"I give the orders, you carry them out!" A sentence that still rings in Daniel Herrmann's ear today when he thinks of a former superior. For more than 20 years, the Viennese, whose real name is different, worked as a so-called home helper. This is an Austrian job description in which mobile caregivers support people who are health-impaired or live in difficult social circumstances in everyday life. He enjoyed his work, even if 12-hour shifts on ten days at a time were not uncommon. A long time ago, his 40-strong team got a new manager. At first the relationship was good, Herrmann received praise, the boss was impressed by his experience, his enthusiasm and was open to changes.
But the encouragement decreased, was replaced by criticism, the team leader reacted offended to suggestions for improvement, he was generally easily irritated. "In retrospect, it was classic love bombing - first love is poured over it, then it is systematically withdrawn so that the other person desperately tries to win it back," Herrmann is sure of today. He has meanwhile dealt intensively with the topic of narcissism.
At that time, demotion quickly followed; As a doctor of theology, he was told: “You studied and do this dirty work?” Targeted manipulations followed later: on his day off he was called and asked where he was – the approved application for leave had disappeared. Sometimes he rang the wrong patient in the morning because the digital roster had been changed overnight. If a medication had to be approved by phone, the boss could not be reached for hours. Herrmann was unsure, blamed himself, became anxious and cautious. “I thought I was overworked and actually making mistakes. Just gaslighting, he managed to totally unsettle me," he recalls today, naming another tacticattributed to people with a narcissistic personality.
Whether Donald Trump, Elon Musk or Jeff Bezos: all narcissists - at least that's the opinion of many people.
Like the eponymous Greek youth Narcissus, who fell in love with his own reflection, they are also considered by a large proportion of the public to be self-centered, narcissistic and hardly able to empathize with the feelings of others.
The common picture: They only pursue their own interests, the others are either admirers or stirrups.