In life, many parents give their children percussive education, hoping to make them humble and motivated.

However, excessive blows often bring excessive psychological pressure to children, which is counterproductive.

  A few days ago, the China Youth Daily’s Social Survey Center jointly conducted a survey of 2006 18-35-year-old youths in a survey conducted by the Social Survey Center of China Youth Daily (wenjuan.com). As many as 90.6% of the interviewed youths admitted frankly that their parents had verbally attacked them. 45.4% of the youth interviewed indicated that it continued to middle school.

59.7% of the interviewed youth believe that percussive education will lead to children's lack of self-confidence and easy self-denial.

45.4% of the youth interviewed said that the percussive education of their parents continued to middle school

  "The'strike' I understand is sarcasm, derogation, likes to compare with others, discourages children's enthusiasm, and dislikes positive encouragement. For example, they have scored 98 points, but the parents say that the child next door scored 100 points." Shanghai Academy of Social Sciences Youth Research Director Yang Xiong said.

  Hu Xia, a 28-year-old Shandong girl who is already married, said that her mother often expressed dissatisfaction with her in her daily life, "Look at how good the child is, and you will look at you again." Hu Xia said, her mother was very dissatisfied with her. The crackdown on household chores, studies, and work has continued to this day.

  Li Tong (pseudonym), a high school student in Dongguan, Guangdong, is 17 years old this year.

He sighed. Although his grades have always been among the top few in the class, and he was also in the top ten in the top class in high school, his mother has not praised him much since he was a child. "The test questions are too simple." If the test is not satisfactory, it will not sound good. Fortunately, my dad encourages me more and is not too harsh."

  The 13-year-old daughter of Gao Qiang, a citizen of Wuhu, Anhui Province, was in junior high school. He bluntly said that he practiced percussion education, even if his child works in the future, it will continue.

Usually, my daughter has achieved good results in exams, and I am actually very happy, but she will say "There is nothing to be proud of, be careful that her grades degrade", hoping to further urge her.

"One time the piano teacher praised her and came back to tell me that I said at the time that it was the teacher who encouraged you and not you so good, and we still need to work harder."

  In Gao Qiang's view, this model seems to be a traditional Chinese family education model.

  90.6% of the youth interviewed stated that their parents usually gave themselves verbal percussion education, and 30.8% of them said frankly often.

Interaction analysis found that the proportion of men (32.8%) who are often subjected to parental education is higher than that of women (28.6%); the proportion of youth surveyed in first-tier cities (34.4%) is the highest, followed by second-tier cities (32.1%).

  When will the parents’ percussion education last?

45.4% of the youth interviewed said that they continued to middle school, 21.4% continued to university, 12.0% continued to elementary school, 4.8% continued to graduate school, 4.1% continued to work and married, and 7.2% continued to speak out.

Why do parents choose percussion education?

52.2% of the interviewed youth think it is to prevent their children from being proud and complacent

  "Percussive education may dampen children’s interest, but teenagers’ consciousness is not enough, and parents need to do so." Gao Qiang said that parents always be “villains”. I praise her again, because I’m afraid that she will relax. It’s better to pour a basin of cold water and let her exercise self-discipline at all times. Just like every time I ask her to finish her homework before going out to play, there are no exceptions. Although my daughter is sometimes upset, I think I must There are rules".

  Hu Xia believes that the parents' advocacy of percussive education is wrong and is a manifestation of the lack of scientific education. "They think that children can't be used to it, and they can't be used to spoiling, and they can't boast. Proper praise can have a positive effect on children. I think that the concept of'a filial son is born under a stick' is wrong."

  Why do some parents beat their children with words?

52.2% of the interviewed youths pointed out that parents think this can prevent their children from becoming proud and complacent. 47.7% of the interviewed youths pointed out that parents want their children to conduct more introspection and self-examination. Studying, 40.3% of the interviewed youths think that parents only see the shortcomings of their children and ignore the advantages. 31.5% of the interviewed youths think it’s the “comparison” between parents. To establish parental authority.

40.2% of the young people interviewed bluntly said that percussive education would arouse resentment and rebellion

  What is the actual effect of parental percussion education on children?

40.2% of the interviewed youths said frankly that would cause disgust and rebellion, 33.7% of the interviewed youths said frankly that it would cause their children to have low self-esteem, 20.2% of the interviewed youths felt motivated and motivated, and 5.9% said there was no change.

  Hu Xia also said that whenever her parents attacked her, she wanted to resist, but her parents were always suppressed by the attitude of "Listen to what your parents say". After a long time, she was very resistant, "I don't know. How can I express my thoughts".

Hu Xia sighed that with age, it has been mapped to other things.

"For example, when I was young, I was trained for a long time and dare not resist. After I grow up, I can discuss things clearly in my life and work, but I always choose to take a step back."

  "Before I got married, I had been in a state of not communicating well with my parents. When I got married and became a mother, I could gradually understand some of my parents' psychology, and then I was willing to approach them." Hu Xia said.

  "I still remember that when I was in elementary school, I got a full score for the first time. I was so happy to tell my mother when she came home. She came up and asked me how many 100 points were in the class, and I said there were 6. My mother instantly Changed his face, saying that the title simply does not show the true level." Li Tong said frankly that he was very happy, but his mood immediately fell to the freezing point when his mother said that.

"My mother always beats me, I even feel that I don't like learning so much, because I can't get her affirmation after I learn."

  Li Tong told reporters that even though his grades have always been among the best, when the day comes when he does not want to go home the last time, "there is no joy of achieving grades, let alone passion. I am a more conscious person, my mother beats Educating me in a way, in fact, the side effects are very big, and it makes me especially prone to lose self-confidence."

  What impact did parents' percussion education have on the youth interviewed?

59.7% of the interviewed youth said frankly that they lack self-confidence and are easy to deny themselves. 46.5% of the interviewed youths said they were rebellious and self-defeating. 36.1% of the interviewed youths pointed out that the parent-child relationship was affected, and 29.3% of the interviewed youths felt always alert Pursue progress by yourself.

  (Chen Ziyi also contributed to this article)

  China Youth Daily · China Youth Daily reporter Du Yuanchun Source: China Youth Daily