Those old people who left home to take care of their children
Investigation on the Living Situation of the "Old Piao People": It is not easy to integrate into a new life in a foreign country
Editor's note
"Mo Dao Sangyu evening, the sky is full of sunshine." October 14 is the Double Ninth Festival, which is also the 9th statutory "Elderly Day" in my country.
According to the results of the seventh national census, there are 260 million people aged 60 and over in my country, accounting for 18.7% of the country's total population, of which 190 million people are 65 and over.
Some of them left home in a "migratory bird style" to support their children's careers and take care of their grandchildren, and wandered to unfamiliar cities; some caused the "empty nest" of their families due to female migrant workers, and they stayed behind in the village because of their strong rural complex. For various reasons, there are no children to become orphaned elderly people... What are their living conditions, what difficulties are they facing, and how to achieve "all the elderly have a sense of security, support, happiness, and peace"?
Recently, reporters from the "Rules of Law Daily" conducted in-depth interviews on the above issues. From today on, a series of reports will be published in the Rule of Law Jingwei Edition, so stay tuned.
● According to Chinese traditional concepts, the elderly often take on the heavy responsibility of "carrying children and doing housework" in the family.
Among them, with the rapid advancement of urbanization and the acceleration of population flow, more and more elderly people have left their homes to take care of their children and come to strange cities and walk into strange environments.
● Elderly living with their children can effectively integrate family resources on the one hand and jointly deal with the dual challenges of providing for the elderly and raising children; on the other hand, when an elderly migrant is facing a new life that is "uprooted", the family members can Frictions and conflicts are likely to increase
● In addition to being busy with children and doing housework all day long, language barriers, intellectual gaps, loneliness, difficulty in seeking medical treatment and reimbursement in different places, and worrying about their lack of physical energy and energy are also problems that the "old drifters" face all the time.
□ Our reporter Zhao Li
□ Intern Yang Yinan
The couple concentrated on earning money and went ahead, and the grandmother took care of the children at home.
This kind of division of labor was originally perfect in Wang Yan (pseudonym), but recently "the dream is broken"-both grandma and child Qiqi have some psychological problems. "When I heard the diagnosis of the psychologist, I collapsed".
When Qiqi was born 4 months ago, Wang Yan returned to work, and her grandma rushed from her hometown to Beijing and began to take care of Qiqi personally and take care of the housework.
Behind the seeming balance lies the psychological imbalance of grandma—the anxiety of being "trapped" in this home, coupled with the inability to fulfill her filial piety and the phone call from her mother before the bed, makes grandma "love and hate" Qiqi. In the words of a psychological counselor, "Qiqi has become a tool for grandma to realize value." 6-year-old children are no longer allowed to make any mistakes and lose the right to cry.
Although the situation of Wang Yan's family is a bit special, there are indeed various problems with the "old drifters" who rushed to the city from their hometown to take care of their children.
64-year-old Wu Aifang (pseudonym) is from Hunan. His son chose to stay and work in Beijing after graduating from university.
Two years ago, in order to take care of her young granddaughter, Wu Aifang was invited by her son to live with her son and daughter-in-law in Yanjiao, Langfang, Hebei (near Beijing), taking care of the family's daily life.
"When I'm old, I can't do anything else. I can only look at my grandchildren and do some housework for the children to be happy." Wu Aifang said, but behind the happiness, only she knows how much she has given.
According to data from the seventh national census in 2020, there are more than 260 million people over the age of 60 in my country, accounting for 18.7%.
According to Chinese traditional concepts, these elderly people often take on the heavy responsibility of "carrying children and doing housework" in the family.
Among them, with the rapid advancement of urbanization and the acceleration of population mobility, more and more elderly people have left their homes to take care of their children and come to strange cities and enter unfamiliar environments.
Do these old people get used to living in a foreign land?
Are you in harmony with your neighbors?
Is it convenient to go to a doctor if you are sick...With these questions, a reporter from the Rule of Law Daily launched an investigation.
Always busy
Pick up the children to buy vegetables and cook three points and one line
"Don't say anything, I have to cook for my grandson, otherwise it will be too late." Chen Lu, 62, looked up at the clock from time to time when interviewed by reporters in her rental house in Zhengyang County, Zhumadian, Henan Province, near 11 noon. , Hurriedly ended the interview.
Chen Lu is a native of Luhe Township, Zhengyang County.
In order to allow his grandson to receive a better education, his son transferred the child to school in the county seat, and Chen Lu also began to rent a house to accompany him to school.
"There are still fields at home, and there is a small vegetable plot in front of the house with chickens and ducks. These are also inseparable from people, so his grandfather stayed at home."
Schools, vegetable markets and rental houses are the three most frequent places Chen Lu goes to in her life as a student in the county.
The rental room is not big, only a bed and a wardrobe can be placed in the room.
In this cramped space, Chen Lu still managed to place a desk for the child.
The child is in the second year of junior high school this year. From the certificate posted above the desk, it can be seen that he has excellent academic performance.
"These awards are also my medals of military merit, and they can be considered worthy of his parents, worthy of myself." Chen Lu said proudly.
According to the landlord, because the location is relatively close to the No. 1 Primary School and No. 1 Middle School of Zhengyang County, the empty house at home is rented to tenants like Chen Lu who bring children to school. Most of them are elderly and grandchildren because the parents of the children want Going out to work to make money, after all, it takes a lot of expenditure to provide for the children to study and to live the elderly.
On Chen Lu's mobile alarm clock, only three times were set: 5 in the morning, 11 noon and 4:30 in the afternoon.
This is the time to remind Chen Lu to cook, "It doesn't matter if I eat earlier or later, mainly because my grandson is going to school and everything has to follow his time."
To cook on time, eat on time, and pick up and drop off the children, we must remember to obey, and this is also true for Wu Aifang.
Since her son and daughter-in-law have to get up early to go to work, Wu Aifang has to make breakfast before 7 o'clock every day. After the son and daughter-in-law have finished eating, she shouts to her granddaughter for dinner, "One step late, one step late, and the time is fixed."
"How can there be any idle time? After eating and sending the children to school, you have to go shopping. After buying the food, you have to wash the floor and mopping the floor. As long as you want, there will always be all kinds of housework waiting for you." In answer to the reporter" When asked about what to do in my free time, Wu Aifang said with emotion when he looked at the clothes of the whole family that had just been washed and dried.
When she first came to Yanjiao, Wu Aifang was not familiar with everything, so she could only go to the supermarket downstairs to buy fine dishes. Later, she accidentally learned that there was a large vegetable market 3 kilometers nearby and the price of fresh vegetables was low, so she walked back and forth 6 times a day. Kilometers go to the vegetable market to purchase.
"The time is up, I have to pick up my granddaughter from school. You see, I bought a la carte this morning and did nothing else." Wu Aifang said with some chagrin.
"Nothing was done." It is often Wu Aifang's evaluation of her busy life.
During the visits to some parks and communities in Beijing, the reporter fully felt that living together with their children can effectively integrate family resources on the one hand and jointly cope with the dual challenges of providing for the elderly and raising children; When a new life is "uprooted", friction and conflict between family members are likely to intensify.
Aunt Han, 63, told reporters that she couldn't bear her daughter-in-law's living habits.
After coming to Beijing from Hubei to help her granddaughter, Aunt Han, who is usually thrifty and hard-working, is particularly uncomfortable with her daughter-in-law's "buy, buy, and buy".
I really couldn't help but nag with my son, and my son advised her to keep an eye on her and not to worry about young people.
She is always tired from doing housework and taking children. There is nowhere to tell the grievances in her heart. Her wife is not around, and she has no friends. She has never participated in community activities. Under the pressure, she has always wanted to bring her granddaughter back to Hubei to live.
Not fit
Language barriers, social barriers, various dilemmas
From the countryside to the city, traveling thousands of miles from the hometown to a strange city, the elderly often find it difficult to adapt to the new life while helping their children to take care of their grandchildren.
The language barrier is the first problem encountered by the "old drifters".
"I don't know how to speak Mandarin. Sometimes when I go out to chat with others, others don't understand what I'm talking about." Wu Aifang was a little embarrassed.
Because of this, she has not made any friends after living in Yanjiao for two years.
Wu Aifang occasionally hears about cultural events held in the community, but she has never participated, "I don't know how to communicate. And it's too busy. I don't have much time to take care of the children and do housework."
This problem also exists in the Liu family. They are 70 years old this year. Six months ago, in order to take care of their granddaughter who was renting a house in Beijing alone, they came to Beijing from their hometown in Henan. There is nothing wrong, so I will come to Beijing to take care of her."
Due to language barriers, Liu and his wife encountered a lot of problems when they first arrived in Beijing. "I wanted to buy a pork sanxian bun, but the bun seller couldn't understand it. Finally, I pointed at the price list and they figured it out."
In their hometown, Liu and his wife would go for a walk in the square near their home after dinner every day and chat with everyone; after they came to Beijing, the two seldom went out and didn't like to interact with people.
"People don't understand me, so naturally they don't want to talk to me. Rather than being like a fool in the crowd, it's better to stay at home and not go out." Mr. Liu said, they are now around the children every day and are busy with housework. "The community is full of high-rise buildings, and each family has its own family. Neighbors meet up to say hello, and there is no in-depth communication, so it is not familiar."
Wu Aifang also feels deeply about this.
She said: "We all live in high-rise buildings, and we close the door when we enter the house. There is basically no communication between the neighbors, and the interpersonal relationship is relatively weak."
According to Wang Yan’s mother, there are thousands of people living in more than 10 residential buildings in this community, but they are all strangers-because they can’t speak Mandarin and are illiterate, her circle of friends here is only her sons and daughter-in-laws. ; There is only one neighbor who can be called a nodding acquaintance; the average number of walks in the community is only once a month.
In the past two years, Wang Yan's mother's mood has become worse and worse.
In the words of the old man, his old mother is still alive, but she can't fulfill her filial piety before the bed. She feels very guilty, but she also knows that her daughter needs manpower here.
Only when facing her granddaughter did she feel that she was needed.
But when the children go home, Wang Yan’s mother often feels very disappointed: “After they come back, they either watch TV, play mobile phones, amuse their children, or are busy with work. I understand that it’s normal for them to be tired during the day and don’t want to talk. , But this kind of life is really tormenting. Sometimes I feel that I have been sentenced to a'fixed-term imprisonment', and I don't know when I will be able to go home'after my sentence.'"
The intelligence gap is the second problem encountered by the "old drifters".
Wu Aifang has been studying the way of life that young people are accustomed to using elevators and swiping codes for a long time.
Wu Aifang lives on the 28th floor. When she first came to Yanjiao, she never dared not to take the elevator alone.
The older Lius still don’t use smartphones, and they don’t know what to pay by swiping codes. They still choose cash when they go shopping.
"My granddaughter taught me many times, but I always can't remember. It's better to use cash to teach." Then, Mr. Liu took out a box and opened it with various change coins. "Look, These are what I usually save, for the convenience of shopping."
Loneliness is the third problem encountered by these old people.
Like Wu Aifang, Chen Lu also has no friends in the county.
Although Chen Lu does not have the problem of language barriers, she rarely interacts with people.
He knew no one except the landlord, and occasionally greeted the neighbors who rented the same house and closed the door.
The only way to communicate with the outside world is through your mobile phone.
"Loneliness is for sure. Grandson can still talk to me when he comes back. Usually I am alone in the house, and there is no sound." In order to save phone bills, Chen Lu wouldn't even make calls easily.
The Liu and his wife living in Beijing are also deeply lonely. "I only hope that my granddaughter will be successfully admitted to graduate school this year, and our old couple can go home as soon as possible. There is no acquaintance here, and no one knows."
Upset
Worried about not having enough physical energy to become a burden
"Fear" and "worry" are words that reporters often hear when interviewing these elderly people.
Although they have paid a lot for their families and younger generations, the old people still worry that they are not doing well enough, and worry that their physical strength and energy are not enough. If they don't help, they have become a burden on the children.
In order to let the parents pass the time, her daughter bought a tablet for them and downloaded TV series such as Romance of the Three Kingdoms and Journey to the West.
But in order not to disturb his granddaughter's study, Mr. Liu never dared to make a sound and just watched the picture, "We only see 8 o'clock in the evening, for fear that we won't wake up the next day and delay making breakfast."
Wu Aifang's daughter-in-law is from the Northeast. To take care of her daughter-in-law's taste, she will watch some short videos of cooking in her free time.
Because she was worried about her young granddaughter playing with her mobile phone, she always avoided her granddaughter to look at the mobile phone, and she did not dare to watch it for too long. , On the other hand, I slept too late and didn’t have the energy to do housework the next day.”
Some old people said frankly that they didn't know when they learned to look at the "faces" of their children.
Yang Qingguo (pseudonym), who originally lived in rural Henan, moved to Zhumadian to live with his daughter after his wife died.
Apart from picking up children and finishing housework, Mr. Yang's only hobby is playing mahjong.
"My daughter doesn't like me playing mahjong. She will be unhappy when she hears that I play mahjong. As time passes, I won't go." Old man Yang, who has nowhere to go, can only sit at home in a daze during his free time.
Chen Lu is always a little nervous every time he reports to his son the current situation of his grandson.
"If my grandson did well in the exam this time, I would be more confident, otherwise I would always feel that I was responsible and didn't take my grandson well."
For the elderly, they are more afraid of becoming a drag.
Yang Qingguo's health is not very good. At the beginning of this year, he suffered a stroke and stayed in bed for nearly a month.
In order not to cause trouble for his daughter, Mr. Yang went to the nearby supermarket to buy food and cook as soon as he got out of bed. ".
Chen Lu also sighed: "It's because of my strong health, otherwise no one will take care of my grandson, and someone will have to take care of me, making life more difficult for my son and daughter-in-law."
After a long time in the field, some old people miss home very much, but the reality is very helpless.
"Compared with my child's parents, I must have spent more time with my child. But the child is now in school and is in school during the day." When it comes to my son and daughter-in-law who are busy with work every day and don’t have time to accompany the child, I still have to spend more time now. After a long time, Wu Aifang's eyes dimmed a lot.
Wu Haixia, an associate researcher at the Institute of Population and Labor Economics of the Chinese Academy of Social Sciences, said that with the acceleration of my country’s urbanization process and population migration, many elderly people use their parents to seek support for the elderly or help their children take care of their children. .
Wu Haixia told reporters that the emergence of the "Lao Piao tribe" reflects the changes in contemporary family intergenerational support and intergenerational relationships in our country, that is, it has shifted from the traditional parental authority that focuses on parents to focus on the family investment of offspring. The progeny of the authoritative period, to a certain extent, shows the lack of childcare and child care in our country and the imperfect service for the elderly.
Afraid of getting sick
Reimbursement for medical treatment in a different place is a big problem
These old people drifting in a foreign land also have a common worry-fear of getting sick.
During the interview, a number of "old drifters" reported to reporters that some of the medicines they need can only be prescribed by doctors in their hometown hospitals, and they can only be prescribed for one month at a time. It takes a long time in different places and it is inconvenient to travel back and forth. The medical insurance card purchases medicines and medical expenses reimbursement has become the biggest problem.
Usually if she has a cold or other minor illnesses, Wu Aifang will go to a community hospital to see a doctor, and if she has a condition that requires further examination, she will go to a major hospital, and occasionally go to a pharmacy to buy some commonly used medicines, but whether it is a pharmacy, a community hospital or a major hospital , The reimbursement of outpatient expenses made her feel very complicated.
Dong Leiming, a professor of sociology at Beijing Normal University, said that with the increase in social mobility in my country, there are more and more elderly people in the floating population. Policies must be introduced at the national level to ensure that these elderly people can use medical insurance conveniently and conveniently.
In fact, relevant policies have been promulgated at the national level. The question is how to ensure full implementation, that is, the issue of policy implementation.
Professor Lu Jiehua of the Department of Sociology of Peking University told reporters that my country’s medical insurance is basically coordinated by province. It is relatively difficult for the elderly to seek medical treatment in different places. Although individual areas have solved the problem of reimbursement of medical insurance for the elderly in different places, most areas still have not solved it. With the increase of middle-aged and elderly people, this problem has become more prominent.
"Whether the elderly are helpless or willing to live with their children, give intergenerational support to their children, or receive support for their children, there will be problems such as difficulties for the elderly to seek medical treatment in different places, adapt to living in different places, and difficulties in social integration with their current residence. Among them, with the increase of age, the decline in physical function, the increase in the prevalence of various chronic diseases and major diseases, and the relocation of medical treatment for the elderly and the reimbursement of medical expenses have become a major problem." Wu Haixia believes that in terms of medical security, the national medical insurance network should be accelerated. System construction to realize regional medical insurance reimbursement interconnection as soon as possible.
Wu Haixia said that at present, the country has some corresponding measures. For example, in order to solve the problem of reimbursement of medical insurance in other places, it is stipulated that the medical insurance list of the place of medical treatment shall prevail, and the drugs, diagnosis and treatment items, and service facilities in the catalog will be generated during a certain diagnosis and treatment process. Expenses are included in the reimbursement and are subject to the policy of the insured area, including the reimbursement threshold, reimbursement ratio, and maximum limit.
The reporter noticed that on September 15, 2021, the National Medical Insurance Administration issued the "Notice on the Pilot Program of Direct Settlement of Outpatient Chronic Special Diseases Related Treatment Expenses across Provinces". , Anti-rejection treatments after organ transplantation, and 5 outpatients with high demand and widespread outpatient chronic diseases are included in the pilot program.
Wu Haixia believes that, based on this, in the future, it is necessary to accelerate the construction of the inter-provincial medical insurance reimbursement system, clarify the inter-provincial medical insurance reimbursement system, realize the settlement of medical expenses in different places, improve community inclusiveness at the community level, and provide migrant elderly people with medical expenses reimbursement in different places. Provide support for cross-regional networking and interoperability of old-age security, and strive to include the elderly living in different places into the medical, care, and entertainment service systems of the communities where they live, and provide the same services and rights as the elderly with local household registration in medical and elderly services. Family" solves the worries of the future.
According to Xinhua News Agency, in recent years, the government has issued many implementation measures from the national level to various provinces and cities to protect the rights and interests of the elderly.
The relevant clauses detail the preferential treatments available to the elderly at different ages in terms of government services, transportation, health care, and commercial services. The policies are very good, but the actual implementation situation is not good, and some policies have become "empty checks". .
"This situation exists. The'Lao Piao people' want to enjoy local high-quality public services and need a certain cost to support them. After all, no place is willing to bear the extra cost." Dong Leiming said, right to come to the city to take care of children The elderly should enjoy the same preferential policies, because the social significance of their coming to the city is to liberate their children living and working in the city and release their labor so that they can better invest in urban production and construction. In fact, this is also the elderly Indirectly contribute to local development.
Dong Leiming said that China’s intergenerational relationship is very close. A very important factor for young people to play lightly is the arrival and support of their parents, because parents take the burden of young people to raise the next generation, and the elderly are in this process. China not only worked very hard, but also made great sacrifices.
As for some elderly people who have “moved and cannot be moved” or “continued” due to medical insurance procedures, daily medical treatment and drug purchase have become troublesome problems. Lu Jiehua analyzed: “In the past, the overall planning of medical insurance in my country was based on prefectures and cities. Provincial overall planning has been achieved, but medical insurance has not yet achieved national overall planning. On the one hand, there may be technical problems, on the other hand, the level of medical insurance in different provinces is different. The root cause of the long-term unresolved problem."
"It is difficult to break through with the strength of one city and one province. If provinces with relatively large floating populations can gradually join forces with other provinces, this problem can be alleviated to a certain extent. If a national overall plan can be achieved, this problem can be fundamentally solved. , But also consider various factors such as system and technology." Lu Jiehua said.
A sense of confusion
Many people have not considered the future life
When asked about future life plans, the "old drifters" interviewed were quite confused.
"I don't know, take one step at a time." Wu Aifang said while choosing vegetables. When her granddaughter is older and does not need someone to take care of, she will go back to her hometown.
Since he has no job and no pension, the basic living expenses depend on his son. When talking about returning to his hometown, Wu Aifang said frankly that the cost of living in his hometown is lower and it can also help his son reduce financial pressure.
"Actually, I am quite satisfied with my current life. Living in a happy family is much happier than the old people in my hometown who have never seen children all the time." Wu Aifang said, most young people in the village choose to go out. As a migrant worker, he does not go home all the year round. Many elderly people also want to go to the city to help their children. They have no chance. "I should be content."
When Mr. Liu was young, he was a cadre of a state-owned enterprise, and his basic life was guaranteed to a certain extent, but facing the future life, he also did not have high expectations.
"It's enough to eat and wear warm clothes. What else?" Old Master Liu said, as long as he can take care of himself and his wife without causing trouble to his children, he will be satisfied.
Yang Qingguo, who has had a history of stroke, looked more anxious when he talked about the future. He frankly said he was very worried about his health.
"What does the sense of self-worth mean? I don't understand, we don't talk about those. I just thought, as long as the son's family is happy." Chen Lu said.
When asked how long she planned to "float" outside, Wang Yan's mother said: "The child is only in the second grade of elementary school, and no one is in charge now, so she has to stay for a few years." But she already has a plan and waits until her granddaughter enters junior high school. She no longer needs people to take care of her and go back to her hometown. She feels that she cannot adapt to the Beijing lifestyle. "The pace of life here is too fast to get used to."
In Wu Haixia's view, the "Lao Piao tribe" problem arises from the imbalance of regional socio-economic development and insufficient equalization of public services and social security.
At present, public services and social security in different provinces and regions, urban and rural areas have obvious household registration divisions, and there are differences in the public services and social security rights that different household registration status groups can enjoy.
After moving to the place where their children live, it is difficult for the elderly to be included in the medical care and welfare system for the elderly due to household registration restrictions, and they cannot fully enjoy the public services and social security of the place where they live.
Solving these problems requires linkage and support between national policies and provinces.
"In recent years, the number of'old drifters' has been increasing, but the overall concept and system for working with the elderly is still focusing on local elderly people, which makes it difficult for the elderly from other places to enjoy local preferential policies. Therefore, the work concept should be changed to treat the elderly equally. Let the elderly do something for the elderly.” Lu Jiehua suggested that all departments should conduct self-examination and self-correction work, and consider whether the relevant preferential treatment policies for the elderly have actually achieved the expected results. Quite a lot, but not all elderly people know about it and can enjoy it, so the relevant departments should take a variety of measures to solve this problem.
"The peace of mind of the'old drifters' requires the joint efforts of the state, society, communities, families and elderly individuals." Wu Haixia said, for example, the state needs to strengthen the formulation, adjustment and adjustment of policies and systems related to household registration management, medical security, and childcare. Implement.
She suggested that in terms of household registration management, further promote the residence permit registration system, relax or simplify the household registration policy for direct blood relatives, and protect the welfare and rights of the elderly who have defected to their children.
In terms of early childhood care, adapt to the needs of the three-child policy, introduce policies related to the public nursery system, accelerate the construction and supervision of the public nursery system, provide corresponding early childhood nursery services for families in need, and reduce the impact of children’s families on the elderly parents. Relying on the care of young children, reducing the burden of the elderly parents and reducing the size and number of "old drifters".
Create a good environment for the development of the childcare system at the social level.
Relevant departments need to provide support for the site selection and construction of early childhood care institutions; focus on the cultivation and training of employees of early childhood care services to ensure service quality.
Build a system and culture that is conducive to the integration of the elderly into society, increase the social tolerance of the elderly floating population, and reduce the mental pressure of the elderly living in different places.
"At the family level, generation gaps need to be reduced between generations, to deepen understanding, mutual respect and love, to build a harmonious family intergenerational relationship, and to better realize the elderly and support the children." Wu Haixia said.