Violence against women: "Don't be that guy"

In the course of their lives, girls and women learn a kind of set of rules on how they can protect themselves from sexual violence.

Don't drink too much alcohol, don't take your eyes off your glass, avoid dark alleys on the way home, make phone calls on the way or rather take a taxi straight away - and, this is often still on the list, maybe rethink your revealing outfit.

Women’s parking spaces in underground garages, more video surveillance and better lighting in public places should strengthen the feeling of security, code words in bars and telephone hotlines should enable uncomplicated help.

Julia Anton

Editor in the Society department at FAZ.NET

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These are things that often help, but not always: In March, a young woman was kidnapped, raped and murdered on her way home in London.

Sarah Everard had worn flashy clothes and comfortable shoes, and shortly before she disappeared she had been seen on surveillance cameras.

The perpetrator, a police officer, was caught shortly afterwards - but it was too late for Everard.

The case sparked a debate in Great Britain about sexism and violence against women as well as skepticism towards the security authorities, to which the London police responded with further advice: If in doubt, flag a bus or call in other passers-by.

"The problem looks us straight in the face"

The Scottish Police are currently trying a different approach. “Don't be that guy” is the name of the campaign that went online this week. It is intended to prevent sexual violence against women and is explicitly aimed at the male gender. The campaign clip shows several young men speaking directly into the camera and initially sketching out supposedly harmless situations: “Have you ever called a woman a 'doll'? Or whistled after her on the street? Have you ever stared at a woman on the bus and said to your buddy: 'I'll get this one'? "Gradually the intensity increases: It's about sending unsolicited genital photos,about serving numerous drinks - “then what? To drag her completely drunk into a taxi and drive to you? ”It's about inducing feelings of guilt because women who have been given something have to give something back to men, for pressure and pressure - until sexual acts occur, too against the will of the woman.

“Most men look in the mirror and see no problem.

But it looks us straight in the face, ”sum up the men, who all seem like the friendly guy next door.

“Sexual violence often starts earlier than you think.

Don't be that guy. "

Get into conversation

The campaign met with enthusiasm, especially among women and activists: "Too often we experience that violence against women is an issue that women are burdened with to resolve by adapting their behavior," said Andrea Simon from End Violence Against Women Coalition of The Guardian newspaper. This is not only ineffective and tiring, but also promotes the belief that victims are responsible for what happens to them. “The campaign has a welcome focus on men's behavior and what they can do to prevent sexual violence.” Scottish Prime Minister Nicola Sturgeon urged men to watch the clip and share it in their community, British commentators praised the campaign as "Powerful".On Twitter alone, the video was viewed more than two million times and shared more than 22,000 times by noon on Saturday.

And what do the addressees of the campaign say? The verdict is split on Twitter. Some report that they were moved by the video, others complain that not all men behaved wrongly, many assert that they have never behaved wrongly themselves, some feel unjustly pilloried.

Graham Goulden speaks out on the campaign website that of course not all men are perpetrators, but that everyone should deal with sexual violence against women. Goulden previously worked for the Scottish Police for over 30 years. After all, most perpetrators are male: “In the area of ​​sexual and domestic violence, the vast majority of victims are female, while men make up the perpetrator group.” Statistics show that in Great Britain a woman is killed by a man every three days. In a study by UN Women, 71 percent of British women said they had experienced sexual harassment in public.

“Ask the women in your life: They will tell you about harassment, about cat-calling in the streets,” Goulden urges. Such experiences are often talked down - while women organized their lives to avoid such situations. The image of a male's right to sex, which is anchored in society, also plays a role. Therefore, the debate concerns everyone. "We don't have to defend ourselves or feel attacked, it's about getting men into the debate and talking about what we can do," says the former policeman, addressing other men. And that is something: for example, listening to women, reflecting on their own choice of words and behavior - and intervening when you see other men harass women. “Find a way to get into conversation with other men."