Chinanews client, Beijing, August 18th (Reporter Shangguanyun) "Love is a game, and we must always be equal and evenly matched with each other in order to be dependent on each other forever." This passage has been heard by many people. Seen as another interpretation of soul mate.
Recently, the topic of how the two sides get along in the relationship of "strong women and weak men" has repeatedly appeared in hot searches.
One point of view is well-recognized: whether in love or marriage, two people should be friends who can be partners, or partners who respect each other.
Data Map: The image and text are irrelevant.
Photo by Bao Gansheng
If in a relationship, in addition to the necessary respect, you need to blindly cater to the other person, this kind of relationship is tantamount to spectacle, maybe there is a short-term romance, but it is difficult to solidify.
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In a program, starting from the discussion of "women strong and men weak" related topics, it caused a heated discussion "Do girls cater to the self-esteem of lovers?"
For example, the girl deliberately soils the house for the boy to clean, exposes her shortcomings to him, says she is useless, helps him gain a sense of accomplishment in life, and forms a "sister praise group" for friends to praise him together.
Some people think that this is respect for their boyfriend and a way of expressing love; others think that the root of the problem lies in the other party's deep-rooted inferiority complex.
This kind of humble catering is completely unnecessary, it is easy to lose yourself, and may not be effective.
Looking at the question from different angles, you will often get different answers.
However, one thing is certain. In an intimate relationship, both men and women need to respect each other, but not blindly lower themselves, let alone lose themselves.
There is no absolutely perfect person and love in the world.
If one cannot face up to and accept his own weaknesses and make no changes, does his partner have to carefully maintain the other's fragile heart throughout his life?
Such love is too tiring.
Keeping a sense of reason while paying, caring for the other party and respecting oneself will make it easier for the relationship to last.
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In the old drama "Deep Love and Rain", which is often used for nostalgia, Yiping in the early stage is the one who loves with dignity.
Image source: video screenshot
In the past, watching dramas made it easy to be moved by the stories between several pairs of lovers; now from another perspective, behind the exaggerated romantic love, there are cruel truths of life hidden.
After asking her father for money once in the rain, she thoroughly understood the indifference "over there" and determined to make money and achieve economic independence.
In terms of the situation at the time, she was much worse than He Shuhuan, but in front of her boyfriend, she still maintained a sense of confidence.
For example, when encountering an unfriendly cross-examination, she immediately went back with reason and evidence: Lai Hao found out that Yiping was working in the "Great Shanghai Ballroom", and her disgust was overwhelming. "We are here to have fun. What are you here for?" "
"I'm more noble than you, and I'm here to make money." Faced with the troubles and ridicule from her relatives, she did not tolerate, and did not feel ashamed of herself. What attracted He Shuhuan at first was because of her inferiority or arrogance.
Different from Ruping's humbleness, she can see through He Shuhuan's mind and stay awake with her feelings: What you want is not resonance at all, what you want is obedience, love may blind me, but you can't let me follow blindly.
Therefore, some people think that if you don’t look at the plot behind the love brain, Yiping can be called a "shuangwen heroine", pursuing love, and also pursuing personality independence and equality, this is her most attractive place, and she can also walk with her lovers. The last reason.
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In other words, spiritual equality in love is more important than material strength.
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Photo by Yang Bo
The story in the famous book "Jane Eyre" also illustrates this point from the side.
Jane Eyre grew up in a very bad environment. After graduation, in order to make a living, she applied to become a tutor.
Because of similar interests, Jane Eyre and her host Rochester fell in love, but after discovering that Rochester had a mad wife, she chose to leave.
Later, the situation of the two sides changed dramatically.
She was given a huge inheritance and returned to her hometown to find out that the mad woman died of arson and Rochester was injured and disabled.
In the end, Jane Eyre chose to marry him and got her ideal happy life.
Some readers said that one of the most touching things is her independence and her attitude towards love, "You think I am poor, humble, and short, and I have no soul and no heart? You are wrong! My soul and Like you, my heart is exactly the same as you!"
Wealth, social status... are nothing in her eyes. Real happiness lies in a beautiful spiritual world and a noble and pure heart.
For a person, for people, equality and tenacity, this is the most important thing.
Love should be a match between two souls, not a vassal of each other.
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In a relationship, the "halo effect" makes it easy for people to magnify each other's strengths and fall into blindness.
However, love without reason is hard to last, and feelings of being sober, independent and able to support each other are often more permanent.
Data Map: The image and text are irrelevant.
Photo by Chen Xingming
We will meet many people in our lives. We may admire, or even admire, a person because of a superior condition or appearance, and we are willing to try to understand each other.
But you should always remember not to be blinded by goodwill and lose yourself.
Whether a relationship can last, whether a marriage is happy or not is not necessarily related to the relationship between "strong women and weak men" or "strong men and weak women". The three perspectives of the two parties are similar and the souls are highly compatible. This is the foundation of getting along, and there is no need to deliberately cater to them. (Finish)