says psychologist and educational psychologist

, from the Maribel Gámez Center for Applied Psychology.

In the face of prejudices or stereotypes that draw biases regarding sex, Gámez does not consider it a determining factor: "It depends on the abilities that the adolescent possesses to detect that he is immersed in a relationship where the other has harmful attitudes towards him or her. ".

Therefore, if he has those tools, he will be able to detect it and abandon it, if necessary.

"The ability to be assertive, have good self-esteem and a circle of trust with which to talk about what is happening protect people from these types of relationships," he continues.

But, what if the adolescent lacks these wicks?

In this case,

will be necessary, a task that is not always easy.

The psychologist recognizes that it is not effective to criticize her friends or prohibit them from seeing them.

In fact, if we do, "it is most likely that they will stop telling what they experience to the adult and continue to have the same friendships, which causes them to distance themselves from the protection that their parents can offer them."

Therefore, he recommends that they try to get to know their friends to understand what it is that the adolescent finds so attractive about them.

In the moments in which he suffers, that pain must be attended to and analyze together what the relationship is like and what solutions can be effective so that they stop suffering it.

"Communication at this stage is key to helping them," she concludes.

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