Since the doorbell doesn't work anyway, I climb through the open window into the men's shared apartment, which is currently under renovation. To my right, the kitchen table is leaning against the wall, with damp tea towels and socks that have been temporarily lost on its legs in the breeze from the open window. At least three different types of wallpaper hang on the walls, the colors of which clash with the chaotic mosaic of tiles on the floor. The refrigerator at the other end of the room lies helplessly on its back like a huge, white beetle, the refrigerator door is open so that the apparently wet laundry in the various cooling compartments can be properly ventilated. The homeless refrigerated goods have found a home in the washing machine right next to it.The whole colorful room seems to be animated by the unstoppable urge to change, it is almost as if there were one or two allegorical parallel between this kitchen as the setting and the subject of this article.
The four roommates have all gathered in the kitchen so that they can stand around a single rotten chair in the middle of the room in a somewhat sad run-through of the popular party game "Journey to Jerusalem". But not only the whereabouts of the chair and the innards of the room are discussed here, but also the idea of masculinity is renegotiated: “I don't know what the gossip about toxic masculinity is all about. There is nothing bad or poisonous about being a man, and I am not ashamed of it either! It's just a stupid buzzword that should shut you up, ”explains the first roommate in the middle of the room and grabs the chair by the backrest. “And it stays here. It's still good.“To the right of the repurposed kitchen table, the second roommate has attached the back of another broken chair to the wall with the help of several nails and bent forks. “As far as I'm concerned, it's true that the term is also used to annoy! But let's be honest: where in public discourse is this successfully banning men? You are not suppressed or censored just because you suddenly get headwinds when you say something lousy. And with all due respect to your nostalgia, the chair now consists of 20 percent dead woodworms. Why do you cling so desperately to old and broken things that no longer work? "that the term is also used to annoy! But let's be honest: where in public discourse is this successfully banning men? You are not suppressed or censored just because you suddenly get headwinds when you say something lousy. And with all due respect to your nostalgia, the chair now consists of 20 percent dead woodworms. Why do you cling so desperately to old and broken things that no longer work? "that the term is also used to annoy! But let's be honest: where in public discourse is this successfully banning men? You are not suppressed or censored just because you suddenly get headwinds when you say something lousy. And with all due respect to your nostalgia, the chair now consists of 20 percent dead woodworms. Why do you cling so desperately to old and broken things that no longer work? "Why do you cling so desperately to old and broken things that no longer work? "Why do you cling so desperately to old and broken things that no longer work? "
"You all deserve it"
The third roommate also seems tired of the stalemate at the rotten chair, he has moved to the opposite end of the room and screws a new spice rack on the wall above the washing machine. “The chair had really lousy quirks from the start. It doesn't matter how many woodworms he has poisoned in the meantime, ”he intervenes. “And when it comes to toxic masculinity, you twist the terminology. Not the whole scheme of masculinity is dangerous, let alone inherent in a whole sex. But there are toxic aspects to it that cause harm: aggression, homophobia, misogyny. That is what is meant by toxic masculinity. And that can be named and discussed. Also on public platforms.“Thoughtfully, he picks up the salt and pepper shaker and nine glasses of Italian herbs from the floor and puts them happily on the new shelf.
"But actually the problem goes much deeper", the fourth and last roommate reports. He has retreated to the stove to the left of my window seat and is rewiring the stove tops. “It is definitely true that some toxic aspects of masculinity are outwardly harmful. But actually this poison is directed inwards, against whoever uses it. The chair clearly exudes a fine smell of rotten eggs throughout the room and also looks terribly ugly. But it only unfolds its full destructive power when you use it, so when you sit on it! ”All roommates grimace in painful memories.
“When we as men are vulnerable, helpless, sad or afraid, that is perceived as a weakness by those around us. As something to be ashamed of, ”he adds and casually turns the left stove switch, whereupon the light in the hall goes on and off. “As men, we are allowed to communicate the emotion 'anger' to the outside world and nothing else. Everything else is kindly borne stoically. That makes every stroke of fate, every conflict, every failure twice as bad and isolates us because we are never allowed to be emotional, honest or vulnerable. It breaks, "he adds and continues:" And I therefore ask myself whether it is fair, humane and useful to ask each other for such a charade.“Still in the middle of the room, the first roommate is clutching the rotten chair with a thoughtful expression. It is possible that the same question arises for him, possible that his hands are simply stuck to the chair. I'll try a Solomonic judgment: “That doesn't mean that you have to perform a ballad about your deepest emotions for every man, dog and kebab skewer you meet on the street. But you deserve a society that gives you space to be emotionally open and vulnerable without being perceived as effeminate ”. I look around the insecure group and ignore the stupid chair: "You all deserve it."I'll try a Solomonic judgment: “That doesn't mean that you have to perform a ballad about your deepest emotions for every man, dog and kebab skewer you meet on the street. But you deserve a society that gives you space to be emotionally open and vulnerable without being perceived as effeminate ”. I look around the insecure group and ignore the stupid chair: "You all deserve it."I'll try a Solomonic judgment: “That doesn't mean that you have to perform a ballad about your deepest emotions for every man, dog and kebab skewer you meet on the street. But you deserve a society that gives you space to be emotionally open and vulnerable without being perceived as effeminate ”. I look around the insecure group and ignore the stupid chair: "You all deserve it."I look around the insecure group and ignore the stupid chair: "You all deserve it."I look around the insecure group and ignore the stupid chair: "You all deserve it."