Recently, the suicide of the photographer "Lu Dawson" caused collective concern among netizens.
In the impression of a friend, "Lu Daosen" is a "polite and warm" person. However, in the last Weibo left by him, he mentioned that he is a "left-behind child, mountain child, school bullying" Experiencers, photographers, young people living alone, dream chasers", "bullying, forced marriage, forced career, family".
On the one hand is the sunny boy in the eyes of friends, "not showing any disappointment in life"; on the other is the lonely patient who is trapped in dark emotions. "Lu Dawson's suicide note" makes people deplore his psychological condition and also triggers another Question: For every relative and friend who seems normal around us, will his B-face be another "Lu Dawson" that is not easy to be noticed?
Screenshot of Lu Dawson Weibo
Psychological problems have a certain degree of concealment and are not easy to detect.
#救围的鹿道森# has become a hot search, with 260 million readings.
How to identify and help "Dawson the deer by your side"?
On the 2nd, the Chongqing Morning Post·Upstream News reporter invited Chen Zhilin, a psychologist with 4.23 million followers on Weibo, to explain in detail which psychological factors may cause psychological problems.
If these factors are not taken seriously, if things go on like this, it may lead to psychological problems.
Dead end one
Competitive, value achievements and performance
Most of these people are students with good grades or business backbones and middle-level managers with outstanding work abilities. They are competitive, respectful of face, and pay special attention to achievements and consequences. They rely on their achievements to identify themselves, and they are especially concerned about the eyes and opinions of outsiders. ; Live for others, lose yourself, be too depressed, and don’t value your inner feelings.
Dead end 2
Unable to adapt to major changes
When faced with major illnesses, deaths, unemployment, debt bankruptcy and other major blows to relatives and friends; or suddenly faced with an unfamiliar environment, they are completely unable to adapt.
Some people encounter such a situation, will have a serious psychological gap, which may lead to depression and other mental illnesses.
Dead End Three
Encountering bullying can't resolve the shadows
I have encountered campus bullying when I was studying, being bullied or squeezed out by my classmates. Parents should be aware that campus bullying may start when a child is in kindergarten and may even affect his entire life.
In addition, there is workplace bullying.
If these negative emotions cannot be effectively resolved, they are likely to accumulate quietly in the heart and have a continuous negative impact on the future life.
Photographer "Lu Dawson" clearly stated that he had encountered campus bullying when he was a child, which caused a greater psychological shadow.
Dead corner four
Deep in guilt and guilt
I did something wrong or my own factors led to bad results for my family and team. I was blindly immersed in sadness, guilt, and guilt, and I couldn't get out of it for a long time.
Dead end five
Emotional frustration
Love, marriage is not smooth, forced marriage, forced birth, flash marriage, enter into marriage without emotional basis, unhappy after marriage, or the other half cheats, divorce, etc., fall into self-denial and self-doubt.
Dead End Six
"Pleasant personality" or lack of security
Blindly please others while ignoring one's own feelings, sensitive and delicate.
Flatters have an extraordinary desire for security, other people's love, and other people's attention.
Once you fail to get it, you may feel self-pity, which can lead to depression and other mental illnesses in severe cases.
Dead End Seven
Terrible native family
The influence of the native family on the child is inexhaustible, and it will last a lifetime.
Too much alienation, too much indulgence, too much punishment, beating and scolding, too high pressure, parents not being able to conscientiously, too conscientious, too perfectionism, will have a bad influence on the child.
Blind Spot Eight
Psychological imbalance
Compared with people of the same age and starting point, there is a big gap, psychological imbalance, and the contradiction between the subject self and the object self, which leads to a big psychological gap and aggravation of anxiety.
Dead End Nine
Excessive stress or adaptive psychological problems
When encountering work pressure, academic pressure, marriage and love pressure, interpersonal pressure, and communication pressure, I don’t know how to adapt and dismiss.
Expert: These performances help you find and rescue the "Lu Dawson" around you
Chen Zhilin said that the current social rhythm is accelerating and life pressure is increasing, and many people may actually have similar mental illnesses without realizing it.
He listed some manifestations of psychological problems for your reference and self-examination. He found the "hidden deer Dawson" around him and helped them.
Psychological problems will have these manifestations:
1. Not happy;
2. Crying for a long time for no reason;
3. Wake up at two or three in the morning, and can no longer fall asleep. In the afternoon, the mood improves, and it is better at night, and even participates in entertainment activities like normal people;
4. Loss of interest and pleasure, and increased fatigue;
5. It may also manifest as mania, irritability, lack of self-confidence, decreased appetite, non-specific physical disorders, suicide and infant injury behaviors.
5 symptoms indicate depression or anxiety
The following 5 or more symptoms occur every day or almost every day for two weeks: (Must include one of the first or second symptoms):
1. Low mood;
2. Loss of interest or joy;
3. Significant decrease or increase in appetite;
4. Insomnia or lethargy;
5. Psychomotor excitement or retardation;
6. Fatigue or fatigue;
7. Feeling useless or guilty;
8. Decreased thinking ability or inattention;
9. Extremely self-denying, unable to accept self, have some radical thoughts and thoughts.
Chen Zhilin reminded that if the self-examination control friend finds that he or the people around him have these symptoms for more than 2 weeks, he must not avoid the doctor, please take the initiative to seek professional help.
Chen Zhilin emphasized that if you find that your friends have similar symptoms, they should listen and accompany them, and provide them with a platform for venting and complaining. Do not preach and respect the subjective wishes of the parties.
It is not recommended to enlighten as a friend, because it is easy to backfire, and a friend can help him make an appointment with a professional.
Chongqing Morning News·Upstream News Reporter Zhu Ting
Event review
Lost photographer Lu Dawson confirms his death and claims he was bullied and forced to marry
Family members have brought their ashes back to Guiyang; friends want to publish works for them to make up for their regrets
On December 1, the Putuoshan Branch of the Public Security Bureau of Zhoushan City, Zhejiang Province issued a notice: At 7 am, the body of a male was found in the waters near Dongsha, Zhujiajian.
Identified by his family, the Weibo blogger Zhou (26 years old, from Guizhou), whose online name is "Lu Daosen", has lost contact with the legacy system recently.
Earlier, in the middle of the night on November 28, Lu Daosen posted a Weibo post, which attracted the attention of netizens due to suspected suicidal tendencies.
Photography blogger "Lu Dawson" dies
Previously published suicide note on Weibo
"This is the last time I have introduced myself like this... I have tried my best to handle everything, pack all my luggage and send it home... I don't want anyone to come to me, and I don't want to be a piece of loess, just let me Wander around the end of the world alone."
At 23:28 on November 28, a Weibo blogger named "Lu Daosen" posted a post that was suspected to be a suicide note, which attracted the attention of netizens.
According to media reports, at 3 o'clock in the morning on November 29, the Putuoshan Branch of the Zhoushan Public Security Bureau received an order from the Zhoushan Public Security Bureau to request assistance in finding "Lu Daosen" (Zhou).
After investigation, the blogger entered Zhujiajian’s jurisdiction at 16:00 on November 28, and took a ride alone at Zhujiajian Centipede Zhi Wharf to Zhujiajian East Hejiayuan at 16:17. Walk in the direction of Xiaowushitang, enter a mountain path on the road at 16:42 and disappear.
After receiving the police, the local police deployed relevant police forces overnight to carry out verification and search work. In the evening of the 29th, the working group received a report from a villager that he found a gray windbreaker on the beach reef on the south side of Niu Nitang Mountain in Zhujiajian at 7 o'clock in the morning of the same day. , There is a white mobile phone inside.
It was confirmed that the mobile phone was Zhou's mobile phone.
On December 1, the police reported that his body was found at 7 am and ruled out homicide.
"We are very, very sad, and we don't want to believe this in our hearts." According to Wei Wei, a teacher who studied photography with Lu Daosen during his lifetime, friends were very anxious to learn that Lu Daosen had disappeared after posting a document.
A friend in his hometown of Guiyang contacted Lu Daosen's family, and his party arrived in Zhoushan on November 29. Unexpectedly, bad news came.
Boy who loves photography:
"This world needs more love"
"How should I introduce me to you, rural villages, left-behind children, mountain children, school bullying experiences, photographers, young people living alone, dream chasers..." In a Weibo posted on the evening of November 28, Lu Dawson introduced himself like this.
In the 5,000-word self-report, Lu Daosen opened up a past of "fear, anxiety, and rejection".
"For 25 years, only when I was a child when I was next to my grandmother during the holidays can I feel the warmth."
He asked, why is home?
There is no place to depend on, and the whole world is home.
In Weibo, Lu Daosen will share his life from time to time.
There is the meaning of asking about photography, and there is also a small wish to publish works...
According to the introduction of the photography tutorial video posted on Weibo, he studied interior design at a university and began to study photography in the second semester of his junior year. After graduation, he decided to continue taking pictures and later became a freelance photographer.
"Dawson has a strong empathy ability and is more emotionally delicate." Weiwei said that around 2017, Lu Dawson contacted her to learn photography through online channels.
Last spring, Lu Daosen came to Hangzhou to work, and Weiwei would also have dinner with him in Hangzhou.
In the contact with Weiwei, Lu Daosen was "talented and positive", always chatting about his photography dreams and creations, and occasionally complaining about "fat and hair loss".
But he rarely heard him talk about the emotional troubles in life, let alone the childhood trauma on Weibo.
According to media reports, on the day of Lu Daosen’s birthday, his sister and mother sent birthday wishes via WeChat. Lu Daosen also responded.
He rejected the birthday greeting red envelope from his mother, but he said "Thank you mom".
Lu Daosen's Weibo said, "My death has nothing to do with anyone, and I don't want to blame others... This world needs more love, not harm."
The family has brought back the ashes
Friends want to publish works for them
On November 29th, there was a friend in the photography circle of Lu Daosen, Weiwei and Aze who rushed to Zhoushan with his family.
Aze said that on the evening of the 1st, his family had cremated Lu Dawson and brought his ashes back to Guiyang, and is currently dealing with the relevant funeral affairs.
Weiwei said that my friends are planning, hoping to sort out Lu Daosen's works during his lifetime, miss memorials, and also want to make up for some of his regrets in this way.
"As for whether there is a memorial service, or publish a public welfare album, or adopt other public welfare methods in the future, we will communicate and discuss when the family feels calm."
(At the request of the interviewee, the text is a pseudonym)
Sharp comment
There is hope of healing when you are alive
No matter from any angle, the suicide of "Lu Dawson" is regrettable and regrettable, but such a choice is difficult for people to understand and approve.
Because the end of his life is destined to not make up for his pain, nor can it solve his confusion, but it will bring endless harm to those who care about him.
In the suicide note of "Lu Daosen", he once asked "How much does a person have to experience in his life to see the sun"... Yes, how long does it take to verify, but only by living can you see tomorrow's Sun.
With the accelerating pace of life and the intensifying pressure of competition, "heavy mountains and rivers have no way to go" may be the life and work status that most people face, but we can only believe that "the most valuable thing about people is that after seeing the essence of life, Still love life", I believe that only by living can there be hope of healing, and it is possible to reap the "little and bright" tomorrow.