The writing of
20 Minutes
accompanies you during the end of year celebrations.
Because this period can be complicated, we have chosen not to let you down and to show you that Christmas sometimes fucks you too.
In this third episode of our “Christmas version indigestion” series, we look at a recent concept: natalophobia or Christmas phobia.
A recent psychiatric disorder, little known and little studied, but which
20 Minutes
describes to you with the help of two psychiatrists.
The Christmas tree gives you buttons?
And the decorations in the streets of cold sweats?
While many people dislike or no longer like Christmas, for some this rejection goes further.
They are called natalophobes.
A recent concept which still poses many questions.
What is natalophobia?
On the definition side, “in the strict sense, it is an excessive, irrational fear, which will provoke anxiety attacks at the sight of objects which make one think of Christmas: the Before calendar, Christmas tree, decorations…, introduces Fanny Jacq , psychiatrist and director of mental health at Qare, a teleconsultation site.
We include in this concept people who can not stand Christmas to the point of depression, anxiety, to remain cloistered at home.
"
It must be said that there are many reasons to hate this period. Mourning and separations, which means that some relatives are no longer there to share the log. Time to take stock and ask indelicate questions like "Still single?" ". But above all the discrepancy between the perfect image of a warm, peaceful and benevolent New Year's Eve and the reality of families who are wrapped up around the turkey.
“Making a gift is also something complicated, adds Christophe Bagot, psychiatrist in Paris.
Not only is there a financial effort, but it's an act of empathy.
Often a source of disappointment… and revealing of family tensions.
“Gift trafficking can be painful when it shows a grandparent's preference for a child.
To find a suitable gift, it is also necessary to know the person well.
The other may feel cheated or unrecognized.
I don't remember a single gift from my mom that I didn't put in a closet straight away, and I'm 63!
"
Is this a real phobia?
But can we put this “natalophobic” label on all those who hate Christmas? “I have never seen anyone consult for natalophobia, a term that I was unaware of, moreover, contradicts Christophe Bagot. On the other hand, many patients in December speak of their worry, their anguish, their distaste for Christmas, but as something incidental. This brings us back to an image of constraint, of things to do, of worries. »From there to speaking of phobia, there is therefore a step. Moreover, the concept, recent, has not yet been studied by medicine. “Natalophobia remains quite rare, but it does exist!” Insists Fanny Jacq. It might sound a little funny on the outside, but it's crippling, and it's nice to have given this phenomenon a name. Patients know that they are not alone with this problem. "
So how do you tell a grumpy person from a phobic person? “Natalophobia is an anxiety disorder, often linked to trauma,” sums up psychiatrist Fanny Jacq. It's not just "I don't like Christmas TV movies". Some people claim their opposition to this feast of consumption, as they reject Valentine's Day. But New Years Eve does not hurt them physically and mentally. A natalophobe, if he spent December without the Christmas stories, would be fine. So it's distinct from the seasonal depression, which begins in October. And the doctor to recall the story of a patient who developed a phobia of flashing garlands. “By pulling the wires in therapy, she made the connection with a serious bicycle accident ten years earlier. " In reality,his accident had nothing to do with Christmas, but the flashing lights reminded him of the emergency lights on Samu. "This patient therefore avoided Christmas every year", continues the psychiatrist.
If Christophe Bagot is quite skeptical about the concept of natalophobia, he recognizes that “certain behaviors can be reminiscent of phobia. In particular the fear of not being able to escape it, and therefore the search for avoidance. Some decide to go to the end of the world: one of my patients leaves with the UCPA to escape the family reunion… ”Second point which evokes the phobia, the fear preceding the event. Like "a person with a phobia of flying and who experiences anticipatory anxiety as soon as they buy the ticket", continues Christophe Bagot. One can imagine the hell that people who are allergic to Christmas decorations go through when the streets are lit up with a thousand lights in November ...
And then a phobia, it is never easy to assume.
When we talk about the plane, snakes or spiders, we can be a little embarrassed.
But when it comes to the magic of Christmas, it's even more complicated… “It's kind of double the trouble, like postpartum depression.
It is very guilty to assume it, because Christmas is considered a happy event, ”emphasizes Fanny Jacq.
How to endure Christmas when you are natalophobic?
The most important thing, when you suffer from natalophobia, is to put your finger on the reason, the trauma that explains it. And in the meantime? Do we hibernate? "It's important to take responsibility without feeling guilty about what is hidden behind your Christmas phobia," advises Fanny Jacq. And from there, express your needs, find alternatives. "If it's a source of anxiety because you don't have the money to give gifts' as it should be ', you can work on your assertiveness and say:' I don't have to. 'money so I will come, but I will make you a cake or a song… ". If the problem is loneliness, you have to dare to ask friends and colleagues to see if there is not a little place for yourself. If we have been in mourning, we can celebrate Christmas differently,for example by offering to go see a show on New Year's Eve… ”
What if the family reunion gives you insomnia?
Come just for the aperitif.
"You can also choose to come for four hours rather than four days with your family," adds Christophe Bagot.
The less one feels imprisoned and stuck in a ritual, the better one will feel.
And one can negotiate on the most appropriate ways of exchanging the gifts.
If we do!
"
Paris
Have you thought about "made in Ile-de-France" for your gifts?
Society
They prefer to spend Christmas Eve with their friends rather than with their family
Society
Christmas
Psychiatry
Health
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