“Why don't I get breasts?” What I thought during my childcare leave February 22, 16:52

This somewhat eye-catching title comes from the words I wrote in my diary that I, a reporter Hayase, who works at Aomori Broadcasting Station, kept during the childcare leave for about a month.

Last November, when my second son was born and became the father of two children, I took "male childcare leave."

(Aomori Broadcasting Station reporter Sho Hayase)

Prior to the “first year of male childcare leave”

In this article, I'm going to tell you what I thought and experienced during my childcare leave along with my diary, but there is a reason why I thought this.

From April this year, the "Revised Child Care and Nursing Care Leave Law" will be enforced in stages.

Since this law aims to create an environment where men can take childcare leave flexibly immediately after giving birth, which is a particularly heavy burden on women, it is said that this will be the "first year of childcare leave for men". increase.

In my case, I took childcare leave from the end of November to the end of December last year, so it looks like I took childcare leave prior to the "first year".

It is thought that men will have more opportunities to take childcare leave in the future, and I hope that everyone who may take childcare leave will refer to my experience.

“Reflecting on the birth of the eldest son”

In the first place, some people may want to ask why they took childcare leave.

I was transferred to Aomori in the summer of my life, and now I am in charge of interviewing Aomori prefectural government.

My eldest son was born when I was in Aichi prefecture, where I was in front of Aomori, but I didn't take childcare leave at this time.

It was the first time for his wife to raise a child, and watching him struggle every day made me think "I should have supported him more."

And around the spring of last year, I found out that my wife was pregnant.

I don't want my eldest son, who is two years old, to feel lonely because I'm too busy taking care of my younger child, so I decide to take childcare leave after my second child is born.

About half a year before the expected date of delivery, I offered to her boss "I want to take childcare leave."

And in November, my second son was born.

"Despair" spelled out in the diary

The childcare leave was about one month from the end of November to the end of December, about a week after my second son was born.

I wrote down the events and thoughts I had during this time as a diary in the notebook I used for the interview.

After discussing with my wife and deciding what to do during childcare leave, my responsibility was to breastfeed late at night and put my child to sleep.

On the first day of childcare leave, I gave the breast milk prepared in advance to my second son and put him to sleep at night.

This was the first time I was breastfeeding my second son, but in his diary ...

"Breasts, I can't sleep at all ... a little despair"

"I understand the feeling of postpartum depression"

Even if I breastfeed, I don't cry, and even if I try hard, I can't calm down and I can't put it to sleep.

The feeling of helplessness that nothing can be done for the second son or wife, and the struggle with the drowsiness that attacks.

It seems that the characters were scribbled, probably because of the feeling of despair that I experienced at this time.

On the first day, I thought this was a pity, but I felt that these experiences made me realize the feelings of people who become "postpartum depression."

Faced with the difficulty of raising children, I wanted to reduce the burden on my wife as much as possible, and at this time I felt that I could support more if I had breast milk.

"Wall" that stands against dads with children

A few days of repeated trial and error.

I've come to understand how my second son can drink breast milk and how to put it to sleep.

Then, I was able to relax both physically and mentally, and during the day I began to take his eldest son to parks and other places.

I feel that I was able to spend an irreplaceable time by kicking the ball in the park and playing with the playset with my child.

Now that I'm out, I've been able to change my mood, but when I went out, I often had trouble finding a place to change diapers.

The diary says, "Women's toilets have cribs, but men's toilets don't."

Most men's toilets in parks and facilities do not have cribs for changing diapers.

I had no choice but to change my diapers by having my child stand in the bathroom or hurry home.

In the same way, a man with a small child said, "It's hard for each other, isn't it?"

It is said that it will be the first year of childcare leave for men.

While legislation is being developed, when I witness this situation, I feel that there is still an atmosphere of leaving child-rearing to women.

I felt that I would like the equipment to be improved.

Take childcare leave

I would like to tell you about my experiences and thoughts, but some of the readers of this article thought, "Is it okay to take childcare leave after all?" Some people may be doing it.

Perhaps because I had more opportunities to interact with each other while I was on maternity leave, the number of times my eldest son called me "daddy" increased dramatically.

I was really happy with this.

Above all, I renewed my gratitude to my wife, who has always faced childcare head-on after giving birth.

I was worried about leaving work for a while on childcare leave, but I think it was a great asset to spend an irreplaceable time with my family for about a month.

I am happy to hear from my juniors at work that I have been consulted about childcare leave and asked about childcare leave.

I'm really glad I took childcare leave.

What is your wife's evaluation ...?

What did my wife think about my childcare leave?

She took this opportunity to take the plunge and ask.

Then ...

"I think my recovery was quick, both mentally and physically, because I took childcare leave and helped me raise my child. My older child had mixed feelings about becoming an older brother. It must be, but I think that the reason why there were few "baby returns" was due to my dad's childcare leave. Childcare leave is a very thankful system for the whole family to start long childcare. "

On the other hand, he said, "It's hard to say that women should take childcare leave for men. I want them to create an environment that is easy for them to take at work, and I want men to be willing to take childcare leave." I hoped that leaving would be "natural" rather than "nuisance".

If there is anything I can give advice to those who are thinking of taking childcare leave, it is better to express their intention to take childcare leave as soon as possible.

If you tell them early, you will have plenty of time to take over your work, and I think it will be easier for your boss to take childcare leave.

Don't burden mom

Even if I take childcare leave, I think that just staying at home will increase the burden on my mom, so I think it's a good idea to consult with your family and decide on the division.

However, if you are messing around or enthusiastic about playing games on your smartphone, your childcare leave may become stressful at home.

With the enforcement of the revised law, we hope that the development of an environment that makes it easy for companies to take childcare leave will progress, and that “male childcare leave” that benefits many people will spread.

Aomori Broadcasting Station Reporter

Sho Hayase

Joined NHK

Nagoya Broadcasting Station in 2016, in charge of prefectural government at Aomori Broadcasting Station

Recently, my younger child turned over.