Solène Delinger 7:17 p.m., December 21, 2021

Out of fear of hurting or disappointing, we sometimes accept things that are not right for us. But taking it upon yourself can have devastating effects on our mental health and melt away our self-esteem. This is called the emotional charge. Invited in "Bienfait pour vous" on Europe, the psychologist Christèle Albaret delivers five tips to get rid of it and live in a much lighter way. 

Specific to our personality or to the education we have received, the emotional load, this tendency to always take upon oneself, carries risks for our mental health and our well-being.

Loss of self-confidence and anxiety are symptoms of this emotional overflow that rots our lives.

How to free yourself from it?

Invited in

Bienfait pour vous

sur Europe, psychologist Christèle Albaret delivers five tips to say goodbye to emotional stress. 

Learn to say no

The emotional charge is an invisible weight that we all have within us, when we take on ourselves so as not to offend those around us, for example, or when we accept anything and everything for fear of saying "no".

Whereas to say "no" is something very healthy: one simply discharges oneself.

When we manage to formulate this "no", we respect ourselves and we respect the person in front of us. 

Do not let yourself be guided by your fear 

We tend to make decisions, to take actions to avoid our fears, rather than to meet our needs.

A concrete example: let's imagine that my greatest desire is to go on stage but my greatest fear is to be ridiculous.

The best way I can not be ridiculous is never to go on stage.

In reality, I suppress my need to be on stage and therefore I go against my needs.

This generates anger, frustration and deterioration of self-esteem. 

Expressing your emotions 

Better to express your emotions awkwardly rather than hold them back.

A feeling of helplessness sets in when we think about negative emotions: we feel trapped, stuck.

Verbalizing your feelings is liberating.

Our emotions are valuable information and a call to action.

When I'm angry, I have to question myself about how I'm feeling.

What is this emotion?

It is not here to last.

Once I formulate it and accept it, it can go away.

She has been treated and life can go on. 

To be in harmony with oneself

The emotional charge is transmitted in the family circle.

If you don't agree with yourself, your child will feel it.

Telling him that he has to be firm and honest is worthless if, for example, your friends are coming over to dinner and then, after everyone has left, you argue and criticize them.

Your child, witness to the scene, agrees that his parents will judge him in turn once he has left the room. 

Never settle into a role of savior

If someone in front of us complains all the time and we feel that they are transmitting their negative emotions to us, it is better to move away from them.

This person has Calimero syndrome, she is looking for attention and recognition.

The problem is that you always start by putting yourself in the role of the savior before giving up (because that never works) and finding yourself in a role of persecutor. 

>> Find all the shows of Mélanie Gomez and Julia Vignali from 11 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. on Europe 1 in replay and in podcast here

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