Can a couple survive an infidelity like that of Fernando Gago with his wife's best friend?

"This afternoon I come sad and I have to tell you that your best friend has been in my arms. (...) I will not do it again, I will not do it again."

wear a nose

on this 1976 hit, where he told his partner that he had just been unfaithful with her best friend.

"I'm very sorry, life is like that," he added, as if shaking off the responsibility of the matter.

Luckily for Giacobbe's 'victim', she at least saved herself the drink of finding her partner in her own bed and in full lovemaking, something that did happen to

the wife of soccer player

whose infidelity , cause of the divorce between the tennis player and the ex-Madridista is trending topic these days.

It is surprising so much noise by the news, since this type of infidelity is more seen than the comic; "Unfortunately," writes British couples therapy psychologist

"people tend to fall in love with someone with whom they have frequent friction, whether in the world of work or in their circle of friends." And in statements to Yo Dona she explains that "It is not that it is easier, in fact it is more difficult to cover up ... Probably the victim of infidelity will have seen 'things' between her partner and her friend that have made her feel uncomfortable, but he has put them out of his mind because he trusted both of them. "

It seems that the thing begins in the thoughts and ends in the actions.

In Spain, a survey carried out a few years ago by IPSOS revealed that six out of 10 men had masturbated thinking of someone they knew in their circle (compared to three out of 10 women) ... And it is unlikely that it was the goalkeeper of your property (although who knows).

However, Marshall is strict in stating that having sex with one's partner's best friend is neither the main sexual fantasy of men nor is it the first cause of infidelity.

INFIDELESS LIKE FERNANDO GAGO

There is also no lack of concrete and high-profile cases.

was unfaithful to his first wife,

with her best friend,

with the aggravation that his wife was pregnant when she found out about the affair. And in 2009,

junior, the son of

and

revealed how his father had cheated on his mother with her best friend,

(

ex

Even

was accused by the press of being unfaithful to

with one of her best friends,

Marchioness of Cholmondele, two years ago. Guillermo threatened to sue the media that had suggested such a thing, although in the end neither the jug reached the source nor the blood to the river.

This type of

is, according to

(author of books like 'Make love like an animal' (ed. Planeta) or 'I Love You But I'm Not in Love With You', not published in Spain) , one of those who

can do the

most

to a partner, but especially to those who suffer it in their own flesh: "After all, the two people you trust the most in your life are your

and your

The feeling being brutally assaulted can be overwhelming. "

Suddenly, explains the expert in 'I Can't Get Over My Partner's Affair', your partner becomes "a real

" for you.

HOW TO OVERCOME DOUBLE INFIDELITY

The million dollar question is: can you survive an infidelity of this caliber? Marshall sees it as complicated, though not impossible: "This extreme betrayal is harder than any other because the wife feels doubly betrayed (and the pain runs deeper). Normally she will disown her friend for 'false' and most of the blame (probably unfairly) will fall on 'own door' ", declares to Yo Dona.

"Sometimes, although he would like to move on with his partner, who has suffered infidelity is plagued by

in his head, or overwhelmed by

", he writes in his book, "the betrayal has been so great that the

It's

. If you can't get over your partner's affair, it's easy to come to the conclusion that the

and you

. "

"The German philosopher

called marriage the 'great dialogue', which means we have to keep talking and being curious about each other," explains Marshall.

"Unfortunately, many couples abandon this conversation and substitute it for pure shorthand (thus not explaining or understanding each other adequately), and still believe that they 'know' each other. And in the end the exchange comes down to giving or receive instructions from each other (at this point is a couple having a marriage or just a business arrangement to raise children?) ".

Understand the other (even if it is not easy) and negotiate

For Marshall, when a family with children is at stake, it may be worth stopping, listening to the other, trying to understand their point of view, and negotiating when different needs collide. Perhaps, he explains, this can help the couple "find a way through this madness and restore mutual love."

In many of these cases, however, the solution will be to find external help in the consultation of a

to help them learn skills that allow them to find a way out of the situation.

If we take into account that according to various surveys carried out in Spain in the last decade (IPSOS, YouGov ...), around

have ever been

to their partner, it would not hurt if many began to practice those skills.

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