When mothers start to age faster
Over the past two years, Zhang Liuliu has witnessed the collapse of her mother's body: first, her upper limbs were weak, unable to lift heavy objects, and then she couldn't even tie her head rope.
She walked more and more like an elderly person, and later, she couldn't stand up and walk independently, and she couldn't speak clearly.
At first, the family thought her weakness was due to overwork, until April 2020, when her mother was diagnosed with ALS.
Before that, Zhang Liuliu didn't know much about this disease.
After his mother was diagnosed, he knew that it meant that in the next 3 to 5 years, his mother's body would be "frozen" a little bit until "only the blink of an eye", and finally, died of respiratory failure.
That year, my mother Zhang Yuhong was less than 50 years old.
This young man, a junior at Nanjing Forestry University, realized that "every separation from his mother may be a farewell".
In addition to taking care of his mother, he began to "take the time to record the moments he was with his mother". When his mother swayed from side to side in a chair, when he pushed her in a wheelchair and took her out to sunbathe, and every time he made a WeChat video with his mother, He kept screenshots of his mother's "best smile".
At the end of 2021, Zhang Liuliu cut a video recording his mother and life at school into a video.
In the video, he wears a pair of glasses, is gentle, and always has a smile on his white face.
The video is 8 minutes and 20 seconds long, and the number is my mother's lunar birthday.
The video has been played more than 1.5 million times on station B, and more than 5,000 people have left comments.
People interpret "courage, hope, optimism, heroism" from this video, and share their stories at the bottom of the screen.
Zhang Liuliu liked almost every comment and left a message to a netizen, "Life is precious and cannot be wasted."
He admits that he has "suffered the beatings of life", but still feels that "21 years old is my golden age".
1
At the beginning of January, Zhang Liuliu returned to his home in Yancheng, Jiangsu Province for winter vacation.
During the day, the nurse takes care of the mother, and after 6 pm, his time belongs to the mother.
First, I feed my mother. Because my mother's chewing function is weakened, it takes thirty to forty minutes to eat a meal, and he has to heat the meal three or four times in the middle.
After eating, my mother had debris in her mouth. After he cleaned it with a toothbrush, he rinsed her mouth.
After the meal, he and his father took his mother to the toilet, fed her Chinese medicine, and helped her clear the phlegm from her mouth.
After that, every ten minutes, he pulled his mother up and helped her walk around the house.
晚上9点，是按摩的时间。通常需要按二三十分钟，然后，他打开电热毯，调好温度，把妈妈抱上床，帮她调整好睡姿，都忙完，已经到晚上10点。
张浏浏在两年内，看着妈妈一步步变成现在的样子。2020年1月，他放寒假，妈妈来火车站接他，脸上挂着笑容，看起来和正常人没什么不同。
后来，他才意识到，那是妈妈第一次接上大学的他回家，也是最后一次。
征兆是从2019年夏天显现的。张浏浏的小姨注意到，姐姐总说没劲，炒菜时手抬不起来，切菜也很慢。
2020年初，张浏浏回家后，发现妈妈总是无力，手臂抬不起来，没法扎辫子，有时候骑电动车，车一晃动，人就摔跤。起初，张玉红以为是颈椎病，去盐城一家三甲医院看病，没什么问题。
2020年4月，见症状没有好转，张浏浏陪妈妈去上海一家医院看病，查出来是渐冻症。母子俩都不相信，又挂了一次“专家特需”，结果还是渐冻症。
刚开始，两人都抱有希望，觉得只要配合治疗，能减缓发病速度。妈妈总对他说，“一切都会好的”。
但随着时间推移，妈妈开始不能做饭，洗衣服，说话也吐字不清。因为疫情，张浏浏半年多没有去学校，一边在家上网课，一边陪伴妈妈。
那段时间，家里没有找护工，爸爸很少回家，他全天照顾妈妈，每天给妈妈熬两次中药，熬一次需要两三个小时，每隔二三十分钟查看一次。2020年8月，张浏浏察觉到，妈妈走路像老年人，无法跨上电动车。
为了延缓身体的萎缩，张浏浏经常给妈妈按摩。妈妈生病前，自学会计，给银行做账。生病后，妈妈不能敲键盘，张浏浏不上网课时，就在妈妈指导下做表格。
张浏浏说，那段时间很辛苦。一年下来，他瘦了16斤，头上冒出很多白头发。
疾病不仅夺去了妈妈的健康，也剥夺了他社交、娱乐的时间。
朋友叫他出去玩，他常以照顾妈妈为由拒绝，只出去过一两次。他喜欢视频创作，曾计划大二从金融专业转向广电方向的专业，也因为妈妈生病而搁置。
Mommy is almost everything to him, and before that, he was everything to Mommy.
Zhang Liuliu said that in these years, my mother had almost no life of her own. She was either studying or cleaning at home. She didn't watch TV shows, do Douyin, or buy skin care products. She seldom bought new clothes at home.
Her only hobby is reading, mostly educational.
Every year on his birthday, his mother gave him books and a recharge card from Xinhua Bookstore.
In the year Mo Yan won the Nobel Prize, his mother bought a copy of "Frog" for him, but in fact, his mother did not understand Mo Yan, "her love is sometimes clumsy".
Zhang Liuliu rarely talks about his mother's condition with his friends, and believes that talking "cannot solve the problem".
Sometimes when he was bored at home, he played games for an hour or two at night to "solve", or played the harmonica for ten minutes, and played piano music for a while when he practiced walking with his mother.
He rarely sees the vulnerable side of his mother.
After he went to school, his grandmother took care of his mother.
Once, when the family was eating, Zhang Yuhong burst into tears while eating, saying that everyone was fine, and she still needed someone to take care of her.
In October 2020, Zhang Liuliu went to school.
At that time, when my mother went downstairs, she needed two hands to hold the handrail, going down the steps one by one, and fell without noticing.
She can't use chopsticks, but she can go to the toilet and walk alone.
At that time, Zhang Liuliu didn't realize how fast ALS was destroying his mother's body.
Three months later, when he returned home, he found that his mother could no longer stand up, go to bed, walk independently, and even spoke in one piece.
2
Zhang Liuliu described how he felt when he saw his mother, "I suddenly felt a sense of urgency and loss."
He became his mother's carer again, "more positive than ever".
When helping his mother to walk, he faced her face to face and put her hands on his waist. She took a step forward and he took a step back. It takes 1 minute to walk 1 meter.
After a long time, he became familiar with his mother's behavior and language: he glanced at him and wanted to drink water.
When you sit and shake your head, you remember moving.
One night, he helped his mother from the living room to the room. The light was not turned on in the room, it was dark.
The two sat by the bed to rest, and saw that the living room of the house on the opposite side was brightly lit, and the family of four was at home. The mother stared at the other side and said, "Look, my daughter is back from vacation. The little one is running around on the ground. That's great." After speaking, he stared out the window for a long time, with envy and yearning on his face.
This scene was seen by Zhang Liuliu.
He didn't speak, and stared at the other side. The more he looked, the more sad he felt. He thought that his mother was "kind and beautiful", but she was seriously ill and could no longer obtain such "simple happiness". "There are two worlds on both sides of the window."
That winter, he really felt the ruthlessness and cruelty of ALS, "Mum changed in a month, today you find that she can't walk, and after a while you find that she has to stay in bed, after a while, you I found it was hard for her to breathe."
Video is his way of keeping his mother.
As early as when his mother was diagnosed, he started recording. The first video was when his mother woke him up, and when he saw his mother swinging her arms and moving her body, he thought it was cute and filmed it.
He also photographed his mother basking in the sun by the window, eating biscuits, and exercising, all of which were "happy and meaningful moments."
In addition to recording his mother, he felt that her mother was "reluctantly confined to the house all day long" and "wanted to give her some different feelings." His way seemed innocent and sincere, washing clothes in front of his mother, Unpack couriers, install lamps, buy clothes of different colors for mom to wear, buy movie posters to show to mom, sit in the yard and play guitar for her.
Of all the things he did with his mother, he felt the most romantic one was to hold his mother to the chair by the window and accompany her to watch the blue sky and white clouds outside the window.
Thinking of not traveling with his mother, he felt regretful and wrote on Weibo, "I want to bring the world to you."
Every time he went to a place to take an exam, he shared with his mother which friends he had met and how they lived.
After returning to school, he took IELTS, level six, and computer level two.
Every time he takes the test, he sets the test center in another city to "experience the customs of different cities." He went to Wuhan, Changsha, Chongqing, and Suzhou. The longest journey was a 25-hour green-skin train.
He always cared about his mother.
When he was at school, what he ate for breakfast, how much he spent, and what books he read in the library, "no matter the big or the small, share it with her." A picture of chatting with mom.
He goes home once a month and gives his mother various small gifts such as longevity flowers, grip balls, socks, etc.
He still notices the passing of his mother's life, most notably walking, "steps smaller and smaller, feet lower and lower."
Because Zhang Yuhong's condition is getting worse and worse, in May 2021, the family hired a nurse to take care of her during the day.
At night, the family takes care of Zhang Yuhong.
In October 2021, Zhang Liuliu went home for his mother's birthday and bought a birthday cake with the words "the best mother in the world" written on it. At that time, her mother couldn't even blow the candles.
At the end of the month, he was studying in the school library and sent a hug to his mother, who replied with a hug.
It was only a week later that he learned that it had been knocked out by his mother with the knuckle of one hand, the last message she could send herself.
后来，妈妈去医院治疗，张浏浏总担心妈妈不会走路，小心翼翼问，你今天站起来没？
今年寒假回家，他发现妈妈还可以走路，“心里很开心”。此时的妈妈走1米的时间超过2分钟，但张浏浏觉得，只要妈妈能走，就意味着“还没有丧失行动能力”。
3
2021年年末，在朋友的鼓励下，张浏浏决定创作一条视频，纪念21岁。他想过视频里不出现妈妈，但后来觉得，“这才是我真实且完整的21岁。”
视频里的妈妈总是笑。他说，妈妈生病后，他每天只做一件事，“让她开开心心度过每一天。”他把考证、旅游、和妈妈相处的点滴时刻都剪到视频里，配上欢快的音乐。
剪完后，他没发给妈妈看，“怕妈妈看到后伤心，自己在学校，没办法安慰她。”几天后，视频上了热搜，亲戚们看到后转给妈妈，妈妈才看到。
他给妈妈看有关他的新闻报道，跟妈妈说，“报道是对你的认可，都知道你对儿子的教育很好，你是个好妈妈。”听到这话，妈妈哭了。有的报道里写着“迟早一天不能行动”的字眼，他给妈妈看时，迅速滑过。
视频发布后，很多人跟他分享自己的经历，说被他的生活态度打动，“一起加油”的弹幕占据了屏幕。
妈妈生病后，家里积蓄渐渐被掏光，要靠亲戚帮衬，有网友私信张浏浏，想给他捐款，张浏浏婉拒，“不能随便接受别人的东西。”他还谢绝了一家公司主动递来的offer，准备考研，并为此去电视台实习，导演话剧，读学术类书籍。
突如其来的社会善意让他“诚惶诚恐”，但更多的是感动，他激动地跟朋友说，“我一定要改变社会，为中国的文化事业献身”。
他想拍一部科普渐冻症的片子，“让更多人了解渐冻症患者这个群体。”更长久的一个梦想是，拍一部电影，把妈妈的故事讲给更多人听。
很多人问他，是什么支撑他走过这两年。他总说，是妈妈的爱。以前，他在盐城读一所私立高中，妈妈专门去陪读。那段时间，妈妈没有工作，白天在学校做清洁工，晚上自学会计，后来才开始给银行做账。
每天晚上，他放学回家，桌上都摆好饭菜。有一次，妈妈的右手出现腱鞘囊肿，还要操持家务，张浏浏很心疼，但妈妈坚持用左手给他做晚饭。
Mom never made him feel stressed.
When he was in high school, he couldn't adjust to school life for a while, and came home feeling down.
Mom communicated with him by writing small notes.
"Dear son, my mother was long-winded again last night. Mom can't remember it when she's busy. I'm really sorry. I'll make corrections in the future and try not to be long-winded, okay?" "Mom and dad love you very much, don't doubt yourself. You must have confidence in your ability." "If you have any unhappy things, you can tell your mother at any time, and she is willing to listen."
Even if he was sick, his mother gave him "positive feedback", praising him for his delicious food and good pounding of his legs.
He remembered that during a nap, he vaguely heard the sound of "hum, haha," coming from his mother's house. He thought his mother was crying, so he quietly walked to the door to see, and when he opened the door, his mother smiled at him.
He's been racing against time to make his mother feel more happy before she freezes completely.
After the video was released, a photography blogger said he wanted to take a photo of his mother.
He immediately contacted the blogger and discussed that by matching his mother's clothes, he would take pictures of her from 20 to 70 years old, so that she could experience every stage of life in advance. "At least 60 years old, she will definitely not be able to pass."
He is still making surprises for his mother.
On the evening of January 23, he heard the neighbors set off fireworks. He also went to the supermarket to buy a bunch of fireworks and lit them on the steps of the stairs facing his mother's window. Voice.
He replaced the lights in his mother's room with "warmer and brighter colors" to "put mom in a good mood in the room."
They are taking the time to express their love for each other.
Two days before the start of the winter vacation in 2021, Zhang Liuliu fed his mother Chinese medicine, and his mother took two sips of the medicine, saying that he would write to him and ask him to write it down on his mobile phone.
It took the mother and son 20 to 30 minutes to complete the oral statement. At first, there were only 16. Later, every time he came home, his mother asked him to read it again, and the number increased to 19.
The letter contains everything a mother can think of, from the admonition of "not staying up late, gambling, or drinking" to the admonition of "being honest, trustworthy, and character first." She also instructed her son that after he gets married in the future, "to educate him. First of all, it is better to raise children successfully than to have money.”
The first is, "Mom loves you very much."
Before that, love was not a common word in their lives, but when my mother was sick, she sat down and said "I love you" to him.
Later, they always say "I love you", at mealtime, before bed, while chatting.
Many of the videos he recorded end with "I love you".
Zhang Liuliu understood that when her mother said these words, she was afraid that "one day she would not be able to say it".
He smiled and said to his mother, "I love you too."
Yin Haiyue, reporter from China Youth Daily and China Youth Daily