There are people who claim that there is no progress. Don't trust them! There is progress, and it is striding across separate corners of our planet with leaps and bounds. Why should you trust me? Because I am ready to prove my thesis based on the latest linguistic and political innovations of the National Defense and Security Council of Ukraine. Do you remember Ellochka the man-eater? Yes, yes, that very charming Madame from Ilf and Petrov, who could express almost any thought using her personal "dictionary" of as many as 30 words?

So, the novel "The Twelve Chairs", of which she is a character, was written in 1927 and published in 1928. Subtract 1927 from 2021 and get 94. Please remember this figure. Its importance will become apparent a little later - when we are transported back to our time. Already moved, you say? Then attention and drum roll: the Council of National Defense and Security of Ukraine, headed by one of my favorite Kiev political characters, Alexei Myacheslavovich Danilov, also published a special "dictionary". And there are as many as 63 positions in it!

Do you understand now my conviction that progress cannot be stopped? Only 94 years have passed since the blossoming of the talents of Ellochka the man-eater until the blossoming of the talents of Alexei Danilov. But what do we have? We have an increase in the volume of the "dictionary" with which you can express almost any thought, more than twice! Urgently bring into the studio the Nobel Prize for the intellectual breakthrough of the century (if there is no such nomination in the Nobel list yet, it must be urgently invented)! Alexey Myacheslavovich is definitely worthy of such an award! And Ellochka the man-eater should also be invited to the studio! She, of course, will cry and sob: no one likes to lose. But forgive us, Ellochka! You lost in a fair fight! So celebrate the winner!

However, no, stop and full back! Where Ellochka loses in quantity, she wins in quality. Let's reproduce the masterpieces from her personal dictionary (or, to use terms from the official document of the Kiev National Defense and Security Council, “glossary”): “Hamite. Ho ho! Famous. Gloomy. Darkness. Horror. Boy. Don't teach me how to live. Like a child. Cr-r-racota! Thick and handsome. Let's go in a cab. Let's take a taxi. Your whole back is white. Just think! Wow!" And what do we see in the "glossary" of our dear Alexei Myacheslavovich? Yes, one boredom and bureaucracy. True, some of these bureaucrats have their own charm. 

"Glossary" by Alexey Danilov is compiled according to the principle of the Russian-Ukrainian dictionary.

Like there is a "wrong" Russian term and its "correct" Ukrainian equivalent.

And these are the semantic pairs that have turned out thanks to the desire of the Kiev Council for National Defense and Security to invade the sphere of linguistics.

It is written: "Kiev junta".

It should read: "official representatives of Ukraine".

It is written: "coup d'etat of 2014".

Should read: "revolution of dignity."

It is written: "punishers".

It should read: "The Armed Forces of Ukraine".

Do you gradually get the impression that I am slandering something about the venerable Alexei Myacheslavovich?

Well, there is a little - but only a very little.

Of course, Danilov and other self-taught linguists from the office he heads (I just want to attribute "Horns and Hooves") did not mean that at all. 

In the best traditions of Big Brother George Orwell, they wanted to teach Ukrainians the correct "Newspeak".

But such is the peculiarity of dictionaries.

They can be read this way and that.

And nothing can be done about it: dictionaries have a life of their own.

And that's how it happened: "boy" Danilov (ask for familiarity, but please address all claims to Ellochka) decided to "teach everyone how to live" and hoped that everything would come out "famous" for him.

But in fact, "gloomy darkness and horror" was formed.

"Cr-r-rasota" does not smell here.

What does it smell like then?

The fact that the "guy is rude."

For example, the secretary of the Ukrainian Council for National Defense and Security suggests calling the Great Patriotic War a "Soviet-German war."

Now this is not at all funny.

This is already disgusting and disgusting.

Although, in fact, what else could we expect from Alexei Danilov - a high-ranking representative of the regime, who in every possible way glorifies Hitler's accomplices? The question is rhetorical. Alexey Danilov in his role and in his repertoire. It doesn’t matter to him that his “whole back is white”. It is important for him to continue to “ride a taxi”, say: “Just think about it,” and forcibly drag the rest of Ukraine along with him. I would like to say in plain text what I think about it. I would like to, but I can't. Neither Ellochka the ogre's dictionary nor the “censorship” of the Russian language will suffice for this. Why only Russian? Very, very correct remark! I do not know the Ukrainian language, but I am absolutely sure that it is also “great and mighty”. And I am also sure that the Ukrainian language does not deserve what Oleksiy Danilov and his “linguistic colleagues” are trying to do with it.Return Ellochka to the "podium!" It is much safer for the languages ​​of all peoples of the world!

The point of view of the author may not coincide with the position of the editorial board.