What was taught by A-bomb survivor Sunao Tsuboi November 10, 18:08

"I've been hurt and lived. Still, I think it was wonderful. I want to die because it was wonderful when I died."

Mr. Sunao Tsuboi, a survivor of Hiroshima who died on October 24th. Is the word that said.

As a person who has interviewed Mr. Tsuboi for 27 years, I am now aware of the meaning of this word.

(Chiyo Umeda, Executive Director, International Program Department, Seikei)

News I didn't want you to come

Incoming call record left on the mobile phone at 1:38 pm on Wednesday, October 27.

The phone rang at the location.

When I saw the names of my juniors at the Hiroshima Broadcasting Station, I hesitated to respond for a moment.

was scary.

Immediately canceling that thought and picking up the phone, I felt a different and noisy atmosphere on the other side of the voice saying "Hello".

At that time, I was prepared.

"That ... I just got a report, so I contacted you immediately. Mr. Tsuboi passed away."

The voice of the junior was solemn.

This time has finally come.

I was scared to hear this news.

Mr. Sunao Tsuboi, who has been the chairman of the Hiroshima Prefectural Atomic Bomb Victims Association (Hiroshima Prefectural Atomic Bomb Victims Association), has reported the damage of the atomic bombs at home and abroad as a representative of the atomic bomb survivors, and has appealed for the abolition of nuclear weapons.

He left the world at the age of 96.

When I was half stunned by the news, I received phone calls and emails one after another.

These were my colleagues who had been indebted to Mr. Tsuboi for interviews.

Mr. Tsuboi has long been at the center of the atomic bomb survivors in Hiroshima.

Many of the reporters and directors assigned to the Hiroshima Broadcasting Station received Mr. Tsuboi's scent.

Since I had been a junior high school teacher for a long time, my fellow A-bomb survivors were called "Tsuboi-sensei" and we were naturally called "Tsuboi-sensei".

27 years with Professor Tsuboi

I met Professor Tsuboi in 1994 when I was working for the Hiroshima Broadcasting Station.

At that time, Hiroshima was enthusiastic about enacting the A-bomb survivor protection law and making the Atomic Bomb Dome a World Heritage Site, ahead of the 50th anniversary of the atomic bombing.

That year, Professor Tsuboi became the secretary-general of the Hiroshima Prefectural Union.

After working as a principal, he participated in the A-bomb survivor movement in earnest in his 60s.

At the age of 20, Professor Tsuboi was exposed to the bomb while commuting to school 1.2 km from the hypocenter.

It is the point where one in two people died.

He was blown away by the blast and suffered severe burns from his head to his back with heat rays.

Three hours after the atomic bomb was dropped, the photograph taken under the mushroom cloud shows the back of Professor Tsuboi.

At that time, he wrote "Tsuboi will die here" on the road surface and became unconscious before and after.

Professor Tsuboi talked about his own experiences not only in Japan but also in the United States, China, France where nuclear tests were conducted, India, and other parts of the world, and appealed for the abolition of nuclear weapons.

As his fellow A-bomb survivors died one after another, he eventually became the leader of the movement, and in 2004 he became the chairman of the Hiroshima Prefectural Atomic Bomb Association.

Carrying the thoughts of those who passed away earlier, he continued his activities for the rest of his life.

After passing through death ...

After a long time of interviewing, there are three things that I learned for the first time.

One is that he used a certain issue apart from his real name.

During the interview, I wrote on a piece of paper with a ballpoint pen:

"Tsuboi Torushi"

immediately after the end of the war in this name that had wrote a letter to a friend.

He was rescued by his mother after the bombing, but was unconscious for 40 days.

After waking up, diarrhea and gum bleeding continued.

The burned body was bitten by a maggot and suffered severe pain.

I couldn't even walk for a year.

"A human who thought about death thoroughly" was the origin of the issue.

"Neighbors are dying from the atomic bomb. (After the bombing) The death of humans in that year is amazing. The war is over. Even so, die, anyway. Think to

Mr. Tsuboi, who appears in the photographs at that time, is thin and has a shadowy expression.

I think he had the fear of death and the conflict he had to accept.

The second was the marriage to his wife, Suzuko.

Professor Tsuboi became deeply involved in the A-bomb survivor movement after Suzuko died suddenly of a cerebral hemorrhage.

I heard that you were tied up after a big romance, but it was in 2016 that you were told about the painful years leading up to that.

He met Suzuko in his twenties and soon swore his future, but it is said that the people around him, who were not A-bomb survivors, strongly opposed the marriage.

At that time, there were many stories that the A-bomb survivors who seemed to have regained their health died suddenly.

He was opposed to not knowing what would happen in the future even if he married the A-bomb survivors.

The days when he was not even allowed to meet continued, and Professor Tsuboi began to think about death.

Suzuko, who knew this, said, "I'll be with you," and said that they took sleeping pills on the hill overlooking the town where Professor Tsuboi was born and raised.

A few hours later, Professor Tsuboi woke up.

When I reached for sleeping pills again because I shouldn't live alone, I heard Suzuko moving next to me.

"Did you notice? At that time, I looked at each other and I couldn't express it for a moment. I really cried. We couldn't be together in this world. Even if we thought we would be together in that world, I can't do it again. Because I was dead. I mean, I was destined for this, so they cried. It was serious. I can't help it anymore. Anyway, I shook hands with my vow to survive no matter what. "

It's been seven and a half years since I met him.

Tsuboi's excellent work as a junior high school teacher has finally allowed the marriage of the two.

The couple, who said, "I have never had a fight," were blessed with three children, and with the support of Mr. Suzuko, Mr. Tsuboi completed his life as a teacher.

Prepared to tell

It's been more than 20 years since I met Professor Tsuboi, and the third thing I learned for the first time was about the deep wounds on my body.

When I visited my house in 2015, he took off his socks and showed me, "I'm leaving burns on my legs."

Mr. Tsuboi has always remembered his smile and humor, so sometimes he almost forgets what he carries.

Then, he said, "If you don't mind, could you take a picture of the burns on your legs so that you can see the actual situation of the atomic bombing?"

Then Professor Tsuboi stood up, turned his back to the camera and began to take off his underwear.

As I continued to shoot without knowing what I was trying to show, the teacher lowered my pants a little and showed me to the bottom of my back.

I lost my word.

The teacher showed a "hole" in the lower part of the back.

It was after being scooped out when I was exposed to the bomb.

"There are only bones and skin. There is no flesh. The function of hematopoiesis is destroyed and blood is not produced. I have been doing my best for 70 years. It depends on this kind of body."

In the car where I left home after shooting, I was regretted that I had asked for something difficult.

Then, the cameraman Sasakura, who was on board, said, "I couldn't accept Mr. Tsuboi's resolution."

When I heard that, I realized for the first time that I had to ask the teacher what it meant to show me the wound.

When I called in a hurry, Professor Tsuboi replied:

"I thought it would be okay to show it now. I've been witnessing and appealing for the abolition of nuclear weapons, but I'm starting to wonder if the truth of the atomic bombing has been conveyed."

The "truth of the bombing" engraved on Mr. Tsuboi's back, its endlessly deep wounds.

Until then, I have always wanted to understand "the facts that the A-bomb survivors know" as much as possible.

However, it cannot be understood.

I felt the dignity of human beings in the appearance of Dr. Tsuboi, who continues to convey the actual situation of the atomic bombing on behalf of the deceased and tries to convey it with his own body.

I had no choice but to hang my head on the weight of conveying the painful memories of remembering the body damaged by nuclear weapons.

"I don't ask for an apology"

Ten days after Professor Tsuboi passed away, I visited my home in Hiroshima.

The teacher left the family to announce it after cremating it at a family funeral in case of emergency.

It may have been a consideration so that the family could farewell quietly.

Kenta, a son who says, "I want to be born again as a father's child," accepted the visit even though I wasn't getting enough sleep due to commuting, funerals, and press releases.

I haven't spoken to Kenta since 2016, when President Obama visited Hiroshima.

Before the visit, as a survivor who met the incumbent President of the United States for the first time, Dr. Tsuboi's "whether or not to ask for an apology" was drawing attention at home and abroad.

However, Professor Tsuboi declared from the beginning that he would not ask for an apology.

When I met President Obama at the Peace Memorial Park, he spoke with a smile.

"As a survivor, dropping the atomic bomb is one of the mistakes of humankind. We must overcome it and go to the future."

Professor Tsuboi, who returned home from a face-to-face meeting that was said to be historic, calmly looked back, saying, "Start here."

In fact, at that time, Mr. Tsuboi's idea of ​​"not asking for an apology" was heard saying, "Even though I am a hibakusha, I shake hands with the president of the country that dropped the atomic bomb."

But Kenta said.

Kenta Tsuboi

"I think of him as a person who has seen him up close. He has suffered a lot, but in the end, he thought that the world would not improve, and he used a lot of power to convince himself for many years. I think I finally got to that point over the months. "

"I haven't seen it"

Many of my colleagues who have been exercising with me have died.

No matter how much I say, Professor Tsuboi, who has seen the reality that nuclear weapons will not disappear, may have reached the point.

Now, Kenta repeatedly remembers the time with his father who played catch only once when he was in the lower grades of elementary school.

My father, who was often struck by anemia and had to carry out emergency transportation and take leave, suddenly invited me to play catch.

Until it gets dark in the schoolyard of a junior high school illuminated by the setting sun.

After that, Professor Tsuboi got sick and took a break from school, but Kenta said, "I'm just happy. I've always remembered that scene."

Another thing that Kenta remembers is the word "I haven't seen it" that my father suddenly leaked.

My father, who often talked about his experience of being bombed, once muttered.

Kenta Tsuboi

"I can't move my body even if I actually see the person who was alive before dying or the limbs are torn and the eyeballs pop out and ask for help. Experience. I think that the sight I saw at that time remains vividly in my father's head, but even if I try to convey it to me, I think that people who have not actually seen it will not understand it. It seemed like there was. That's why I had a strong desire to tell many people, and I think I worked hard to the last limit. "

"I didn't lose to the atomic bomb until the end."

Mr. Tsuboi's wish is included in the name "healthy and thick".

Finally, the story that Kenta-san told me while choosing words is still in my ears.

The cause of Dr. Tsuboi's death was an arrhythmia caused by anemia, which had been suffering for many years after the bombing.

It was when we talked about that.

Kenta Tsuboi

"Somewhere in my heart, I want to think that my father didn't die from the atomic bomb. Maybe I'm the only one, but I want to convince myself that my father didn't die from the atomic bomb. . I'm 96 years old, so I think it's okay to be aging. It's just my comfort. But I want to think that my dad didn't lose to the atomic bomb until the end. "

I felt that the family, who watched over the teacher's life by his side and supported him with love, certainly spoke about his thoughts.

Continue to convey the weight of nuclear weapons and the sin of war

I met Mr. Tsuboi and my life changed.

Thanks to the teacher, I have become able to think about the weight of life, what humans are, and what human dignity is.

Of course, I can't see what Professor Tsuboi saw under the mushroom cloud because I had never been exposed to the atomic bomb.

However, I was able to see up close how Professor Tsuboi lived hard every day while carrying an absurdity that he could not do on his own.

The absurdity that the atomic bomb was used by the war between nations and was destined to live as a survivor.

The great sin of dropping the atomic bomb by humans, and the absurdity that no one has compensated for.

I can't forget that there were people in the same age who lived facing forward while carrying such a burden.

On August 6th next year, Professor Tsuboi's name will be recorded on the "List of the Dead" in the memorial monument.

However, it did not mean that he lost the atomic bomb, he was told by Professor Tsuboi and his family.

No one has lost the atomic bomb.

Dr. Tsuboi and the A-bomb survivors continued to convey to us over a long period of time a heartfelt cry that they would never be hurt by war or nuclear weapons.

I have a responsibility to keep communicating the weight of the crime of nuclear weapons and the crime of war.

As a promise with a loved one.

Mr. Tsuboi, please take a look.

I will continue to convey the teacher's thoughts until the end of my life.

Thank you very much for a long time.

Chiyo Umeda,

Executive Director, International Program Department,

1988 Joined the

station in

1988.

Worked at the Hiroshima station from 1993 to 1997.

After that, he continued to interview Mr. Sunao Tsuboi and produced programs.