Are you really "social fear"
In group discussions, I dare not talk with unfamiliar classmates, let alone raise objections; when speaking in public, no matter how well prepared I am, my brain is completely blank after taking the stage; when I meet colleagues on the road, I always want to avoid and dare not say hello generously. ; When the mobile phone rang, I was scared and dare not answer... When "social fear" people share their daily lives on the Internet, they can quickly find a group of "patients". Social fear seems to have become an epidemic among young people.
Wear a hat, plug in your headphones, look at your phone, and you'd better wear a pair of sunglasses that cover half of your face before you dare to go out... Have you ever seen such a "social fear" youth in your life, or perhaps you are too A member of the "social fear" crowd?
Relevant surveys show that since 2016, the online search rate of the term "social fear" has continued to rise, with "social fear" as the key word in the Douban App search, there are more than ten related groups, and the top three groups are "interpersonal "Communication obstacles", "social fear, group warming", "I suffer from severe social phobia", the group members totaled more than 170,000.
On Weibo, there are hundreds of topics related to “social terrorism”, such as “the nightmare of the social terror crowd” and “how much influence does social terrorism have on people”. Many of these topics have been discussed over 100 million people.
“Social fear is also called social anxiety disorder, which is a type of mental illness. Many people will face some social anxiety disorder due to increased pressure.” said Li Yihua, chief physician of the Department of Psychology, Guangdong Second People’s Hospital. “Social fear "The term "is very popular. Many young people also talk about "social fear" with a self-deprecating mentality. Social fear has not been taken seriously by the public like other mental illnesses. "We should pay more attention to patients with social fear from a pathological point of view. "
1. What is "social terror"
If bitten by a tiger, would you choose to call for help?
"I won't. Because if no one saves me, I just might die, but once someone comes to save me, I have to say hello to him." This piece that has recently become popular on the Internet comes from a talk show actor, with a few words. Although it is an exaggeration, it accurately hits the pain points of many "social fear" people: they dare not socialize, and become nervous and anxious when facing the crowd.
“Social fear refers to the significant fear or anxiety when faced with one or more social situations that may be scrutinized by others. It usually starts in adolescence and is one of the most common psychological disorders.” Li Yihua explained. People with social phobia will feel uncomfortable when facing social scenes, afraid of being embarrassed and being judged. In addition to psychological tension, they will also be blushing, shaking, heartbeat, and not dare to look at each other. Performance.
Studies have shown that social phobia usually starts in childhood or adolescence. Most people have the disease before they are in their 20s, and a small number of people will develop this disease in adulthood.
Some people can determine when their social anxiety started and associate it with a specific event (such as entering a new class or being ridiculed for a bad grade), while others cannot determine the origin.
But now, social fear has evolved from a medical concept to a stalk of everyone on the Internet ridiculing each other.
"The term'social fear' is actually generalized." According to Sun Ping, an assistant researcher at the Institute of Journalism and Communication of the Chinese Academy of Social Sciences, many young people are now chatting wildly with people who can talk to them. Put a "social fear" label and stay away.
"Social fear" has been generalized, does it reflect to a certain extent that the number of people with pathological social phobia is also increasing?
Mu Xiaodong, director of the psychology clinic of Nanjing First Hospital, said that rather than say that the number of people with social fear is increasing, it is better to say that more people understand that they may have a tendency to social fear.
"In the past when the material life was not abundant, it was difficult for people to pay attention to whether they had psychological barriers, but now people are deepening their understanding of psychology and themselves." Mou Xiaodong analyzed.
"The only-children of the younger generation now account for the majority. The tall buildings have broken the state of neighborhoods in the past. Since childhood, their social frequency has been much lower than that of the previous generation; and the growth of this generation of children coincides with With the rise of smartphones and the Internet, and the popularity of social media software, young people are increasingly showing a state of'online carnival and offline silence'." Mou Xiaodong said that young people nowadays are more accustomed to hiding behind mobile phone screens and not accustomed to exposing themselves. In front of people, this may cause social phobia to occur more often in contemporary young people.
"Social phobia in a broad sense can indeed be said to be a common problem of modern people. Some people's'social phobia' does not reach the level of mental illness, but it will also be reflected in daily life." He said, although modern society It is not that "everyone is in social terror", but the phenomenon of "social terror" really deserves more attention.
"We cannot simply attribute'social fear' to introversion or shyness. Introverts just like to work quietly and are not afraid of others. This must be distinguished." Li Yihua reminded.
2. What are people thinking about "social fear"
Why do you feel anxious when facing crowds?
Liu Li (pseudonym) is a "social fear" person. He once did a social anxiety disorder self-measurement form issued by a psychological institution. The test result was that he suffered from moderate social anxiety disorder.
"When I face the crowd, I always feel anxious. For example, when chatting with classmates, if he doesn't respond to what I just said, I will think, does he think what I just said is boring? Over time, I am very afraid of dealing with people." Liu Li described his mental activities. This kind of tension and anxiety made him always want to "escape" when facing the crowd.
From the perspective of cognitive psychology, Liu Li's mental activity can be called cognitive processing bias.
Social phobia is often related to cognitive processing bias, such as exaggerating the possibility of negative results when facing social people, or making negative explanations for ambiguity.
“The reason why people with social phobias are anxious when facing social groups is because they are worried about their misbehavior and are afraid of being laughed at by the crowd or getting negative comments. They are also afraid that their inner tensions will be seen through by others, and then they will get negative comments. ." Mou Xiaodong summarized the manifestations of social phobia.
In order to improve his social skills, Liu Li has also read related books on social communication skills, but he feels that this is not very helpful in improving his social phobia symptoms.
"I have learned a lot of communication skills, but I am still afraid of chatting with people. Every time I chat, I care about each other's feelings, so I just follow them and don't express my feelings." Liu Li said, many "communities" "Fear" people are like him, and they are actually looking forward to a pleasant exchange in their hearts, so they will "please" each other when socializing.
However, the feeling of "pleasant" social interaction is not good, so many "community fears" gradually give up social interaction and are increasingly reluctant to take the initiative to contact the outside world.
"Who likes to be alone, but they are afraid of disappointment." Wang Mingrui, a PhD from the Department of Psychoanalysis at the University of Paris, borrowed this sentence from Haruki Murakami to sum up the complex mentality of "social fear" people.
"An important manifestation of people with social phobia is that they cannot get a sense of identity in social interactions, or they are afraid of not getting the recognition of their inner hopes in social activities." Wang Mingrui analyzed.
He thinks this has something to do with the way of education.
"Our traditional education method is more inclined to allow children to gain recognition in communication, such as the recognition of teachers and relatives in communication, rather than encouraging children to express themselves purely in social interaction." In his view, this As a result, children have a very high demand for recognition after they grow up. Once they fail to obtain the expected recognition in social activities, they will easily develop an avoidance mentality.
3. Does "social terrorism" need to be treated?
"80% of'social panic' people do not need to undergo relevant treatment." This is the data obtained by Mou Xiaodong based on his experience in medical treatment.
"Although these patients also have symptoms related to social phobia, they can maintain a normal life by doing work that is not very close to people and reducing the frequency of social activities."
So to what extent should the social phobia symptoms reach professionals?
Mou Xiaodong gave a criterion: the symptoms of social phobia lasted for more than 6 months and seriously affected daily work, study and social activities.
"When social phobia has caused obstacles to daily work and life, and impaired social functions, it is time for'social fear' people to consider seeking help from professionals such as psychologists." Li Yihua said, patients can also do something before seeking medical attention. Relevant self-measurement tables issued by hospitals or psychological institutions to judge the severity of their social phobia symptoms.
Talking about why serious social phobia requires active medical treatment, Wang Mingrui explained: "The cause of every social phobia patient is highly individualized and accidental. The in-depth exploration of the cause is a highly professional work. People complete.” Wang Mingrui shared a case he had contacted: “I have been in contact with a social phobia patient named Chen Li (pseudonym). She was so serious that she did not dare to go out to see people. Go to the vending machine in the apartment to buy some essential food.” When Chen Li first saw a doctor, she told the psychologist that she was suddenly unable to see people. At this time, not only did she dare not go out to see people, but also WeChat had been uninstalled. All do not reply.
After half a year of psychiatric treatment, the psychologist learned that Chen Li had suffered domestic violence since she was a child, which led her to want to live independently when she grew up, so she always wanted to prove that she can live well without the support of her parents. .
But then she encountered setbacks at work, and the lack of recognition at work stimulated her. She began to demean and criticize herself, and then developed serious social fears.
“In the beginning, Chen Li herself did not associate her childhood domestic violence, work frustration with her sudden social phobia. She only found the structural incident that caused the illness with the help of professionals, so she also found The cornerstone of healing. Only when the knot is found, can it be opened." Wang Mingrui said.
"Severe social phobia is often accompanied by depression." Mou Xiaodong reminded that when the symptoms of social phobia worsen, the degree of depression is likely to deepen. At this time, the patient should take another depression scale and seek medical treatment if there is any problem. The etiology of severe social phobia is often complicated and needs to be diagnosed by professionals."
In addition, drug treatment must also be carried out under the guidance of a doctor.
“Some people with social phobia do not need to take medicine for a long time, but when there are important social activities such as speaking on stage, he can take the medicine in advance to stabilize his mood, so that he will not be too nervous and anxious after going on stage. But it should be noted that the patient is either long-term or Temporary medication must be carried out under the guidance of a doctor.” Mou Xiaodong said.
4. Can mild "social terrorism" heal itself?
Nowadays, most of the young people who label themselves "social fear" on social networking platforms have mild symptoms and do not reach the level of medical treatment, but like Liu Li, many "social fear" people seem to be "healthy" on the surface. "Do not get close", there is still a great need for pleasant social activities in my heart.
"Patients with lesser degrees of social phobia can try desensitization therapy, that is, take the initiative to approach the social situation that makes them fearful." Li Yihua suggested, "From the perspective of behavioral science, avoiding social situations means that patients will never be able to Get out of fear. In other words, if you want to eliminate your fear of social situations, you should get close to fear first."
Li Yihua gave an example: "For example, some people who are'social fear' are afraid to speak in public. At this time, they can get close to or often close to the situation where there is public expression. When it really happens, if the patient's presupposition or imagined result does not occur, Then the patient will no longer be overly nervous and anxious due to public speaking. Such successful experience is very important to the patient's healing. But if there is no new experience, then fear will always exist."
In Li Yihua's view, there are many scenarios in which modern society needs to show oneself. If "social fear" people always hide in a safe "shell" by avoiding it, it is easy to miss opportunities for self-development.
"Once the social mode of a person with social phobia improves, the quality of his work and life will be improved." Li Yihua encourages the lesser "social phobia" people to try to heal themselves.
The self-healing path of "social fear" people can also be combined with mindfulness therapy. Mou Xiaodong added: "For example, "social fear" people can meditate frequently, telling themselves that they can complete social activities well, and then have more positive emotions." He specifically mentioned that "social fear" people should not always feel that others are paying attention to and evaluating themselves, creating unwarranted anxiety for themselves.
In fact, others don't pay much attention to your every move, let alone feel that you are bad.
Don't blindly label yourself and draw conclusions to yourself indiscriminately.
Wang Mingrui encourages "social fear" people to participate in social activities that can express themselves.
"Compared to playing board games and script killing, crayfish is a more effective social tool. Because when people play script killing and other games, they are actually speaking the language of the characters in the game, not their own thoughts. You can only play with the little ones. When lobsters, everyone will put down their phones and sit face-to-face to express themselves. This is effective social interaction." He smiled and suggested that if you eat a few crayfish with your friends, the "social fear" may heal itself.
"No one is an island. Having appropriate and comfortable social activities is everyone's need. When we find a better way to communicate with the outside world, the world will show us a better side", Wang Mingrui last Say.
(Reporter Zou Xiaojing)