A group of young people with an average age of 25 help the elderly to go on a blind date
"Whether it is 23 days or 23 years, the feeling of loneliness is the same."
"We don't need food and drink, we don't need a company."
"You are not my food, I am so frank."
……
These "Golden Sentences" are all from the old blind date program "It's Not Late" on the Life Channel of Jilin Radio and Television Station.
Such a seemingly ordinary blind date show has quietly become popular.
Not only has it attracted a large number of loyal fans who follow it every day, but multiple episodes of programs have also become popular on the Internet.
It is understood that the most popular episode of the show has more than 10 million hits on the entire network. The official Douyin account of the show group, most of the number of likes for each short video exceeds 10,000, and some even exceed 100,000.
This program reflects the current situation of the emotional life of the elderly, and many people laughed, laughed and cried.
Some netizens expressed emotion and realized after watching the show that the need to love and be loved is never distinguished by age.
Focusing on the elderly and creating this old-age blind date show ingeniously, it is a group of young people with an average age of about 25.
According to Gao Pengju, the producer of the program group "It's Not Late", it is sometimes more important and meaningful to approach the elderly and understand their real life and psychological needs than satisfying their food, clothing, housing and transportation.
The loneliness of the elderly young people do not understand
Previously, Gao Pengju was the director of a show for young people dating.
During the dating show for young people, he often received hotline calls from the elderly, asking why the TV station did not help the elderly on blind dates.
He felt that many single elderly people want to find another wife and have a companion for the rest of their lives.
In 2019, "It's Not Too Late" entered the preparations, with more than 30 young directors, matchmakers and cameras joining, but no blind date guests.
The program team also hesitated, wondering whether it can find enough applicants as a daily blind date program, and how high the holding rate can be.
In order to find blind date guests, Gao Pengju brought the staff of the program group to the blind date corner in the park to recruit.
With his parents alive, Gao Pengju couldn't imagine how lonely single elderly people really were.
I ran into a single aunt at the blind date in the park, and Gao Pengju saw another world.
Auntie went back and forth in front of the program group's publicity board many times, but she stopped talking.
Gao Pengju took the initiative to chat with her.
The old man was widowed and raised his son alone.
Today, her only son has been married and had children, and her career has entered a rising period, bringing her from her hometown to Changchun to live together.
One day, the old man tentatively discussed with his son and said that he wanted to find a wife.
But I didn't expect my son to be very angry, complaining about her, not lacking in food or drinking, why would he want to throw this person away.
During the day, the old man's son goes to work and his grandson goes to school, and only herself is left at home.
The old people are not sociable. Apart from going out to buy groceries, they just stay at home to clean and cook.
The old man was at home alone, and couldn't help thinking wildly. When he was uncomfortable, he would cry loudly, crying for half an hour, and his tears were wiped away. Everything was business as usual.
Because of her son's opposition, the aunt has not been able to sign up for a blind date.
The son is very filial, but he just can't understand his mother's emotional needs.
Gao Pengju found that his children opposed their parents' remarriage and had many considerations of their own, such as feeling unnecessary, worrying about their parents being deceived, and being unable to accept a stranger at home.
The program team hopes that "It's not too late" can become a window to allow more young people to see the emotional needs of the elderly.
There are 13 matchmakers in the show group, most of whom are 25 or 16 years old. In the past, except for their parents, they rarely had close contact with the elderly.
They often hear the guests on blind date lament that the loneliness of the elderly cannot be understood by the young.
But later, the matchmaker and the elderly became year-end friends.
In front of the matchmaker, the old people would say the grievances and sadness that had been in their hearts for many years, and they couldn't help crying.
An old man over 70 who signed up for a blind date, and his wife have always been respectful and have never quarreled.
When seeing the matchmaker Wu Yuexiu, the old man could even tell a series of numbers clearly: He spent 53 years with his wife, a total of 636 months, 19345 days.
Five years ago, the uncle's wife was paralyzed in bed with cerebral infarction, unable to move, unable to speak, he had been waiting by his wife's side to take care of him, "Feed her 7 times a day, two milk, two juices, three meals a day..."
When visiting, Wu Yuexiu couldn't understand why this old man, who had a "very good relationship" with his original partner, was eager to find a new partner shortly after his death.
The old man explained that after his wife had a cerebral infarction, his legs and arms were not working well, and he could not speak even after lying in bed.
After the death of his wife, he felt that being alone in an empty room was "like a prison."
Regarding blind dates, the uncle also has concerns: "My wife passed away 23 days ago. Others may say whether your man is a bit sloppy. Why did you start looking for someone when your wife passed away?"
Wu Yuexiu introduced an aunt of the same age to the uncle.
When we met, the aunt's words struck everyone's tears—"No matter if it is 23 days or 23 years, the feeling of loneliness is the same. You can understand it if you have experienced it yourself." This made the uncle meet. To the feeling of a bosom friend-"It's been 5 years, finally someone can talk to me!"
77-year-old Chang Fu is an old Chinese doctor.
When matchmaker Tiantian visited his house, she saw flowers on the balcony.
But the old people don't like flowers. They grow flowers just to pass the time.
It took only 38 days for Chang Fu's wife from the diagnosis of advanced liver cancer to his death.
His wife suddenly passed away, and Chang Fu felt that he was a lonely wild goose. His wife flew away and left him alone.
Often rich with 4 children, promising and filial.
The old man said that no matter how filial his children were, he couldn't stay by his side forever.
In order to pass the loneliness, he would go to the clinic early every day, waiting for someone to come for consultation.
I am most afraid of going home from get off work, because no one is waiting for him to prepare warm meals.
The matchmakers found that single elderly people with hobbies are also afraid of loneliness.
Some elderly people watch TV every day and talk to people in TV dramas so as not to lose their language function.
There are also elderly people driving around the community in a scooter, sending people with heavy objects home, just to find someone to chat with.
The real needs of parents, do we understand
"Do we understand the real needs of parents?" When the program was preparing, this question left the staff at a loss for words.
Many children believe that their parents have no worries about food and clothing, and that health care is guaranteed to be safe.
But the elderly prefer to have a companion in their later years to eat, walk, and chat together.
I also look forward to the fact that my family members can understand and support them to realize their wishes when they are unable to do so in time.
"Pay more attention to the wishes and needs of your parents, and don't leave any regrets." It is difficult for Gao Pengju to let go of thinking of the neglected wishes before his grandfather's death.
Grandpa lived in the countryside, and always wanted to visit the Forbidden City when he was alive.
My family didn't understand why they had to go all the way to Beijing to see the Forbidden City before they had finished their shopping in Changchun.
Now, what he can do is not to leave regrets on his parents.
Most of the elderly who signed up for the show got the consent of their children.
There are also many elderly people whose names are helped by their children.
Many of them are middle-aged widows. Considering that their children are underage, they choose to raise their children alone and grow up until their children work, get married and have children.
Sun Shuqing, 69, has been single for more than 20 years.
After the death of her husband, she raised three minor sons alone.
After the son got married and had children, Sun Shuqing helped take care of his grandson and granddaughter.
Now, the old man feels that the task is complete, and wants to find a wife to live his own life.
Seeing the mother's self-denial and dedication, the three sons all supported their mother to find a wife again.
The eldest daughter-in-law saw an uncle who lives in Jilin City on the show, who had the same conditions as her mother-in-law in all aspects, so she hurriedly called to sign up for the show.
During the blind date, the eldest son and eldest daughter-in-law went with the elderly specially.
In September of this year, the program team held a collective wedding. Eight pairs of elderly people who succeeded in dating, dressed in red wedding dresses, walked into the marriage hall again under the witness of relatives and friends.
Among them are Sun Shuqing and her new wife.
In the two years of doing the show, the matchmaker Tiantian came into contact with many paying old people like Sun Shuqing.
They have been dedicating to their children. As they grow older, their physical, mental, and self-care abilities are gradually losing, but most of the young people’s concerns are on themselves and their children.
Seeing the different situations of blind date guests, Tiantian can always think of her parents.
In her eyes, her father is not good at expressing, and can say good things so that people don't like to listen; her mother is gentle and generous, and can tolerate her father.
Closer to her mother, Tiantian likes to take her on trips.
But if he doesn't see his wife for more than 3 days, his father will tell Tiantian and mother to go home quickly because of physical discomfort.
Sweet parents are also fans of "It's Not Late", they like to watch the show while discussing, regret for the blind date guests who didn't hold hands in the show, and reflect on their old life.
Tiantian, half joking and half earnestly persuaded his father to cherish his mother.
She understands that in the future, she will also get married and set up a new family. The main thing to accompany them through the rest of their lives is each other.
Now, Tiantian will save her travel expenses to her parents, so that they can go out to play more while they are in good health.
The 25-year-old Liu Yongpei feels that he has become a lot older in the past two years.
As a matchmaker, she cried and laughed with the old man at the blind date, slowly understanding the meaning of loneliness and love.
She used to go straight back to the room after get off work every day, too tired to talk to her parents.
At the weekend, I will go out to party with my friends.
Now, no matter how late he gets home, Liu Yongpei will gently walk to his parents' room to greet them.
I take my parents out for dinner on weekends and like to be with them.
Learn from grandpa and aunt to love life
While feeling the loneliness of the elderly and bringing them comfort, the young people in the program group also learn from the elderly how to love life.
When he first joined the program group, Liu Yongpei was assigned to the guest group and was responsible for contacting registered guests by phone to get basic information.
At that time, most of the little girls in the guest group had just graduated from college. They guessed that the life of the elderly should be very boring, nothing more than walking, basking in the sun, thinking about their children and grandchildren.
This is not the case.
After the contact, the matchmakers found that many elderly people, like young people, like to travel, take pictures, sing, go shopping, eat a variety of delicacies, and fill up their schedules every day to make their senior lives "hi".
Last month, Liu Yongpei visited an aunt in her 50s. She was very well dressed and must wear lipstick when she went out.
Auntie studied at the University for the Elderly. She usually likes to sing Peking Opera. She also taught herself to play Yueqin.
Recently, she plans to learn another musical instrument.
She also interviewed an aunt, who often broadcast live on short video apps, which lasted 3 hours, chatted with fans about news and interesting things, and was also able to operate video editing software proficiently.
"The state of the aunts is too worthy of our young people to learn." Liu Yongpei feels ashamed. Sometimes after she gets up, she doesn't bother to wash her face, so she goes directly to the unit's computer room to cut the film.
When resting, lying at home, watching TV, and sleeping, the bed is her favorite.
Now the matchmakers in the program group have begun to have a "crisis" of interest. Those who have no hobbies have begun to develop hobbies, and those who have hobbies have begun to develop other hobbies.
They said that when they get old, they will also be fashionable old ladies, with radiant faces, a wide range of hobbies, and a self-disciplined life.
Many people say that when the elderly find a wife, it is nothing more than finding someone to live with and talk about love.
Tiantian does not agree with this.
She found that the standard of blind dates for the elderly is not low, and they also value whether the body and appearance of the other person are in line with her own "eyes."
The woman expects the man to be sincere, and the man hopes that the woman will be reasonable and able to spark the spark of love.
Although not married, Tiantian seems to have a lot of understanding and clarity about love and married life.
Many widowed elderly people do not have vigorous words when they remember their wives, they are all small details in their lives.
For example, the aunt likes to eat salted duck egg yolk. When she is not eating at home, the uncle will eat the egg white and keep the egg yolk for her.
Some old couples will hold hands when they go to the park, and they will take a set of wedding photos on their wedding anniversary...
When dealing with the elderly every day, the young people in the program group find it fresh and interesting.
For them, the biggest gain is "learned to cherish the present and care for their parents".
Tian Tian said that to enjoy the young time in life, we must also continue to accumulate and learn, like many blind date guests, and age gracefully.
China Youth Daily·China Youth Daily reporter Wang Peilian Source: China Youth Daily