"Social fear", "ceiling", "cow miscellaneous disease"... With so many social terms, what is the ultimate mystery
Recently, noun tags about social interaction can be said to be endless, from our old friends "social phobia" to the new emergence of "social cow syndrome", "social cow syndrome", and "social ceiling". People caught off guard: What do these mean?
What kind of me?
Are these "symptoms" all diseases?
How to "cure"?
Daily "social fear" is not a disease, so reduce attention and stress
I don’t dare to say hello to friends I don’t know very well on the street. I will pretend to play with my mobile phone when I meet my colleagues in the elevator. The performance of "social phobia".
But don't worry too much. In fact, what we call "social terror" in our daily life is far from the "disease" in psychology.
There is indeed a "social anxiety disorder" (also known as "social phobia") in psychology. However, its diagnostic criteria are not only avoidance of social interaction, social fear or anxiety, etc., but also "this fear of anxiety causes clinical pain , Causing damage to occupational or other important functions".
Most people who call themselves "social terror" are actually always anxious while overcoming them, and their normal work and life will not be seriously affected.
Most of our usual social tensions and anxiety are normal reactions, because in the face of stress, our body will help us mobilize resources and become excited, making us more energetic and louder when speaking in public, etc. .
If we interpret these reactions as "I'm ready" and "I'm so excited", we won't feel so anxious; and if we interpret these reactions as expressions of nervousness, what if we are always worried about our bad performance, we will " Social fear".
Fortunately, most of our worries are "thinking too much".
There is a "spotlight effect" in psychology, which refers to the fact that we always overestimate the degree to which others pay attention to ourselves.
In fact, the things we worry about when we are "social fear", and those things that make us feel embarrassed before we go to bed to dig out three rooms and one living room, others simply don't care and remember.
People who know how to reduce others' attention to themselves will not be so "social fear".
"Social miscellaneous" is the norm, it is to face others more
"Social cow syndrome" is a new term. People who claim to have "cow syndrome" sometimes "social fear" and sometimes "social cow".
For example, some people usually go awkward, and "people go crazy" when they are with friends; some children are devils at home and become quiet as chickens when they see relatives; these are jokingly called "social cow miscellaneous diseases" by contemporary netizens. .
But when the psychologist knows this term, he will think that this is our normal state. Who is not crazy in front of acquaintances and friends, like a naive child, in front of the leaders and elders, to be a cautious adult?
It is unnecessary to call it "symptoms".
Communication analysis theory believes that each of us’s self can be divided into three parts: parental self-state, which is like the role of parents, which plays a vigilant and normative role; adult self-state, which makes judgments on the actual situation and chooses We think the better solution to the problem; the self-state of children preserves the thoughts, feelings and actions of childhood. Even when we grow up, we will still react in the way of past experience. Sometimes willful and playful from time to time, these child-like coping styles are the manifestation of children's self-state.
Usually, we show people as adults, but when we get along with friends, we can lay down our defenses and make some naive actions. These are all very normal.
"Ceiling" is not necessarily commendatory, it is all about comfort
"Social ceiling" is also a word that has been popular for a long time. If you search for this word on the short video platform, you will see some people eating pancakes by Starbucks and shouting "the taste of childhood"; some people eat watermelon, Bian swayed in front of the background board of the "Military Training Policy"... as if they didn't care about the opinions of others at all, and the word "influencing others" did not exist in their world.
Although we call this behavior the "social ceiling," it's not all praise.
What we admire is their free conversation and generous demeanor, rather than grandstanding or influencing others' performances.
We are living in society, and it is inevitable to socialize. So, what kind of scale is good?
Perhaps the ultimate meaning of social interaction is to make yourself and others comfortable.
The reason why we dislike a part of the behavior in the name of "ceiling" is because it makes people around us uncomfortable, and the reason why we adjust our social fear is because it makes us uncomfortable.
In addition, if you are not afraid of socializing and avoid crowds, but you prefer to be alone, this is not called "social fear", but your own tendency to acquire abilities. Just do what suits you.
May we be comfortable in moderate social interactions.
Yin Jinxiu Source: China Youth Daily