China News Service, Shanghai, April 28th, Question: Fu Limin, a super teacher: How to "psychologically escort" the children in the online class?
Reporter Zheng Yingying
For more than a month of online classes at home, Fu Limin, a special-grade teacher of moral education in Shanghai and a teacher of Shanghai Ganquan Foreign Language Middle School, has received many consultations from students and parents. Sometimes she will receive help messages from children in the middle of the night.
During the epidemic, she and her colleagues were doing one thing: opening an online consultation channel for students and parents on the school's website to ease their anxiety during the epidemic.
In an online interview with a reporter from Chinanews.com, Fu Limin shared some of the content of psychological counseling:
Parents should keep "emotion first"
During the epidemic, how can parents and children adjust their psychology?
Fu Limin said that in fact, when the school was initially suspended, many children were secretly delighted and not anxious. Their first wave of anxiety may have come from their parents.
Fu Limin would like to remind parents of one thing: the attitude of adults towards an emergency has a great impact on children, especially for children in the lower school age group. Children at this stage are still a little unable to identify themselves. mood.
Therefore, parents try not to pass on their anxiety to their children.
She said that at this time, parents have a very important role - the child's emotional guide.
Parents should choose to stand with their children and face it together.
The attitude of the parents and the emotions of the children are the best comforts.
Parent-child issues in online classes
Once, a parent came to Fu Limin for help: the child took online classes, and for two weeks, the swivel chair was rotten by him.
During class, the children put their feet on the table and plausibly said: the teacher can't see the feet, only the face, what's the point of putting them here?
Fu Limin first soothed the parents, and then proceeded step by step.
Their conversation is as follows:
Fu Limin: Can you describe to me what the situation was like at the time?
Have you ever asked your child why he put his legs on the table, is he tired?
Parent: In fact, the child has to attend several classes a day, so he must be very tired, and he has to do homework at night.
Fu Limin: The child rotted the chair. Does he really want to take online classes?
Then he doesn't have to sit there.
Parent: I didn't ask him, I scolded him in the past.
Fu Limin: Then ask the child again.
Parent: I asked, the child said that sometimes the signal is not good.
I also know that I should control my temper, but I've been at home and seeing him like that makes me want to yell at him.
Fu Limin: When your child yells at you, you feel bad too, right?
So when you yell at your child, do you ever think about how he feels?
Your child actually loves you very much, and he yells at you when he can't bear it.
Data map, Fu Limin is giving a lecture to the students for the interviewee
"Effective companionship" is better than "personal companionship"
Fu Limin said that parents need to plan their own time well, and the more regular their lives, the less anxious they are.
Also, parents should do their own thing when it's time to do their own thing, and don't focus all their energy on taking care of their children.
She pointed out that excessive, excessive and cross-border care will actually make children feel a sense of oppression.
In this way, children will feel that their parents are not passing on support, but anxiety.
She believes that "hand-to-hand" companionship is bad, and good companionship needs to be effective and quality.
In her opinion, children need to be given a certain amount of space, "give space to grow and trust, this is a positive and healthy 'adventure'."
Especially during the epidemic, when they are with each other all day, children actually need a little more space of their own.
Once, a child told Fu Limin during the consultation: "Teacher, I'm actually very grateful for the 'grab food' (the online rush to buy food), because at that time, my parents didn't have the energy to 'stare' me. Yes, I was actually being 'back-raised' for a while, and I felt very happy."
The child sighed: "This year's parents are a bit difficult to bring"
During the consultation process, some children will also sigh: "This generation of parents is difficult to bring."
The child said, "I still have a younger sister. My mother was an only child back then. She didn't know how to get along with others. I knew how to let her know."
Fu Limin said to the child, "Then let's treat our mother as a little princess in our hearts."
Fu Limin said that she actually understands the child's mother very well, because she has to take care of two children every day and has work pressure, so she must be a little irritable.
She advocates that sometimes, parents can give their children more trust, for example, they can also ask for help: "Ask for help can make the child feel needed and his sense of responsibility will increase." (End)