Chinanews client, Beijing, October 17 (Reporter Yuan Xiuyue) 2021 is not over yet, and some viewers have awarded their "Annual Variety Show" awards to "Goodbye Lover" in advance.
This quite experimental divorce variety show created a special "cooling-off period" in the form of travel. Three divorced or about to divorce couples, after 18 days of travel, decide whether to separate.
Although people generally agree with the dramatic nature of reality shows, divorce, a private matter with very personal emotions, still gives the audience a strong sense of substitution.
Whether it is "difficult to make sense" or "BE aesthetics", why do contemporary young people feel the same in the divorce variety show?
"Goodbye Lover" poster
The difference between middle-aged couples
In life, marriage is mostly not a matter of two people. It also involves children, both parents, relatives and friends, and so on.
"Goodbye Lover" precisely separates the guests from the complicated interpersonal relationship, focusing only on the feelings of the couple.
The three couples are at different stages. Zhang He and Guo Keyu are divorced for one year, Wang Qiuyu and Zhu Yaqiong are in the "divorce cooling period", Wei Wei and Tong Chenjie have not yet divorced.
As the trip came to an end, the problems between them were basically exposed, and some guests even incurred scolding from netizens.
The high emotional concentration of the show can be described as "male and female tears".
In the latest issue of 36 questions between husband and wife, several guests in the observation room couldn't help crying.
It's not that the plot is too bloody, but because it's too real.
When Wang Qiuyu finally met each other, he said that he suddenly found that Zhu Yaqiong had grown a lot older, and opened the tears of the two with one sentence.
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Guo Keyu and Zhang He were very relaxed when they asked each other, except that they couldn't control their emotions in the past ten years, and in the end they met with tears.
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Wei Wei and Tong Chenjie were able to open up their hearts, but when Wei Wei said, "We may have one or two very cute children", Tong Chenjie poured cold water on "We may be separated."
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The problems between each couple are plain and daily, but the fragmented perceptions and misplaced expectations make each other alienated.
They all have deep feelings, understand and are similar to each other, and have been with each other through hard or beautiful years, but there are always some problems that cannot be overcome, and they have to consider divorce to solve them completely.
People who have to get divorced in middle age are much more "tragic" than breaking up when they are young, because it is not just a change of life style, but also a farewell to a journey of life.
As an audience, I can't help but sigh.
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Enlightenment from married life
In terms of practical experience, "Goodbye Lover" provides us with several templates.
In married life, in addition to material conditions, family relations and social external factors, factors such as communication, native family and the realization of self-worth are also worthy of attention.
Zhang He, Guo Keyu, Wang Qiuyu and Zhu Yaqiong did not form a good way of communication.
The former uses a high heart wall to separate each other, puts self-esteem in front of the lover, maintains decency, but loses the possibility of further understanding.
The latter is a transition between silence and hysteria, and calm and effective communication becomes a problem.
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Wei Wei and Tong Chenjie have a good example in this regard, but they are faced with a principled problem-whether to have children or not.
There is also the shadow of the original family behind, both of them are single-parent families, especially Tong Chenjie is even more insecure.
The one who was most affected by his native family was Wang Qiuyu. The genius education he faced when he was a child made him lack of emotional expression.
Zhu Yaqiong and Guo Keyu are in similar situations. One is to pursue independent self-growth, and the other is to continue to love the career and desired life. Both chose to pursue the realization of self-worth.
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Modern view of marriage
A relationship is out of control. Not overnight, there are traces of changes in marriage views in each era.
The problems faced by several couples in "Goodbye Lover" also show the trend of marriage in modern society.
In 2007, a study pointed out that the production function of the family in modern society has weakened, and the function of emotional comfort has become increasingly prominent.
The concept of "people-oriented" has become the core of modern marriage concepts, and "people's needs are paramount" began to replace "family interests are paramount."
Recently, a survey conducted by the research group of the Research Center for the Theoretical System of Socialism with Chinese Characteristics of the Communist Youth League Central Committee described the "Generation Z" view of marriage-"Generation Z" youths have a stronger sense of independence in marriage and love, focusing on self-experience and autonomy. choose.
If marriage cannot improve their quality of life, or affect the realization of personal self-worth, they are unwilling to accept and choose marriage.
Show poster
From paying attention to self to emphasizing self, we can see that young people have higher requirements and expectations for marriage.
However, in the period of social transformation, the traditional concepts of the past have not completely disappeared, and different concepts of marriage collide in reality. How should we treat marriage correctly?
In the program, Hu Yanbin mentioned that people from the last era would repair the clocks at home if they were broken, while people in this era would throw them away and replace them with new ones.
As society has progressed, has the way people manage their marriages improved along with it?
This may be the inspiration that the show has brought to contemporary young people.
"It is always easy to give up, and to maintain the relationship is the most difficult." Rather than escape, perhaps we should learn how to deal with an intimate relationship and how to face the cracks in an intimate relationship.
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