"Love Brain" is out of date?

This young man likes evenly matched love

  People with obsessive attachments have a negative view of themselves, and their partner’s image in their hearts is very positive, so they seem to have lost their souls and hope that this good partner will not abandon the "bad" self.

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  "You Are My Glory" is over. The love between aerospace designer Yu Tu and actress Qiao Jingjing is sweet to many netizens.

The two are not only sweet, but they also love work. Yutu is busy with scientific research, working overtime is the norm, and writing papers when they go home.

Qiao Jingjing's dedicated staff also stands firm, insisting on using works to speak.

  Someone commented: "This is beautiful love. What are the weird love dramas that I liked when I was a kid?"

  Recalling this year's hit emotional drama, the protagonists seem to be both dedicated to love careers, and they are exclusive and sweet to each other.

"You are my city camp" tells the story of a special police captain and a neurosurgeon. They met because of their work and joined forces to deal with robbers; Everyone knows and loves each other because we handle the case together, and we are both online in the whole process.

  Will the audience stop eating "love brain" sweet dramas this year, and don't like "love brain" anymore?

What is the "love brain"?

May be obsessive attachment

  Previous TV dramas always like to play "love brain": the rich son broke with his family in order to be a poor hostess, gave up his studies and career, and just wanted to be with her... For example, the classic idol drama "Meteor Garden", a girl from an ordinary background Shancai is loved by the wealthy son Daoming Temple, and other people in F4 also have special feelings for her; in "Let's Watch Meteor Shower Together", Chu Yuxun, who is an ordinary person, is loved by the overbearing president Murong Yunhai, and is silently guarded by Duanmu Lei... These dramas have made countless girls hope that they can also become heroines.

  There are also people with "love brains" in life. They don’t want to pester their boyfriend all the time. They call and send WeChat to ask the boyfriend to reply in seconds. It’s impossible to work overtime because they have to go home to cook for their boyfriend, even if they break up. Will continue to chase and entangle...

  Others looked at them and couldn't help wondering: What do these people who are overly "love-brained" think?

Psychologists say that they may be obsessive attachment people.

  In intimate relationships, people behave differently. Some people avoid intimacy and want more independent time and space; some worry about being abandoned and want to listen to their partners express their love.

According to the two dimensions of avoiding intimacy and worrying about being abandoned, the attachment types of adults can be roughly divided into the following four types:

  Safe attachment: Whether you are close to your partner or alone, you can be comfortable;

  Alienated attachment: avoids intimacy very much and feels that they do not need intimacy very much;

  Fearful attachment: avoiding intimacy and worrying about not being liked, very entangled;

  Obsessive attachment: Over-dependence, that is, the performance of "love brain"!

  Ultimately, people who are obsessed with attachment have a negative view of themselves, and their partner’s image in their hearts is very positive, so they seem to have lost their souls, and hope that this good partner will not abandon the "bad" self. .

CPs who are evenly matched in their careers are what young people in this class want to talk about.

  Because in the minds of obsessive attachment people, the images of themselves and their partners are so different, the two are not psychologically equal, and they are always full of "saving" and "saving" dramas when they get along.

What needs to be explained is that this inequality is not completely consistent with the inequality of money and social status in reality. The "prince" who is obsessed with attachment may need the salvation of "Cinderella", and the girl with obsessive attachment may also be with herself. A boyfriend who is almost the same as the only light in the real world.

  But these plots, this year's young people are already bored.

  We increasingly prefer CPs that are psychologically evenly matched, so that they are more in line with reality, and the things we do are more "IQ online", so that people can feel a clear sense of reality.

  After entering the 21st century, psychological research on the decision-making power of couples in marriage often found that compared with the last century, couples make more decisions together and are more equal.

  In addition, the more equal the partners are, the happier they are, and the less quarreling they usually have. This appearance has become more and more the appearance of the beautiful love in the hearts of young people nowadays.

  In "You Are My Glory", Qiao Jingjing never puts on a celebrity profile about Tu. When Yu Tu is ridiculed by his classmates, Qiao Jingjing cleverly borrows wine to relieve him, and she speaks ingeniously so that Yu Tu does not feel embarrassed.

Yu Tu never felt that Qiao Jingjing was stupid, defending Jingjing in front of his ex-girlfriend.

Although sometimes teased her for "need to eat more starch", but never fooled her as a fool.

The most important thing is that two people respect each other's wishes and like the real appearance of each other.

Yu Tu’s ex-girlfriend once broke up because of his pursuit of aerospace dreams, but Qiao Jingjing has always supported him in scientific research; Qiao Jingjing’s ex-boyfriend once asked her to give up her career and teach her sons, but Yu Tu will read the script with her so she doesn’t have to Consider how you feel and avoid intimate scenes.

  It looks like CP is the two CPs on the surface. In fact, they are the projections of our real life emotions.

We admire the strong, and we also appreciate the equal power and the sweet love of getting along with each other, so the sweet and strong CP in books, movies and TV dramas has become a way for us to place our hopes on.

How can I keep my IQ online when sweet love is my turn?

  Even if we have many opinions on love, when it's our turn to love love, we will be a little at a loss: How can we do both a career and love?

  In fact, when obsessive attachment people fall into the "love brain", the object they want to stick to is not necessarily the current partner, but may be the caregiver who failed to satisfy and respond to himself when he was a child.

People who are obsessed with attachment may have a caregiver who is unstable to themselves when they are young. Sometimes they can hug each other, but sometimes they are very indifferent. So they like to be clingy and hope to get more intimacy. I don't know when others will become indifferent again.

  Therefore, when you find that your "love brain" is on top and you need to stick to your partner desperately, don't worry, pause, take a few deep and long breaths, or meditate on something around you to interrupt the "automation" Anxiety, return to reality, return to the present, and see that this partner is stable now, rather than the imaginary appearance of responding and being indifferent from time to time.

  The more fundamental method is to believe in your own value in your heart and improve your status in your heart.

You can write a paragraph about the positive aspects of yourself: What are my strengths, what I am good at, what are the important qualities and abilities, what can prove that I am good, and I can also let my partner praise myself... so that I can feel it To his response, he made his image in his heart more stable, enhanced his sense of value, and had a more positive understanding of himself, which would kill two birds with one stone.

  I wish you also meet people who truly appreciate you, and have evenly matched intimacy.

  Yin Jinxiu Source: China Youth Daily