Our reporter Zheng Mengyu
Chen Hui never thought of becoming a writer.
The media camera suddenly pointed at her, and she was not surprised.
"You told the biscuits seller that you are on TV. Will biscuits be cheaper? Two books have been published, and life has not changed." She has always thought of herself as a "second seller" in a vegetable market. "Writing is a hobby, and life is always The first one."
After experiencing the thrashing of life, she counted the world's various situations in the vegetable market, smoothed the wrinkles in her heart with words, and smoothed the knots of life.
The days cycle back and forth between lively and quiet.
When the personal pain is transformed into deep self-resistance, the resilience of a rural woman grows from the primitive.
"A lot of sunny afternoons, I just sit like a black shiitake mushroom, sitting in my mountain house by the creek, slowly writing what I want to write." Chen Hui wrote road.
She was sitting at the window, her face covered with the shadow of the mountain.
Long and short housework:
The vegetable market is worth it
"The past was very crowded," Chen Hui wrote in a recent article, "My world is being reduced year by year, and it has just been condensed into an amber that matches my expectations. Suddenly there is someone carrying a camera and a microphone. People got in from the outside one after another."
In the past period of time, receiving media visits became her task. The articles she wanted to write were delayed and not completed. "There are always reporters to interrupt me."
When someone visits her house, she can only let them wait at the door of the house. No one can hinder her from finishing her morning business, "They come and go, like a gust of wind has passed, but I want to make money."
When I saw Chen Hui at the vegetable market, she was surrounded by a group of people, with a short braid tied low behind her head. She had dark skin and a loud voice. She was taking goods, looking for money, and greetings. She was crisp and neat. In the black waist bag was a stack of five ten yuan bills and some steel pins.
Because she is the third child, everyone calls her "Asan" at the Liangnong Vegetable Market in Yuyao.
At less than 6 o'clock in the morning every day, she pushes on her modified cart, which is filled with hundreds of lifestyle department stores.
The stall owners in the vegetable market and the folks in Liangnong Town all know that the "A San" who set up the stall is "like a man".
The small street where she set up all the year round is next to the vegetable market. It is famous because of her. People say that when buying department stores, go to the "street where Ah San sets up a stall."
Her small stall is like a place left far away from the times-most of the people who come and go are elderly people, speaking in dialects, and trading in cash.
She also sells things that are used in the corners of life: casserole clips, fly paper, ant medicine, thimble for clothes, hammer for meat, sickle for cutting rice, fish plane, thermos corks, and even scissors are divided into good parts. Several kinds: nail cutter, chicken killer, dowry...
At the age of 26, Ah San married from his hometown of Rugao, Jiangsu, to a small town in eastern Zhejiang.
During the 17 years of living here, I have learned the authentic Liangnong dialect. In the vegetable market, I can not only communicate with the elderly in the village without barriers, but also kindly call each mother-in-law "Mumma (meaning "mother" in the local dialect)", but also provide "After-sales service", to install things for each old man, teach them how to use them, and help them replace them for free if they are worn out.
When the child was 9 months old, Chen Hui came out to set up a stall under the pressure of life.
She felt that it was useless to put face to face.
For more than ten years, all the people I met on the road were acquaintances, and her business was constantly being taken care of by the people here. The passing mother said, "She's a nice person, please don't worry about her."
She likes the vegetable market, which is a nice place that is kind, warm, kind and full of life.
The relationship between people is simple. She treats customers politely, and she often gets the customers' attention.
"Those older people have been looking for me to buy things for more than ten years. If they can't find me, they will always ask me where I have been. That feeling makes me feel that the world is worthwhile, and the vegetable market is worth it." Chen Hui said.
She can also find "familiar things" when she was a child, food stalls, maltose, popsicles... which reminded her of the best childhood in her life.
"Life is not satisfactory, I am willing to look back."
In the vegetable market, she draws inspiration from writing.
The adoptive parents "pulled a half-life marriage", the coppersmith finally quit smoking after a serious illness, and the proprietress who opened the grocery store said that her crazy son had red eyes... These became the characters in her writing.
The things in the vegetable market have also become her rhetoric: light bulbs are like "shrinked oranges", and they are "gooseweeds growing close to the ground".
There is a long slope on the way home from the vegetable market.
Chen Hui used all her strength to push a car of "life" weighing one or two hundred catties forward.
With some savings, she moved a refrigerator to the house and installed an air conditioner in the room, "I want to live more comfortably."
In this small village with only a dozen households, her days are simply not worthy of yesterday, today and tomorrow.
The life of the past seemed to be trapped in a well.
"Actually, I only flip a brick every time, and I keep flipping it, just to let in some light and let in fresh air." Chen Hui said.
On that day, she tried, digging a light out of the well.
All the people around me in the pen:
Really rough, strong and vigorous
Around 10 in the morning, the hustle and bustle of the Liangnong vegetable market disappeared.
After closing the stall, the lively activities in the vegetable market were put away together with the department stores on the cart.
Chen Hui took the watermelon that his son loved to eat, stepped on a men's motorcycle, rode to the end of Dongxi Bridge, turned into a village road, and led to Xiaowanjia Village a few hundred meters away.
The small bungalow next to a stream is Chen Hui's home.
The stool has been left unused for a long time, and the legs of the electric fan in the living room are broken, shaking like a drunkard.
An old desktop computer is placed next to the bedroom window, with a black shell, thick gray accumulates in the gaps of the keyboard, and the key surface is polished brightly.
For more than ten years, except for setting up stalls in the vegetable market, she stayed in the room most of the time.
In the winter of 2010, she took back a computer from the vegetable market, took the internet connection, registered a QQ account, and typed some text intermittently in her QQ space:
"I want to burn my hair, I want to shave my eyebrows, I want to subvert myself, I think it's better."
"Underwear is a woman's gun. The underwear shop in the vegetable market sells colorful underwear, but I only wear underwear without sponge."
...
The original writing has nothing to do with literature, it is the same as running water, sentence breaks, and the length is free.
She pours on the computer and feels "so comfortable in her heart".
More than a year later, the prototype of the article came out.
"Writing is like learning to walk, I follow along." Chen Hui said.
The excitement of setting up stalls and the quietness of writing form a complement and contrast to her.
When going to the county to buy goods and waiting for the bus, she bought two magazines from the stall opposite the platform and read them all.
In weekdays, she likes to pick up a book and read, Shen Congwen, Wang Zengqi...their stories are vivid and simple, very similar to her own life. She feels cordial when she reads, "just like eating vegetables."
In writing, she does not have grand topic selection and deep ambition, and she is all around her.
"I have been thinking about the story I want to write, and broadcast it in my head." After setting up the stall, returning home, waking up from the lunch break, and creating.
It was quiet outside, only a few barking dogs heard in the distance.
Some readers saw articles on the Internet and praised her for her aura of writing, "truth and roughness, strong and energetic" and "a sense of resilience".
Unable to stand up to praise, she immediately rolled up her sleeves and continued to write.
In the postscript of her book, she wrote something like this: "I never thought about the purpose of writing. I just want to calm down and feel less lonely. When I focus on code words, it seems like I am in "Journey to the West". The old demon, the relic spit out of his lungs can often iron out the feathers that have been raised in the day."
"I have two windows. One allows me to lie on my stomach and peer into the mortal world close at hand; the other is used to float around and indulge the soul to wander around."
Outside the window, the back of the green mountain looked up, and the window opened, and the sound of the stream flowed into the house and flowed downstream to Siming Lake.
Chen Hui sat at the window for a long time, distinguishing the sound of rain from the sound of the stream, and typing on the keyboard accompanied by the sound of rain.
Nearly a hundred stories were born from her fingertips. She recorded the helplessness and solemnity, humbleness and nobleness of life.
The computer was placed under the window next to her bed. Sometimes when she was tired of writing or couldn't write, she looked out the window.
There are fields and creeks outside the window, and there is a woman who has had a stroke by the creek.
Chen Hui often looked at her.
She dragged the immovable half of her body to work in the field like a mop that was squeezed clean.
"I look at her, as if I am looking at a rare kind." Chen Hui said.
"The broad land is her way of retreat, and the small pieces of text are my salvation."
After closing, use words
Solve the unsatisfactory in life
A few days ago, Chen Hui had a sore on her leg and it hurt on her bones.
Unable to walk or set up a stall, she lay at home and rested for more than ten days, rarely used a social account, shouting and selling her own books on it.
"I have strong adaptability, but I can't live without life. I can't live by writing articles. If I don't set up a stall and have no income, I have to sell books." She held the three green manuscript fee bills she had just received. The wrinkle came from the local newspaper after her article was published.
"You can buy more watermelon for my son." Chen Hui said, "I don't shy away from my love for money, which is also my love for life. I don't care about what I can't afford." She thinks her books are like hers. The commodities sold in the cart are all evidence of hard life. She yells hard and is respected by others.
For the two published books, "The One Who Flees You Long Will Come" and "The Children of the World", the Yuyao Municipal Government’s literary boutique support project paid for her publishing costs. Except for gifts to relatives and friends, the rest will be added. I got up and sold for more than 30,000 yuan.
She always believed that if she was "successfully", she might not be a writer.
It is both physical and psychological.
He was given away by his parents at the age of 3, and was raised by adoptive parents, and because of illness, he had to take medicine for life.
Graduated from a vocational school, worked as a tailor, and opened a department store. At the age of 26, he married from his hometown in Suzhong Plain to Zhejiang. After a marriage change, he was divorced at the age of 40. He lived alone with his children. "All the cards of life were thrown away."
She summed up herself in one sentence: "Bumpy life, loneliness is like a shadow."
The motorbike passes by the Siming Lake next to the village, and she often stops by the lake for a while.
"Ordinary people's lives are full of thread, and they are scattered." Chen Hui said.
For more than ten years, she has been riding that Suzuki motorcycle to buy goods, and the car rumbling, looks chic and sassy.
"A woman seems strong, but she should have been soft." There seemed to be regrets aside from her voice, "If you could not be a bike rider, you would be happy to be a bike rider."
Because there is nothing to rely on, so looking free and easy, this kind of "toughness" is hard to carry.
A person with a soft nature is hardened by the "iron" of life.
The ups and downs in the vegetable market seem to be covering up the grievances in life; she travels back and forth between her home and the vegetable market, and also back and forth between the written words and hard days.
During that time, she relied more on the vegetable market, where it was steaming hot and could find someone to talk and gather the spirit of life; after closing the stall, she closed the door alone and wrote, using words to solve the unsatisfactory life in her life.
This became a secret game between her and life.
For several years living alone in this small town, she was radical and confused.
Someone who asked her to co-publish a book, be a student, or let her broadcast a live broadcast... Faced with the possibility of changing her life, she felt vigilant and uneasy.
"Those Internet celebrities can't return to their original world after making a lot of money. They have a lot of thoughts and can't calm down and write."
The tempering of life has forged a stubborn, tough, cautious, but extremely sober person.
"I live quietly and feel comfortable." "I only make money I can make, and I choose a quiet life." In her opinion, caution is also a virtue. She knows what she wants and is determined to return to a kind "Lifeism".
"They underestimated the concentration of a middle-aged woman who has been immersed in loneliness for a long time. The excitement is someone else's. I just want to lie down and take my nap comfortably."
The only thing she accepted-Yuyao No. 3 Middle School where her son was studying asked her to give a writing class, and she was happy to go.
She feels that she has won the respect of others by working hard, allowing her son to see a different mother, setting a role model for her son, and making him more confident.
"I'm the rock under his feet, and I'm walking forward under him."
Take the initiative to run away from the marriage and choose a life that is simple and regular... Stripping away the clutter and minutiae, she feels that the days now are relaxed and stretched.
Living in a foreign country for 17 years
11 years of casual writing
Two days ago, Chen Hui received a computer, but could not find the kind person who sent it.
She thought that maybe the person who did this didn't plan to accept her gratitude at all.
He lived in a foreign country for 17 years, set up a food market for 15 years, and wrote casually for 11 years.
"No one can touch even a tiny sneeze deep in my heart. However, when these kindnesses that I didn't expect were swept into my hands like the fire of a snowy night, I realized that I have always been in love. In the dust, I have never pulled out my feet." Chen Hui wrote.
Emotionally, she is a conservative, willing to admit her weakness.
She didn't regard this place where she had lived for more than ten years as a "home", but just a place to live temporarily.
But she can't return to her hometown.
She was taken care of by her adoptive parents since she was a child, and she had a "rich and undisciplined childhood".
Those pictures that most often come to mind are the little ones sitting on the threshold of a blue tiled house reading a book. There is a row of large metasequoia trees on the right side of the door. In summer, adults will wash rice, wash vegetables, and wash by the river. Clothes, children will swim in the river.
During the slack season, the villagers carried their parcels and rolled out the door. During the busy season, they flew back like migratory birds. The neighbors often ate together and helped each other.
That "distant" childhood still made her feel happy.
She believes that "dining table is the biggest place in life", life is the foundation of everything and her "main business".
"As long as I can stand, I will definitely not pick up vegetable leaves to eat, I will definitely eat braised pork."
A meal is the most tangible.
She has a handful of joyful enthusiasm for what she eats at all times.
"If there is no such little enthusiasm, I don't know what fun in my simple life. Food gives people energy and keeps us alive; food also conveys emotions and makes us warm." Human fireworks are affectionate and righteous.
Chen Hui said that the degree of happiness in life does not depend on the circumstances of life, but on the attitude of life.
"I am not happy, so I do more things related to happiness, eat something delicious, take the kids to a movie, go home and quarrel with my mother. I am not happy, but I am still dealing with life, human heart I am dissatisfied. I still love her after seeing life clearly."
She began to learn about erhu, so as not to be unable to push the cart because of her health in the future, she can also pull the erhu to "sell art" at the vegetable market to make a living.
This is her deployment and retreat to life.
After entering the vegetable market, she no longer had a noble and inferior judgment.
She also doesn't think there is anything noble about writing. "Life is the most noble thing. We can arrange words, but life is orchestrating us."
"Do you have the ability to challenge life? Life is the most advanced, you have no choice. I am no longer a fighter, so I don't fight anymore. I will follow and stick to what it gives me to make myself less uncomfortable. Life. It won't coax you, you can only recognize it and blend into it."
More than ten years have passed, "A San set up a stall on the street" people come and go, some people come and go.
She never moved into a formal store, nor did she choose a more profitable business.
She still pushes a cart to sell small department stores on this street.
She feels at ease, you give me money and I will give you goods, one dollar and one dollar in her hand, just like her life and the principle of being a person.
In the few years at home, she didn't grow flowers. She grew green onions, mint, and loofah, all of which she liked the most.
A few green onions were planted with stitches in the loofah seedlings, and the uprooted vines climbed up to her window, and a few small golden flowers bloomed.
From the dining table, to the small courtyard, to the boundary of life, Chen Hui's life became clearer and clearer.
She didn't want to be labeled with words like "escape" and "awakening". She felt that these were "too big" and "it's better to be an honest person."
In a real human life, how can all be satisfied?
She said that life is a container, and she is water. The shape of the bottle becomes the shape of the bottle.
"I'm a person who floats in the river in a small boat. Where is it?" Chen Hui said, "I met a small flower on the road, and I would store it."