Sweetheart stories: Bicycle helmets are totally unsexy

Like the horoscope of the

, you have to come up with it first: to make Prince Andrew the “birthday child of the week” whose stars you look at.

And then to write about him: "His ascendant is in Leo, but as a Pisces-born Prince Andrew is rather reserved." Exactly, Andrew's reticence is legendary, which is why he also compared the woman who had accused him of abuse will pay an unknown sum of millions in order not to have to appear in court as a reticent person.

Jorg Thomann

Editor in the “Life” section of the Frankfurter Allgemeine Sunday newspaper.

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After all,

still sees “a conspicuous Pluto and Scorpio influence, the sign of hidden machinations and motives”, and says: “Scandal planet Pluto clearly indicates a long, arduous struggle if it wants to win back the favor of family and public. Although the scandalous planet Pluto has only been a dwarf planet since its demotion years ago, another analogy to Andrew, who at best can still be considered a dwarf prince.

Queen's cologne

When the interesting question of where Andrew will get all the money from, you quickly end up with his mother: Does she have to sell her crown jewels now?

And does it have to do with tight budgets that the palace is now allegedly selling cosmetics for dogs?

"The 'Happy Hounds Dog Cologne' perfume is said to have been created by the Queen herself," writes

, and the idea of ​​the old lady mixing cologne with her own hands instead of enjoying her high tea is pretty shocking.

But there is also good news: “How nice!

He comforts her in hard times - Queen Elizabeth - New happiness with an old friend," tones

, demonstrating that even at the age of 95 you are not immune to being accused of a love affair by the tabloids.

Said old friend is said to be the 30-year-old royal equerry, about whose romance with the Queen

writes: "And when Rupert dries her secret tears and makes her laugh, that's a very touching idea." To dry secret Tears are certainly taken with secret handkerchiefs.

The current

enlightens us about the love messages that royal couples are said to give each other.

The Dutchwoman Máxima says about her Willem-Alexander: "If he didn't exist, he would have to be born!" Nevertheless, it's good that he already exists, because a newborn as a husband shouldn't be much help to Máxima.

Prince Daniel of Sweden is said to have said about his Victoria: "We died when we said yes.

And then everyone was reborn in the heart of the other.” We think that's a little too morbid as a declaration of love.

Finally, we would find Kate's rumored compliment, "William is my prince charming," more flattering for someone who is, say, a car mechanic than for someone who is actually a prince.

Merkel's bitter tears

Not like

, the Queen, but the former chancellor caught crying

at least according to her headline “The sad truth – Angela Merkel – tears for her great love”, next to which there is a small photo of Merkel’s husband.

But Mr. Sauer is fine, the sad truth is once again a stupid untruth, because in the text

Aktuell lets Merkel mourn her departure from politics, her "passion" and "life's work".

A new book,

extracts the information: “She likes cranes and penguins.

She finds toads and bats interesting.” Poor toads and bats, compared to the birds she likes, that doesn't sound so great.

Merkel is sure to find Friedrich Merz “interesting”.

Meanwhile, Sylvie Meis, presenter of the "Love Island" dating show, is raising the alarm in

: "Some have actually forgotten how to flirt or kiss during the pandemic." Do they at least still know that it's better to take off the masks?

"I also firmly believe that you can visualize beforehand what your partner should be like," says Meis.

“Then you attract people like that.” If you have forgotten that and instead have dressed someone who is now lounging on the sofa in an undershirt and sweatpants: Unfortunately, it is hardly possible to re-visualize someone afterwards.

Asked by

about her "no-gos" for the first date, actress Katharina Abt immediately presents a list.

Among other things: "He's wearing a bicycle helmet - well, that's subjective, but bicycle helmets are TOTALLY unsexy!" Or: "He comes by car and can't park." The very worst no-go for Abt would then probably be a guy, who comes by car, parks poorly and wears a bicycle helmet.