Mature women with much younger men and vice versa: why are they still seen as 'cougar robbers' and they as 'silver foxes'?

Emmnanuel Macron

turns 43 today, December 21; 25 less than

, his wife.

is 24; 31 years younger than her husband,

. Meanwhile, half the planet wonders what such a young man is doing with a 68-year-old woman (just as it is surprised that the Herculean

, 53, is happily married to

, 66), Cassell and Kunakey is trading higher in the advertising market because of the

they exude.

While Emmanuel is branded, little less, that of 'calzonazos' and Brigitte, turned into an object of ridicule and hoaxes (the last one, who is trans), cannot get rid of the label of '

', the

of Cassel is observed with admiration for having the feline twenty-year-old model with him.

Leaving aside the physical attractiveness factor (for tastes ...) of both couples, what is clear is that the age difference is observed with some eyes or others depending on who is the 'senior' of the relationship and that, as much as we have advanced,

is still ugly to go out with young men but

with his 34-year-old girlfriend looks great.

Psychologist and director of EnPositivoSí, Isabel Serrano-Rosa does believe that things are changing: "

. New variants are being handled that are debated within each relationship and, more and more, new ones are generalized formats such as a more pronounced age difference ".

Traditionally, he continues, "the couple was understood as a

as the main objective. Being linked to age, women used to be younger than men."

Dating a younger man was considered "

. Even these types of relationships were described as incestuous, something that, fortunately, has changed a lot."

Now, he assures, "it is seen as something more normal and there are many more couples than we believe in who

. Accepting it as something everyday is one of the signs of our time."

However, although it is normalizing, the sexologist Ana Sierra maintains that, still, it is more common for "men to choose younger women for a cultural issue related to fertility and the veneration of youth.

but one lives with surprise and a certain incomprehension when it happens the other way around, as we can see in cases like Macron or the actor Hugh Jackman, because there is an

. "

Isabel Serrano-Rosa reports that, in her experience working with couples in which she is between seven and 10 years older than him, "there is no problem different from that of other types of couples."

So, is there a maximum age difference that can be 'insurmountable'? "At the University we studied that age did not usually mark a gap if the difference was

since there was no generational leap, although there are couples who are still older and who also work." The reason? "The differences of maturation or evolution. The more age there is, the more effort must be put into solving those differences that occur in

", he points out.

Whether we like it or not, cases like that of the Macron show us that "this society still

women a lot. It is absolutely

and presupposes that, at each age, we have to do predetermined things. And that despite the fact that we We rebel more and more against that

. But, unfortunately, there is still this perception that a mature woman with a younger man is a cougar. "

For those who still, at this stage of the game, are surprised that a man can be attracted to a mature woman (or the other way around, although this assumption does not seem to cause such a stir), Serrano-Rosa explains that "these couples find a perfect balance , a kind of

, precisely in that, in which one is greater ".

Women sometimes choose younger men because "they find in them a certain

; a perspective of 'giving themselves permission' to be freer, without being marked by the stigma of what to do. every moment. It's a

. "

For their part, men who fall in love with older women "

They are attracted to the security they have in themselves and the freedom that they are not 'pressured' by the need to be mothers. they can be great companions when developing a professional career ".

When do problems start to arise?

"When the age begins to suppose a real problem or the evolution is different and the expectations are not fulfilled. It is very important to catch the same

and couple

and to move forward, at the same pace, in the same direction."

Things also get complicated when "the relationship acquires a

because, by the law of life, children always end up distancing themselves from their mother."

What is the secret of the success of couples like the Macron?

In family therapy, Philippe Caille says that "one plus one equals three", that in the dynamics of every couple there is a dimension that is beyond the control of the two people who form it and that is reflected in the common story that they must invent from the moment of their first meeting until the end.

"That of Macron and madam is the type of relationship in which he has found a balance between

."

DIFFERENCES IN THE BED?

And what about sex? "If they are not conditioned by all the stereotypes of menopause, which are not few, mature women experience an explosion of their sexuality, favored by the

, increased self-esteem and the desire to experiment, which it makes you enjoy them more than at any other time in your life. And today,

help mitigate the physical effects of the drop in estrogen. "

The sexologist Ana Sierra goes further: "It is evident that, over the years, men experience a decrease in their levels of testosterone which, on the contrary, increases in women by decreasing estrogens. They talk about the lubrication problems that the hormonal change that marks the end of the childbearing age can cause, we should pay more attention to the

".

In this scenario, he assures, "the encounter of a man in his 20s or 30s, full of testosterone, with a woman in his 40s or 50s, freer than what they will say, confident and experienced, can be a real bomb. Because, from a certain age - freed from the pressure of being a mother -

".

And what happens then the other way around, when they are the oldest?

"Men, by losing testosterone and not being able to 'trust' so much in the power of their erection, develop their

. They seek more quality when before, testosterone pushed them to chase the quantity. Which is not bad at all ".

But beyond sex, Sierra recommends assessing what life partner we need.

"It is evident that an older person has already gone through

(children, mortgages, work, etc.) that have marked him in a very deep way and that, if they are not shared as a couple, it is very difficult for it to work" .

Moral ZEN?

She, older;

the youngest.

The oldest;

she, younger.

What happens in the couple, stays in the couple.

That and that, as Quevedo said, "envy is so skinny and yellow because it bites and doesn't eat."

According to the criteria of The Trust Project

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